A lack of sleep.
The past weekend I probably got 15 hours of sleep. This week I've got inbetween 5 and 7 hours of sleep a night. I am starting to lose my mind and I only get less sleep from here on out. It's all good because I'm really excited to start working with the kids and being able to teach. Both groups seem really enthusiastic to learn so I feel pretty good about going up there the next few weeks. But... as of late school seems like the last thing on my mind. It preoccupies enough of my time during the week and weekends with projects and assignments but its not the only thing I can think about. Theres always a girl on my mind no matter how hard I try to block it out... but theres always girls on my mind, human nature I suppose. It's just that now I can only think of one girl - it hasn't been that way in a while. The thing that is killing me is that I know I don't have a chance and I'm trying to stop thinking about it. But then I'll look through all my old texts from her or hear a chord progression or something really stupid. I've only been getting to know her for a few months so it's not like I have any serious attachment but I was really starting to dig my self into that great hole we call love. So as I was falling I am forced to crawl back up a slippery slope. Now the situation seems too far removed from me to do anything but sit alone every night and wait without saying anything... I just feel like I keep making the same decisions over and over but I thought it was different this time.