(no subject)
It's 4 am and i did something stupid. I IMed the one man that might be able to explain the link between the serious men in my life who lie to me and all leaving me for something. kyle.
he said i didn't deserve anything he has ever hurt me with, and he appologized for everything my father, Ross, he and JP ever did to me. I cried my eyes out at that. 2 years, 4 months and 3 weeks.....and he finally tells me what i needed to hear this whole time to make me not feel like i earned every heartache he ever gave me.
I was feeling like there was a shield around me of icky badness until thursday night. Feels like im breaking through to just me again. Yeah...just me.
Call me a masocist but sometimes i love a good cry where is feels like my world is just so grim. Cuz i reminds me of how happy i normally am with the life i've made for myself and gives me a chance to feel good on the climb back up to normality
Nice thought i've had for the past 24 hours : kissing someone who you haven't in a long time and finding they are even better than you remember =)
(if any of you even think i am talking about kyle you couldn't be farther from the truth)
...thanks marcus, i owe you a drink at Clydes when i turn 21. hehehe.
he said i didn't deserve anything he has ever hurt me with, and he appologized for everything my father, Ross, he and JP ever did to me. I cried my eyes out at that. 2 years, 4 months and 3 weeks.....and he finally tells me what i needed to hear this whole time to make me not feel like i earned every heartache he ever gave me.
I was feeling like there was a shield around me of icky badness until thursday night. Feels like im breaking through to just me again. Yeah...just me.
Call me a masocist but sometimes i love a good cry where is feels like my world is just so grim. Cuz i reminds me of how happy i normally am with the life i've made for myself and gives me a chance to feel good on the climb back up to normality
Nice thought i've had for the past 24 hours : kissing someone who you haven't in a long time and finding they are even better than you remember =)
(if any of you even think i am talking about kyle you couldn't be farther from the truth)
...thanks marcus, i owe you a drink at Clydes when i turn 21. hehehe.