staring now im....starting over

[f0rallitsworth]

well a lot of shit has happened in one weekend....

i realized that i hurt the person i love more than anything so bad that it finally pushed him away

i realized that here is not where i need to be

i realized i cant get out of this horrible stage in my life

i realized that i am leaving in december

i realized i need him more than i have ever needed anyone and he isnt here...

i realized i cant keep doing this with the person at home

i realized im not a very good at speaking from the heart and trying to make it sound something like english at the same time

i realized that i need to get on some kind of sceduale to get a routine back in my life

i realized that sometimes all you need is your best friend to put everything in perspective for you.....even if your at a random house drunk off your ass throwing up while a guy by the name of fletcher laughes and means it but then rubs your back and tries like hell to coaz you through it.....

i realized the dirty d has nothing for me......sad sad news......but so true

but most of all.....i realized love cant be surpressed by distance and other random guys because no matter what i do......i always want to wake up next to him......

motherfuckingshitbitchwhoreshitflingerpissingbitchtwat.........

i hate myself for this......and need to make it all better