Crossroads
So I've decided, I really do not want to go back to school in January. I keep telling people that I am/I'm applying but in my heart I really don't want to. The only reason why I'm applying at all is to make my family happy and get a master's degree (I would be the first grandchild to get my masters and neither of my parents have one so it is a big thing for them).
But the thing is I've wanted to move to Asia for years. It dominated my studies in that it is a very good thing they started the whole '1 credit per region' thing for history after I had finished my second year, as other than my Canadian history, all my history credits were considered 'World' aka, history of Asia. Back to when I was in high school but went to university knowing having my BA would mean I could apply to the better companies. But then my parents decided to push me towards getting a master's degree as there isn't a whole lot one can do with a History Major, Minor in English Lit other than become a public school teacher which despite wanting to go to Asia to teach English, I don't want to teach in a Canadian classroom... which is why I've floated with the idea of doing a masters in Library and Information Sciences, as I would love of be in an archive, but I so want to go to Asia.
All summer little things have come up that doing this application is just difficult. At this point, all I have left to do is the 'please accept me into your program, please!' letter but I'm having a lot of problems writing it when I don't think I really want to go. That and I have no idea what to write or even begin.
Last week I screwed myself over and went to the International Job Opportunities Fair at the university to visit one of my friends who had been to Japan with JET and as a program to ensure others that Japan is still safe she went back to Sendai to visit her schools all of which had someone been effected by the earthquake and tsunami, and she will be going back next year missing being in Japan so much. And while I am thinking of going to Korea instead talking to the one company (the other feels like some sort of prostitution cycle...they were so sketchy and while she had this awesome position for me couldn't tell me exactly what would be going on or the name of the university she mentioned...) it just made me want to go more still.
So now I'm sitting at a bit of a crossroads unsure exactly what I should do. I hate being in debt, I hate being in a dead end job and there is just nothing else available in London accept more dead end, part time jobs. School is only going to cost more and put me more in debt (I find it terrifying to be in debt) as I do not have the money for it and my parent's should be the one to foot the bill of that. While at the same time I acknowledge the fact that I may possibly go off to Korea and if/when I come back to Canada I likely will not go back to school, my Grandma and I had a short discussion about this (she also really wants to tell people she has a grandchild with a Master's degree). But I don't know, I'm 23 and I just feel like I'm wasting life. I want to go out and experience the world and do something more.
So I'm not sure, I'm confused and I'm not sure who to talk to or how exactly to speak up to my parents about this as that's my biggest worry. As no matter what they are my family and I really value their opinion and it was a big thing having me move out, I can only imagine what me moving to another country would be like. I half wonder if this is some plan of theirs to keep me holding this off long enough to change my mind and not go.
So yeah, crossroads.
(Side note, been on painkillers for the past three weeks almost, they are making me write...)
But the thing is I've wanted to move to Asia for years. It dominated my studies in that it is a very good thing they started the whole '1 credit per region' thing for history after I had finished my second year, as other than my Canadian history, all my history credits were considered 'World' aka, history of Asia. Back to when I was in high school but went to university knowing having my BA would mean I could apply to the better companies. But then my parents decided to push me towards getting a master's degree as there isn't a whole lot one can do with a History Major, Minor in English Lit other than become a public school teacher which despite wanting to go to Asia to teach English, I don't want to teach in a Canadian classroom... which is why I've floated with the idea of doing a masters in Library and Information Sciences, as I would love of be in an archive, but I so want to go to Asia.
All summer little things have come up that doing this application is just difficult. At this point, all I have left to do is the 'please accept me into your program, please!' letter but I'm having a lot of problems writing it when I don't think I really want to go. That and I have no idea what to write or even begin.
Last week I screwed myself over and went to the International Job Opportunities Fair at the university to visit one of my friends who had been to Japan with JET and as a program to ensure others that Japan is still safe she went back to Sendai to visit her schools all of which had someone been effected by the earthquake and tsunami, and she will be going back next year missing being in Japan so much. And while I am thinking of going to Korea instead talking to the one company (the other feels like some sort of prostitution cycle...they were so sketchy and while she had this awesome position for me couldn't tell me exactly what would be going on or the name of the university she mentioned...) it just made me want to go more still.
So now I'm sitting at a bit of a crossroads unsure exactly what I should do. I hate being in debt, I hate being in a dead end job and there is just nothing else available in London accept more dead end, part time jobs. School is only going to cost more and put me more in debt (I find it terrifying to be in debt) as I do not have the money for it and my parent's should be the one to foot the bill of that. While at the same time I acknowledge the fact that I may possibly go off to Korea and if/when I come back to Canada I likely will not go back to school, my Grandma and I had a short discussion about this (she also really wants to tell people she has a grandchild with a Master's degree). But I don't know, I'm 23 and I just feel like I'm wasting life. I want to go out and experience the world and do something more.
So I'm not sure, I'm confused and I'm not sure who to talk to or how exactly to speak up to my parents about this as that's my biggest worry. As no matter what they are my family and I really value their opinion and it was a big thing having me move out, I can only imagine what me moving to another country would be like. I half wonder if this is some plan of theirs to keep me holding this off long enough to change my mind and not go.
So yeah, crossroads.
(Side note, been on painkillers for the past three weeks almost, they are making me write...)