Out of Order
- Got out of GA / was taken away from before ready? Too soon to be sure
- Was used as a moneypig by significant other - yet made to feel guilty for all the money, and the car he'd lost of his own free will/actions
- Was told was not working hard enough, doing enough, when was only person in household doing any real, substantial work
- When shell-shocked by all the crazyness, was told was not being helpful, was given no real comfort
- Was used for sex when was uncomfortable, as was feeling obligated to contribute and make happy via bodily means
- Took care of self, two kittens, and significant other, and SO's friends... and it wasn't enough
- Made sure there was shelter when shelter was threatened, as SO could not, for some reason
- ... SO did do their best, in keeping one safe from coke/hallucinogen-head. But was in that Apt in the first place, because SO could not find a better place in a month+. This place had been found in a desperate 2 days by one.
- Ended up stranded at SO's parents house
- Became pregnant. Wanted to terminate. Held off decision to see if SO could show how he'd pull through...
- Officially decided on termination. Was guilted. Was told of how monsterous. Was visited on by cruel words and actions..... which, obviously, did not change ones mind about what needed to be done
- At own mothers house. Terminated yesterday. Angry for having willingly adhered to manipulation and nonsense, for having wasted much time and effort on thankless, cruel, people. For having made life, and needing to take it away.
One has only ever wanted to be a mother. But not with that SO after true colors shown, not in a lifetime... desperately sad that, the ones she could find comfort in at this time, were unavailable. Desperately sad... but hopeful. Stupidly hopeful and at peace. Maybe it's the hormones still.
- Have however learned much about oneself due to such folly.
- Have yet to truly grow up
- Will likely marry a woman, if marry at all
- want to pursue job market for esthetics, cosmetology, etc... art on the side
- No longer care what is though of her. Knows she is decent enough, and that life is meant to be lived happily... not as someone else's unquestioning worshipper.... not as what you think others want of you.
- Well... still cares. But not so much as to hobble.
- Was used as a moneypig by significant other - yet made to feel guilty for all the money, and the car he'd lost of his own free will/actions
- Was told was not working hard enough, doing enough, when was only person in household doing any real, substantial work
- When shell-shocked by all the crazyness, was told was not being helpful, was given no real comfort
- Was used for sex when was uncomfortable, as was feeling obligated to contribute and make happy via bodily means
- Took care of self, two kittens, and significant other, and SO's friends... and it wasn't enough
- Made sure there was shelter when shelter was threatened, as SO could not, for some reason
- ... SO did do their best, in keeping one safe from coke/hallucinogen-head. But was in that Apt in the first place, because SO could not find a better place in a month+. This place had been found in a desperate 2 days by one.
- Ended up stranded at SO's parents house
- Became pregnant. Wanted to terminate. Held off decision to see if SO could show how he'd pull through...
- Officially decided on termination. Was guilted. Was told of how monsterous. Was visited on by cruel words and actions..... which, obviously, did not change ones mind about what needed to be done
- At own mothers house. Terminated yesterday. Angry for having willingly adhered to manipulation and nonsense, for having wasted much time and effort on thankless, cruel, people. For having made life, and needing to take it away.
One has only ever wanted to be a mother. But not with that SO after true colors shown, not in a lifetime... desperately sad that, the ones she could find comfort in at this time, were unavailable. Desperately sad... but hopeful. Stupidly hopeful and at peace. Maybe it's the hormones still.
- Have however learned much about oneself due to such folly.
- Have yet to truly grow up
- Will likely marry a woman, if marry at all
- want to pursue job market for esthetics, cosmetology, etc... art on the side
- No longer care what is though of her. Knows she is decent enough, and that life is meant to be lived happily... not as someone else's unquestioning worshipper.... not as what you think others want of you.
- Well... still cares. But not so much as to hobble.