it's just another manic monday...
First day of classes was a bit more than i expected. DIS got canceled, so i walked my ass over the the college of medicine at 9am for nothing. Physics 2 i was dreading since i had the same professor as last semester, and we had a 40% average for his midterm. I swore he was a dark wizard out to eat my soul or something. Turns out he had an exersiscm over the break, cuz his method of teaching this semester is a lot nicer and and is, ya know, directed towards actually helping us learn the shit.
I got to work, and immediately had an 8" pile of papers to go through. Then, i tried to turn on my computer...and nothing. It didn't shut down, boot up, or anything. Turns out the damn this shat itself during th break and was simply dead. The good news is that i now have the same type of PC, but a little faster, and i will get all of my files from my old hard drive (which would have sucked monkee ballz if i couldn't), and since i smoozed up to the techie i might even get an LCD now. This all means that Blakies couldn't do much of her work yesterday, so i just chilled.
At 5pm i had my diagnostic MCAT test for Kaplan. 4.5 hours of shit which i know is in my memory, i just can't piece it together unless i review first. There was a girl next to me who was complaining about how the ONLY C she got was in organic 2...and she was going to take it again. I wanted to slap her, and i suddenly felt very panicy and ill. I came home, ate dinner, and threw it up an hour later. To be honest, i am scared shitless about this test. My entire future will be determined by a single 8 hour long grueling marathon of Physics, Biology, Chem, Organic chem, verbal reasoning, and writing. I know i have a full 12 weeks and this course will help me, but i can't help think what if i don't get in. what if.
There are many faces of me, as many of you know. One feels like shes in a straight jacket, in a white padded room with nothing to face but her own demons and screaming to be let out. Another face is all business. She's emotionless about everything and worries only about what needs to be done to get ahead of the rat race. Her life is filled with meetings, telephone conferences, meaningless sex to fill a void she won't admitt to, nice clothes and peticures specifically to give off a good impression. Another is a slacker who sometimes worries she hasn't done enough, but in the end is always surprised when she's more ahead than she thinks. I don't like to think of my entire psyche as this simple, only being divided into three section, but they feel the most predominant lately.
Last night the crazy one, who panics easily took over. This morning i woke up, mentally slapped myself across the face and told myself to grow some balls. My life shall be determined by one test, and therefor i shall own the shit out of it. I can do this. It's just like training for a marathon...the first few days are always the hardest, but it gets easier little by little.
High note : I'm wearing a cute outfit today and Diana totally made my day by telling me i looked "very Jacky O." =)
Note to self : Never go to the FSU Book store again, its not worth running into kyle. Apparently he's working there again. I'm a bit proud of myself, i saw him from far away and just left. This is one semester that i will not let him fuck over for me.
I got to work, and immediately had an 8" pile of papers to go through. Then, i tried to turn on my computer...and nothing. It didn't shut down, boot up, or anything. Turns out the damn this shat itself during th break and was simply dead. The good news is that i now have the same type of PC, but a little faster, and i will get all of my files from my old hard drive (which would have sucked monkee ballz if i couldn't), and since i smoozed up to the techie i might even get an LCD now. This all means that Blakies couldn't do much of her work yesterday, so i just chilled.
At 5pm i had my diagnostic MCAT test for Kaplan. 4.5 hours of shit which i know is in my memory, i just can't piece it together unless i review first. There was a girl next to me who was complaining about how the ONLY C she got was in organic 2...and she was going to take it again. I wanted to slap her, and i suddenly felt very panicy and ill. I came home, ate dinner, and threw it up an hour later. To be honest, i am scared shitless about this test. My entire future will be determined by a single 8 hour long grueling marathon of Physics, Biology, Chem, Organic chem, verbal reasoning, and writing. I know i have a full 12 weeks and this course will help me, but i can't help think what if i don't get in. what if.
There are many faces of me, as many of you know. One feels like shes in a straight jacket, in a white padded room with nothing to face but her own demons and screaming to be let out. Another face is all business. She's emotionless about everything and worries only about what needs to be done to get ahead of the rat race. Her life is filled with meetings, telephone conferences, meaningless sex to fill a void she won't admitt to, nice clothes and peticures specifically to give off a good impression. Another is a slacker who sometimes worries she hasn't done enough, but in the end is always surprised when she's more ahead than she thinks. I don't like to think of my entire psyche as this simple, only being divided into three section, but they feel the most predominant lately.
Last night the crazy one, who panics easily took over. This morning i woke up, mentally slapped myself across the face and told myself to grow some balls. My life shall be determined by one test, and therefor i shall own the shit out of it. I can do this. It's just like training for a marathon...the first few days are always the hardest, but it gets easier little by little.
High note : I'm wearing a cute outfit today and Diana totally made my day by telling me i looked "very Jacky O." =)
Note to self : Never go to the FSU Book store again, its not worth running into kyle. Apparently he's working there again. I'm a bit proud of myself, i saw him from far away and just left. This is one semester that i will not let him fuck over for me.