hmmm....
It's hard not to take it personally but is there any other explanation?
I've just spent the last couple of months either thinking about or doing my assignments for uni. The rest of the my time was spent either with watching videos, visiting my girlfriend or at work. I think that might be the main cause of the problem. I haven't been making an effort to keep in contact so neither have they.
So when I finally got around to hosting my housewarming party last Sunday 99% of the people I invited didn't come. Sure there might be lots of reasons that may have nothing to do with me - everybody has their own lives to live and who knows what other factors there might be affecting there decision not to come. The problem is however with Facebook, now I can casually confirm what people were really doing with themselves on the day.
One of the most frequent replies I received from my "friends" was that they "might" come but were not sure yet. When someone tells you that, what they are really saying is "I don't really want to go but I don't want to be rude and tell you directly". An alternative version is "Sorry I can't come on that day because xyz reason but let's catch up again another time" - the key phrase here being a vague reference to the future without making a firm commitment. It's a tactic commonly used by employers to try and soften the blow to a prospective employee who submitted an unsuccessful resume. But instead of saying "let's catch up again some time" Employers would simply say "We'll keep your resume on file and contact you again if there are any future vacancies". Never once in my 15 years on the job market have I ever been contacted again after receiving one of those messages.
Is it unreasonable for me to expect a straight answer? I know that being straight can often mean being rude. However is it better to lie rather then to be rude? In situations like these I would rather know where I stand with someone even if it is unpleasant to know. But people are selfish I think and want to remain on good terms with somebody they are not that close to just in case they can benefit from such a connection some time in the future.
I've just spent the last couple of months either thinking about or doing my assignments for uni. The rest of the my time was spent either with watching videos, visiting my girlfriend or at work. I think that might be the main cause of the problem. I haven't been making an effort to keep in contact so neither have they.
So when I finally got around to hosting my housewarming party last Sunday 99% of the people I invited didn't come. Sure there might be lots of reasons that may have nothing to do with me - everybody has their own lives to live and who knows what other factors there might be affecting there decision not to come. The problem is however with Facebook, now I can casually confirm what people were really doing with themselves on the day.
One of the most frequent replies I received from my "friends" was that they "might" come but were not sure yet. When someone tells you that, what they are really saying is "I don't really want to go but I don't want to be rude and tell you directly". An alternative version is "Sorry I can't come on that day because xyz reason but let's catch up again another time" - the key phrase here being a vague reference to the future without making a firm commitment. It's a tactic commonly used by employers to try and soften the blow to a prospective employee who submitted an unsuccessful resume. But instead of saying "let's catch up again some time" Employers would simply say "We'll keep your resume on file and contact you again if there are any future vacancies". Never once in my 15 years on the job market have I ever been contacted again after receiving one of those messages.
Is it unreasonable for me to expect a straight answer? I know that being straight can often mean being rude. However is it better to lie rather then to be rude? In situations like these I would rather know where I stand with someone even if it is unpleasant to know. But people are selfish I think and want to remain on good terms with somebody they are not that close to just in case they can benefit from such a connection some time in the future.