Again, help... as I work things out.... aka... Confessions of a U2 junkie...
There are times that irrational desire borders on insanity. I assume, simply given the meaning of the words, that there always exists a very fine line between the two.
I had a glimmering opportunity for a face-value U2 Rose Bowl GA ticket a few days ago and I passed. I was logical and I told myself that after Phoenix, I would be ready to go home. That this leg would be done for me and I'd be fine with that.
After Norman, something was pushing me. It didn't feel irrational at all. In fact it just felt entirely RIGHT that I should have this burning desire to go to Vancouver. Vancouver over LA? I don't know, but I went with it. I tossed it out there...
Hey, is anyone we know doing Vancouver?
I didn't expect much, just a shake of heads, perhaps an I think so-and-so, you know the one? is going. That is not what I got. An actual friend, someone who I really genuinely enjoy spending time with and always get a good vibe from piped up and offered an almost sheepish...
I'm going.
And then there was an added, very quiet invitation, or an opening at least, to join in. All I had to do was get a ticket and make air arrangements and I was good to go.
Surely, it was madness and I wasn't thinking straight. Look where post-Chicago2 ecstasy had landed me... Norman, OK... on my way to Phoenix, AZ. Yet, in the Oklahoma City airport, when I was texting another friend that I thought I'd go to Vancouver, I looked up and saw a man wearing a bold 'Canada' sweatshirt. I can't make this shit up. To me it was a sign.
Once I got to the desert and saw more friends, I was still adamant that I was NOT going to Vegas [and I am not in Vegas] and I was NOT going to LA. I was however in the market for a Vancouver ticket. I clung to the belief that in spite of the fact that I found out the band are filming in LA, I was okay with not being there. It was going to be a fucking mad-house and while I'd never turn down a U2 concert given reasonable circumstances, this was something for some reason I'd been shying away from. Call it instinct. I was reassured by many that a Vancouver ticket wouldn't be an issue if I really wanted to go. So, I beamed through Phoenix [as intense as that show was] and knew it wasn't my last.
When I was gathering things to pack up, at far too late/early in the night/morning, and trying to sort out bills at the end, I simply got a wave and a quiet offer that we could settle up in Canada. This cemented the idea that I was going... to Vancouver. JUST Vancouver, mind, and not so much as a second thought to the other shows.
But when I came back here, home only minutes, I had a text that there was an LA GA out there, and appetite was once more whetted. I think it fell through, never heard back about it and now here I sit with less than twelve hours before I'd have to fly. American Airlines requires a purchase with frequent flier miles [of which I have enough thanks to this tour for a one way] at least two hours... only two hours?... before departure. I also have on the horizon the possibility of a 'reasonably' priced GA once again floating in front of me... like a fucking steak to one of Pavlov's dogs.
I've been back and forth on this for two days. Part of me says to jump on that plane at 9am and just go for it. Follow the music with my hair on fire or at least a fire in my soul. A friend whispered ... these are the memories of your life... and he's the one who'd have to take over and watch the house and the four-legs for five nights. Profound wisdom when he could've just said he could only spare two nights with the dogs, cat and rabbit... fair enough after just spending four here last week... And that leads me to the other part of me, the one who put laundry in just a few minutes ago, because it's a 'task' that could help settle my nerves, a part that's now sat here typing away and watching the puppies play while the older girls snuggle in around their mam, so happy to have home and heart together again. That part says... go to Canada. Relax for the weekend, stay home, watch the one concert that'll be broadcast in its entirety on 'the Utube' and available on dvd later... Be content with that and finish out in Canada, relieved of stress, with a happy, orderly home to return to once it's done... done for a while, anyway.
So where the hell do I go from here?
[other than rehab!]
I had a glimmering opportunity for a face-value U2 Rose Bowl GA ticket a few days ago and I passed. I was logical and I told myself that after Phoenix, I would be ready to go home. That this leg would be done for me and I'd be fine with that.
After Norman, something was pushing me. It didn't feel irrational at all. In fact it just felt entirely RIGHT that I should have this burning desire to go to Vancouver. Vancouver over LA? I don't know, but I went with it. I tossed it out there...
Hey, is anyone we know doing Vancouver?
I didn't expect much, just a shake of heads, perhaps an I think so-and-so, you know the one? is going. That is not what I got. An actual friend, someone who I really genuinely enjoy spending time with and always get a good vibe from piped up and offered an almost sheepish...
I'm going.
And then there was an added, very quiet invitation, or an opening at least, to join in. All I had to do was get a ticket and make air arrangements and I was good to go.
Surely, it was madness and I wasn't thinking straight. Look where post-Chicago2 ecstasy had landed me... Norman, OK... on my way to Phoenix, AZ. Yet, in the Oklahoma City airport, when I was texting another friend that I thought I'd go to Vancouver, I looked up and saw a man wearing a bold 'Canada' sweatshirt. I can't make this shit up. To me it was a sign.
Once I got to the desert and saw more friends, I was still adamant that I was NOT going to Vegas [and I am not in Vegas] and I was NOT going to LA. I was however in the market for a Vancouver ticket. I clung to the belief that in spite of the fact that I found out the band are filming in LA, I was okay with not being there. It was going to be a fucking mad-house and while I'd never turn down a U2 concert given reasonable circumstances, this was something for some reason I'd been shying away from. Call it instinct. I was reassured by many that a Vancouver ticket wouldn't be an issue if I really wanted to go. So, I beamed through Phoenix [as intense as that show was] and knew it wasn't my last.
When I was gathering things to pack up, at far too late/early in the night/morning, and trying to sort out bills at the end, I simply got a wave and a quiet offer that we could settle up in Canada. This cemented the idea that I was going... to Vancouver. JUST Vancouver, mind, and not so much as a second thought to the other shows.
But when I came back here, home only minutes, I had a text that there was an LA GA out there, and appetite was once more whetted. I think it fell through, never heard back about it and now here I sit with less than twelve hours before I'd have to fly. American Airlines requires a purchase with frequent flier miles [of which I have enough thanks to this tour for a one way] at least two hours... only two hours?... before departure. I also have on the horizon the possibility of a 'reasonably' priced GA once again floating in front of me... like a fucking steak to one of Pavlov's dogs.
I've been back and forth on this for two days. Part of me says to jump on that plane at 9am and just go for it. Follow the music with my hair on fire or at least a fire in my soul. A friend whispered ... these are the memories of your life... and he's the one who'd have to take over and watch the house and the four-legs for five nights. Profound wisdom when he could've just said he could only spare two nights with the dogs, cat and rabbit... fair enough after just spending four here last week... And that leads me to the other part of me, the one who put laundry in just a few minutes ago, because it's a 'task' that could help settle my nerves, a part that's now sat here typing away and watching the puppies play while the older girls snuggle in around their mam, so happy to have home and heart together again. That part says... go to Canada. Relax for the weekend, stay home, watch the one concert that'll be broadcast in its entirety on 'the Utube' and available on dvd later... Be content with that and finish out in Canada, relieved of stress, with a happy, orderly home to return to once it's done... done for a while, anyway.
So where the hell do I go from here?
[other than rehab!]