Withdrawn....? huh?
Idk what's up lately. I feel alright. Not hyper, just kinda chill. I haven't been emo at all. (With the exception of one very large dissapointment on a PMS day.) I think it might be the first time in a few months that I haven't been crazy stressed or anything. I've just been chilling out on my own. Hanging out with whoever requests my time, but other than that just coming home and retreating to my room. I guess that's not typical me cus i usually like to keep busy and overload myself...
but it's weird. Because like 8 people have asked me what's wrong. I've always valued my dad's opinion and character judgements cus he's usually right on about everthing. So Last night when he came into my room and closed the door and sat down... i was like "hmmm wonder what's up..." Then he looked me in the eye and was like "What's going on with you lately? I've never seen you so depressed and withdrawn. What's up?" and I was utterly confused. I mean, it was immediately after lacrosse so i was too beat to be hyper and up beat, but i was in a pretty good mood cus we'd just kicked some ass on the field. And I didn't know how to convince him that nothing terrible had happened. But then my mom and my sister and cameron and cassie and other RANDOM people were asking the same type of thing... and it's just like "whaaa?" I mean when I'm truely emo and feeling like shit no one really notices... but when i'm just chill and apathetic everyone's concerned. It's weird.
But now it's making me think.... like why have i been so dissinterested lately? I can't really figure it out. I'm not unhappy. I mean... besides the monumental reality slap regarding my future.... nothing's really upset me. (If I went into detail you'd prolly think I was retarded so i won't specify hahaha.) But now i'm analyzing myself.... like maybe i'm being apathetic so i'm not upset, so i'm like "oh no what am i upset about?" but then i don't care enough to figure it out. hahaha. i suck. idk i was just thinking about that. Anyway... sorry for the vent. that's all.
I do still love hanging out and chilling and such.... so you could easily call me sometime soon to do so.
but it's weird. Because like 8 people have asked me what's wrong. I've always valued my dad's opinion and character judgements cus he's usually right on about everthing. So Last night when he came into my room and closed the door and sat down... i was like "hmmm wonder what's up..." Then he looked me in the eye and was like "What's going on with you lately? I've never seen you so depressed and withdrawn. What's up?" and I was utterly confused. I mean, it was immediately after lacrosse so i was too beat to be hyper and up beat, but i was in a pretty good mood cus we'd just kicked some ass on the field. And I didn't know how to convince him that nothing terrible had happened. But then my mom and my sister and cameron and cassie and other RANDOM people were asking the same type of thing... and it's just like "whaaa?" I mean when I'm truely emo and feeling like shit no one really notices... but when i'm just chill and apathetic everyone's concerned. It's weird.
But now it's making me think.... like why have i been so dissinterested lately? I can't really figure it out. I'm not unhappy. I mean... besides the monumental reality slap regarding my future.... nothing's really upset me. (If I went into detail you'd prolly think I was retarded so i won't specify hahaha.) But now i'm analyzing myself.... like maybe i'm being apathetic so i'm not upset, so i'm like "oh no what am i upset about?" but then i don't care enough to figure it out. hahaha. i suck. idk i was just thinking about that. Anyway... sorry for the vent. that's all.
I do still love hanging out and chilling and such.... so you could easily call me sometime soon to do so.