(no subject)
I should be cleaning right now but here I sit. The dishes,the laundry, the floors, they are all calling my name. I think I saw a pair of dirty socks trying to put themselves in the washer and yep here I sit.
I cut my trip off early and came in from Alabama on Friday. I was delivered a major blow but you know me I smiled and rolled with lifes punches. Saturday, I was on very shaky ground emotionally. And yep the second blow came out of nowhere, I about lost it. I never saw it coming.
Nine days ago I statred a new birth control pill, People they are seriously fucking me up. I am an emotional basketcase. My boobs are so sore that I may go into shock. I really think I am not going to be able to take these pills. How long do you have to give it for things to straighten out before you know you need some other kind?
I am a wimp. I know what I need to do with my life but I can't do it. I know the words that should be said but I can't say them. I have never been able to hurt other people. I can torture the shit out of myself though,,,,, that has never been an issue. Somebody please come kick my ass. I feel the need for some serious physical pain. I need an outword excuse for my inner funk. I used to be so good at being able to smile and pretend here...meaning here at home.... now I just can't even do that anymore. I go to class tomorrow. YEAH! CLASS! something I have to make myself do. something that takes away the time to dwell on what is wrong with life. Mental clarity sucks goat balls. the end.
I cut my trip off early and came in from Alabama on Friday. I was delivered a major blow but you know me I smiled and rolled with lifes punches. Saturday, I was on very shaky ground emotionally. And yep the second blow came out of nowhere, I about lost it. I never saw it coming.
Nine days ago I statred a new birth control pill, People they are seriously fucking me up. I am an emotional basketcase. My boobs are so sore that I may go into shock. I really think I am not going to be able to take these pills. How long do you have to give it for things to straighten out before you know you need some other kind?
I am a wimp. I know what I need to do with my life but I can't do it. I know the words that should be said but I can't say them. I have never been able to hurt other people. I can torture the shit out of myself though,,,,, that has never been an issue. Somebody please come kick my ass. I feel the need for some serious physical pain. I need an outword excuse for my inner funk. I used to be so good at being able to smile and pretend here...meaning here at home.... now I just can't even do that anymore. I go to class tomorrow. YEAH! CLASS! something I have to make myself do. something that takes away the time to dwell on what is wrong with life. Mental clarity sucks goat balls. the end.