kiss me where it hurts.

Dec 10, 2006 00:15

It's funny really, how easily my life falls apart with these little problems. A minor problem here and there and all the threads unravel so quickly. I'm spinning and weaving my ties carelessly as I go along. I should try to establish myself, to root myself in areas where they will not fall through as swiftly as they do. I'm trying as hard as possible to gather my sanity, but the marbles are slipping through my fingertips...

While i'm falling I keep hoping that there will be hands to help me up. I say that I don't need help, but i think I need others more than words let me express. I wrote these emails to an imaginary boy. I secretly asked for his help, but he wasn't there for me, he wasn't for me. He wanted things I couldn't give him, he needed a person I couldn't be. I don't even know who i can be and to whom I will be it to. I was just not her to him. And it has been a heartbreaking adventure for the past month.

As I am picking up my fallen marbles, as i ususally do, I have started to question the consequences of my actions; my plummeting grades, my defeated love life, and my growing unhappiness with myself. I am rummaging through my marbles to help me answer my questions, but not quickly enough before they all begin to fall again... He tells me that this cycle needs to stop...

Where do I start?
Previous post Next post
Up