(no subject)
as you pronounced our fate last night, we were drinking and amidst the tears i held back and the too-sweet cider, i just accepted the sentence. there's just nothing much left to fight for anymore. and i told you as a sort-of comfort that we'll lose everyone eventually somehow, be it through death, distance or this kind of bittersweet goodbyes. as if that makes anything better.
sadness is reserved for the young, those who still have the energy and the belief to fight internally against the outcome.
as for me, i'm worn. i don't know what to fight for anymore and there is nothing left for me but to trudge on ahead. hating every single
minute of this circumstance, hating my internal wars, hating 2011, hating this fight, hating my love, hating my head, hating the hope and the wait and most of all, hating the disappointment that almost always follows everything i have led my heart to love. my family, my friends, my studies, you, etc.
i think the lesson for me here is "walk by faith and not by sight"
sadness is reserved for the young, those who still have the energy and the belief to fight internally against the outcome.
as for me, i'm worn. i don't know what to fight for anymore and there is nothing left for me but to trudge on ahead. hating every single
minute of this circumstance, hating my internal wars, hating 2011, hating this fight, hating my love, hating my head, hating the hope and the wait and most of all, hating the disappointment that almost always follows everything i have led my heart to love. my family, my friends, my studies, you, etc.
i think the lesson for me here is "walk by faith and not by sight"