Sorry I don't know how to do LJ cuts....
Somehow, I had an almost completely analytical insight into how I behave and why I behave the way I do. It was like a dam broke, and all the sudden my entire personality was laid out for me like a map. Exploring the ego can lead to frightening conclusions, and immediately afterwards I typed out 1500 odd words of what I had learned. It started out as a conversation with Andrew, but he had to go to bed at 5am. So I basically copied the conversation, and edited out the conversational pieces. It ends up as an extremely long exploration of the self broken up in fragments originating in the way I was talking to Andrew.
If you want to read it, feel free to ask (ok more like please do, I do want to share it, but feel bad posting 1500 words when I can’t do LJ cuts) and I will send you the file. But be forewarned- you WILL see the scary parts of Andrew McMillan that he himself was only faintly aware of until recently. If you already view Andrew as a saint, or harbor any illusions concerning his holiness (or lack of), I URGE you to stay away from it. We will have to ease you into the crazy swirling cauldron known as Andrew's brain, before you are faced with the horrifying truth of existence.
Unfortunately, by the time that I had typed this all out, the map began to roll up again, and further exploration of the ego was temporarily halted. But I think that several extremely helpful points concerning my ego were touched upon, and I have learned a lot from the experience.
One of the last things I talked to Andrew about was my feelings of frustration involving personal revelations and insights. Lately, I had several instances where I felt extremely close to at least a mildly insightful revelation, but for various reasons, didn't reach. Once the AIM conversational piece regarding this frustration was copied into word and I started editing it, it slowly took on characteristics of a poem. That's I decided just to turn it into a full blown poem. Now this is weird for me, as I've never been much of a poet, or ever had a taste for almost any poetry outside of Poe. So this is my first legitimate poem, outside of the crap I made up for Lit. I also posted it in my AIM buddy profile, but felt it needed a more permanent place of residence.
Creative flash!
Half-formed thoughts flow out
Excitement from this sudden creative outpour
Idea!
But not yet fully realized
Comes yet another
One idea leads to the next
Can’t keep up
Franticly trying to assemble
Thoughts keep coming out
Almost there!
The pieces begin to fit
But something stops you
The insight, fleeting
Is abandoned
Later returning
Remembering the product of that wonderful creative energy
Disjointed fragments of thought
The near-product
Of brilliance
A passing moment of genius
The volatile spark of creation
The flow that bound it all together
Gone
Please, at the very least, comment or tell me what you think of my first real poem.
If you want to read it, feel free to ask (ok more like please do, I do want to share it, but feel bad posting 1500 words when I can’t do LJ cuts) and I will send you the file. But be forewarned- you WILL see the scary parts of Andrew McMillan that he himself was only faintly aware of until recently. If you already view Andrew as a saint, or harbor any illusions concerning his holiness (or lack of), I URGE you to stay away from it. We will have to ease you into the crazy swirling cauldron known as Andrew's brain, before you are faced with the horrifying truth of existence.
Unfortunately, by the time that I had typed this all out, the map began to roll up again, and further exploration of the ego was temporarily halted. But I think that several extremely helpful points concerning my ego were touched upon, and I have learned a lot from the experience.
One of the last things I talked to Andrew about was my feelings of frustration involving personal revelations and insights. Lately, I had several instances where I felt extremely close to at least a mildly insightful revelation, but for various reasons, didn't reach. Once the AIM conversational piece regarding this frustration was copied into word and I started editing it, it slowly took on characteristics of a poem. That's I decided just to turn it into a full blown poem. Now this is weird for me, as I've never been much of a poet, or ever had a taste for almost any poetry outside of Poe. So this is my first legitimate poem, outside of the crap I made up for Lit. I also posted it in my AIM buddy profile, but felt it needed a more permanent place of residence.
Creative flash!
Half-formed thoughts flow out
Excitement from this sudden creative outpour
Idea!
But not yet fully realized
Comes yet another
One idea leads to the next
Can’t keep up
Franticly trying to assemble
Thoughts keep coming out
Almost there!
The pieces begin to fit
But something stops you
The insight, fleeting
Is abandoned
Later returning
Remembering the product of that wonderful creative energy
Disjointed fragments of thought
The near-product
Of brilliance
A passing moment of genius
The volatile spark of creation
The flow that bound it all together
Gone
Please, at the very least, comment or tell me what you think of my first real poem.