when everything is wrong move along. . .
god it's getting so hard. every breath every day i have to wake up and face the same miserable excuse of a life is wearing me down a little more each time. there's not one person who truly knows how i'm feeling. i don't talk to anybody anymore. i'm resorting back to the person i once was. and i don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. i almost cried today. i need to cry, but for some reason my body never lets me. instead, like everything else, it just sits on the verge of surfacing, teasing me with its presence and then fleeing. how am i supposed to handle this. i don't even understand why i feel like this. one week i'll be happy and the next two i'll be depressed. and then i'll be happy for two days and depressed for three weeks. i don't understand it. i honestly don't know how much longer i can keep doing this. it's a miserable dance with emotions and i can't keep up with the steps. i'm begging for a break. for the chance to just sit and breath. and it feels like i'll never get it.