Flaunt it.
I realized how warped a view these writings give of me. In person I am really a very silly/”light-hearted” person. I am that tall girl who makes all the jokes. Who smiles all the time. This seems like an okay thing to be, but sometimes I feel trapped. Like it’s not okay for me to be sad. Like I’m supposed to bring everyone else laughter but when I fall there is no one to catch me. Sometimes I just don’t have anything to laugh at. Sometimes I just don’t have anything. And my friends, they don’t understand me, and I’ve given up hope that they ever will. Because I don’t know how to tell them that I hurt so bad all the time. I don’t know how to explain all the things I've done. And even if I did tell them, I’m not entirely sure they would care.
So tonight, I don’t want to be happy for other people. I don’t want to be happy at all. I want to have someone tell me something, and I want it to be meaningful. I want a hand on my shoulder and some silence, so maybe I could start. Start saying out loud all the things I keep inside. All the things that hide behind my goofy smile and dull eyes.
So tonight, I don’t want to be happy for other people. I don’t want to be happy at all. I want to have someone tell me something, and I want it to be meaningful. I want a hand on my shoulder and some silence, so maybe I could start. Start saying out loud all the things I keep inside. All the things that hide behind my goofy smile and dull eyes.