"men are shit"
Everyone get ready to do the "told ay so" dance to Blake's face about Trueman. Yep, turned out just like the rest of them. No need for details, but i've noticed that i just don't care anymore. After John and Kyle round 3 this fall i had all but given up hope of ever finding a decent, unique, cute guy who (by some miracle) that would want, on his own, to be with me and just me. What a fucking concept, right? Well after Friday night its all over. No hope.
I've been keeping really busy with sheesha, salsa dancing and pirate shindigs over the past few days, but every time i look in the mirror i don't see me. I know that according to the laws of how the world works that i am looking at myself, but it doesn't click im my brain that this is the woman who has been through everything that i have. Wierd.
Friday night was not good. I got dragged out to a Pirate party, and DID NOT DRINK (thats not why it wasn't good. i am very happy not drinking. i'm just making a point that i dont always drink)! I wasn't feeling the happiest there though. At first i was basically the only pirate there, then a few showed up. But i wasn't too into being social that night. Ross told me i could go see him, and so he came to pick me up. We hung out with him and his room mate talking about how men are shit. Then things got even worse. Not only did i get dumped that night from out of nowhere, but then i had my ex from 3 years ago ask me if i wanted to try dating with him again. This was at 4 am and i was so tired that i was randomly losing consciouness. This was the low point where i wanted to shoot myself in the face. Apparently Katie and Sarah had some odd experiences that night too. Hence, new rules for the girls
1. We go together, we leave together
2. When we trade phones, memorizing phone numbers is cheating
3. Pirate themed shindigs are a bad omen of shananigans to occur.
4. They should stay away from green stuff.
5. No staying out late when you have a 9 am meeting
6. Atlanta Bread Co. soothes the soul after any bad night.
Someone once told me that i would keep dating the exact same guy who would do the same things to me until i fixed myself. I thought this was different. guess not.
The one thing that kills me, is that when it was over i told him that i could have really loved him, and been the best thing that ever happened to him. he said "i know." Clearly, he doesn't.
My emotions are a funny thing. I tend to get very physical reactions when im upset. Last night i actually threw up cuz i was stressed and upset. no other reason but that. that hasn't happened since may with kyle. i called ross just to tell to him to give me time to sort out a lot of my shit then i migth get back to him. i won't though. Then, he mentioned marriage in a casual way. I then felt nausious and threw up again.
*sigh* no more. i can't do it. this time, i don't care how many roses, massages, late night coffees, deep conversations over sheesha, or cuddling a guy gives me...nothing can be enough to make me want to deal with any of this shit again. I can't keep doing this to myself.
Live Journal, Baby...you've been the only one loyal thing to me this whole time. *hugz* you are the best.
I've been keeping really busy with sheesha, salsa dancing and pirate shindigs over the past few days, but every time i look in the mirror i don't see me. I know that according to the laws of how the world works that i am looking at myself, but it doesn't click im my brain that this is the woman who has been through everything that i have. Wierd.
Friday night was not good. I got dragged out to a Pirate party, and DID NOT DRINK (thats not why it wasn't good. i am very happy not drinking. i'm just making a point that i dont always drink)! I wasn't feeling the happiest there though. At first i was basically the only pirate there, then a few showed up. But i wasn't too into being social that night. Ross told me i could go see him, and so he came to pick me up. We hung out with him and his room mate talking about how men are shit. Then things got even worse. Not only did i get dumped that night from out of nowhere, but then i had my ex from 3 years ago ask me if i wanted to try dating with him again. This was at 4 am and i was so tired that i was randomly losing consciouness. This was the low point where i wanted to shoot myself in the face. Apparently Katie and Sarah had some odd experiences that night too. Hence, new rules for the girls
1. We go together, we leave together
2. When we trade phones, memorizing phone numbers is cheating
3. Pirate themed shindigs are a bad omen of shananigans to occur.
4. They should stay away from green stuff.
5. No staying out late when you have a 9 am meeting
6. Atlanta Bread Co. soothes the soul after any bad night.
Someone once told me that i would keep dating the exact same guy who would do the same things to me until i fixed myself. I thought this was different. guess not.
The one thing that kills me, is that when it was over i told him that i could have really loved him, and been the best thing that ever happened to him. he said "i know." Clearly, he doesn't.
My emotions are a funny thing. I tend to get very physical reactions when im upset. Last night i actually threw up cuz i was stressed and upset. no other reason but that. that hasn't happened since may with kyle. i called ross just to tell to him to give me time to sort out a lot of my shit then i migth get back to him. i won't though. Then, he mentioned marriage in a casual way. I then felt nausious and threw up again.
*sigh* no more. i can't do it. this time, i don't care how many roses, massages, late night coffees, deep conversations over sheesha, or cuddling a guy gives me...nothing can be enough to make me want to deal with any of this shit again. I can't keep doing this to myself.
Live Journal, Baby...you've been the only one loyal thing to me this whole time. *hugz* you are the best.