I am as constant as a northern star/i said, constantly in the darkness/where's that at
so i sit here, again, reconsidering my friendships. i guess it is good to take stock every once in a while. honestly, i'm really sick of jamie bitching about akpsi. it makes me happy. its not your "typical" frat, and i'm happy. i really enjoy a majority of the people in it, which i usually can't say about any large group of people. i haven't changed at all. i'm not trying to be something i'm not to impress them. yea, i'm busy but its nice breaking out of the usual gainesville-party-study rut. but whatev.
i want to hate him. i really do. and i kind of do. i'm bitter. i'm angry. i'm hurt. i'm in disbelief. i've had friendships that have drifted apart before, but i've never had to tell anyone "we cant be friends anymore." im proud that i stood up for myself and what was healthy for me, but i'd be lying if i didnt say i dont still check his facebook or away message from time to tiime and wonder if any of that is reciprocated. i'm new to this whole cutting people off thing. i think of someting and i know he'd be the perfect audience, but alas. but i must stand fast by what i said. even if he apologized, i dont know if i could ever fully forgive him. idk. time heals all wounds, right? once upon a time, i never saw myself forgiving my father. or maybe i'm just a vindictive bitch. maybe i just want him to let me back in so i break his heart. so i can be secretly nefarious and sly. tear his world down and piss on it. maybe i want to flaunt like he did with margarita. not that there is anything worth mentioning between matt and i? i dont think? whatever, i've got too much to overanalyze without thinking of that too. i'd like to think i'm more mature than that, but who knows.
nick is never around. neither is ernie.
and just when i think that all my friends suck, just when i begin to wonder if people still give damn, ashley calls me out of the blue. "just making sure you were ok" i love that girl, and i love that she puts up with my unorganized, never-on-time, ass. she's the bestest pal a gal could ask for. so with that, i sit here with a smile on my face. sometimes you just need some reminding.
Yes I heard all that you had to say
That's when it all fell apart
Might be hated, but I can't pretend
I liked you better before
So long, so long, front foot leads the back one
Go on and it won't be too soon
I'm gone, I'm gone and on to the next one
So long, and I won't be back soon
Yes I'm blue, but from holding my breath
Like I have from the start
I'm the villain and I should confess
I liked you better before
So long, so long and on to the next one
Go on and it won't be too soon
I'm gone, I'm gone, bet you saw this one comin?
So long and I won't be back soon
It's hateful to say, see it this way
Don't even know who you are
But in my defense I'd do it again
I don't need to know who you are
So long, so long and on to the next one
Go on and it won't be too soon
You're gone, you're gone, are you waiting for somethin?
Go on cause I won't be back soon
It's hateful to say, see it this way
Don't even know who you are
But in my defense I'd do it again
I don't need to know who you are
So long, so long, front foot leads the back one
Go on and it won't be too soon
You're lost and gone and on to the next one
Don't need to know who you are
Don't need to know who you are
i want to hate him. i really do. and i kind of do. i'm bitter. i'm angry. i'm hurt. i'm in disbelief. i've had friendships that have drifted apart before, but i've never had to tell anyone "we cant be friends anymore." im proud that i stood up for myself and what was healthy for me, but i'd be lying if i didnt say i dont still check his facebook or away message from time to tiime and wonder if any of that is reciprocated. i'm new to this whole cutting people off thing. i think of someting and i know he'd be the perfect audience, but alas. but i must stand fast by what i said. even if he apologized, i dont know if i could ever fully forgive him. idk. time heals all wounds, right? once upon a time, i never saw myself forgiving my father. or maybe i'm just a vindictive bitch. maybe i just want him to let me back in so i break his heart. so i can be secretly nefarious and sly. tear his world down and piss on it. maybe i want to flaunt like he did with margarita. not that there is anything worth mentioning between matt and i? i dont think? whatever, i've got too much to overanalyze without thinking of that too. i'd like to think i'm more mature than that, but who knows.
nick is never around. neither is ernie.
and just when i think that all my friends suck, just when i begin to wonder if people still give damn, ashley calls me out of the blue. "just making sure you were ok" i love that girl, and i love that she puts up with my unorganized, never-on-time, ass. she's the bestest pal a gal could ask for. so with that, i sit here with a smile on my face. sometimes you just need some reminding.
Yes I heard all that you had to say
That's when it all fell apart
Might be hated, but I can't pretend
I liked you better before
So long, so long, front foot leads the back one
Go on and it won't be too soon
I'm gone, I'm gone and on to the next one
So long, and I won't be back soon
Yes I'm blue, but from holding my breath
Like I have from the start
I'm the villain and I should confess
I liked you better before
So long, so long and on to the next one
Go on and it won't be too soon
I'm gone, I'm gone, bet you saw this one comin?
So long and I won't be back soon
It's hateful to say, see it this way
Don't even know who you are
But in my defense I'd do it again
I don't need to know who you are
So long, so long and on to the next one
Go on and it won't be too soon
You're gone, you're gone, are you waiting for somethin?
Go on cause I won't be back soon
It's hateful to say, see it this way
Don't even know who you are
But in my defense I'd do it again
I don't need to know who you are
So long, so long, front foot leads the back one
Go on and it won't be too soon
You're lost and gone and on to the next one
Don't need to know who you are
Don't need to know who you are