My ending.....
Well I thought it was good enough to leave it as a small paragraph saying our friendship ended, apparently not. The only thing I would completely agree with was this paragraph:
"I actually feel sorry for her now. I've come to realize that she has to lie to people to test them, because she doesn't trust anyone, and maybe she never will. Trust is a very precious thing, and at some point, long ago, someone stole that very thing from her. I am sorry in the fact that I obviously failed her; not as a friend, because I was there through everything I could be. But I failed in showing her the good in people; the fact that people shouldn't be tested in friendship; the fact that if you ever want to find true friendship, you have to hand yourself over completely, and not show a different act of the show to different audiences."
Yes this is very true, I did lose it a long time ago, most people know when and how. Nothing and no one has proven that there are good people that I can trust to a fault who will be there through EVERYTHING. There are four names floating in my head that I would trust and I would never lie to. Four out of how many? That I know would never do anything out of malice, out of inflamed hormones, to cause permanent damage. You’re right you certainly didn’t show me the good in people.
“why couldn't you have stayed calm for once, / instead of flying off the handle! / I hope you're happy how you / Hurt your cause forever / I hope you think you're clever! / I hope you're proud how you / Would grovel in submission / To feed your own ambition / So though I can't imagine how / I hope you're happy right now / Too long I've been afraid of / Losing love I guess I've lost / Well, if that's love / It comes at much too high a cost!”
“They say I'm crazy / I really don't care / They say I'm nasty / But I don't give a damn / But they don't understand me / I really don't know the deal about my sister / Not long ago / Before I won this fight / Everybody's talking all this stuff about me / Why don't they just let me live? / I don't need permission, make my own decisions / That's my prerogative / It's the way that I wanna live / You can't tell me what to do”
“Tell me how it feels to be / The one who turns the knife inside of me / Take a look and you will find theres nothing there girl / Yeah I swear, Im telling you girl yeah cause / Theres a hole in my soul thats been killing me forever / Its a place where a garden never grows / Theres a hole in my soul, yeah I should have known better / cause your loves like a thorn without a rose”
“How bout me not blaming you for everything / how bout me enjoying the moment for once / how bout how good it feels to finally forgive you / how bout grieving it all one at a time”
“that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down / that I would be loved even when I numb myself / that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed / that I would be loved even when I was fuming / that I would be good / whether with or without you”
“We'll fast forward to a few years later / And no one knows except the both of us / I've more than honored your request for silence / And you've washed your hands clean of this / What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept? / What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget? / What with this distance it seems so obvious?”
“Think of me / think of me fondly, / when we've said goodbye. / Remember me/ once in a while - please promise me / you'll try. / We never said our love was evergreen, / or as unchanging as the sea - / but if you can still / remember stop and think of me . . . / Think of all the things / we've shared and seen - don't think about the things / which might have been . . .”
“Never, saw it coming / All of, your backstabbing / I heard, you're going around / Playing, the victim now / But don't, even begin / Feeling I'm the one to blame / 'Cause you dug your own grave / After all of the fights and the lies / Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore / 'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture / I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down / So I wanna say thank you”
“I'm wishin' you the best, / Pray that you are blessed, / Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness, / (I'm better than that) / I'm not gonna blast you on the radio, / (I'm better than that) / I'm not gonna compromise my Christianity, / (I'm better than that) / You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet / Cause my momma taught me better than that”
Your heart is not open so I must go / The spell has been broken, I loved you so / Freedom comes when you learn to let go / Creation comes when you learn to say no / You were my lesson I had to learn / I was your fortress you had to burn / Pain is a warning that something's wrong /There's nothing left to try / There's no place left to hide / There's no greater power / Than the power of good-bye”
"I've heard it said / That people come into our lives for a reason/Bringing something we must learn/And we are led/To those who help us most to grow/If we let them/And we help them in return/Well, I don't know if I believe that's true/But I know I'm who I am today/Because I knew you. / It well may be/That we will never meet again/In this lifetime / So let me say before we part/So much of me/Is made of what I learned from / And now whatever way our stories end/I know you have re-written mine/By being my friend. / And just to clear the air/I ask forgiveness/For the things I've done you blame me for/But then, I guess we know/There's blame to share/And none of it seems to matter anymore. Because I knew you:/I have been changed for good."
"I actually feel sorry for her now. I've come to realize that she has to lie to people to test them, because she doesn't trust anyone, and maybe she never will. Trust is a very precious thing, and at some point, long ago, someone stole that very thing from her. I am sorry in the fact that I obviously failed her; not as a friend, because I was there through everything I could be. But I failed in showing her the good in people; the fact that people shouldn't be tested in friendship; the fact that if you ever want to find true friendship, you have to hand yourself over completely, and not show a different act of the show to different audiences."
Yes this is very true, I did lose it a long time ago, most people know when and how. Nothing and no one has proven that there are good people that I can trust to a fault who will be there through EVERYTHING. There are four names floating in my head that I would trust and I would never lie to. Four out of how many? That I know would never do anything out of malice, out of inflamed hormones, to cause permanent damage. You’re right you certainly didn’t show me the good in people.
“why couldn't you have stayed calm for once, / instead of flying off the handle! / I hope you're happy how you / Hurt your cause forever / I hope you think you're clever! / I hope you're proud how you / Would grovel in submission / To feed your own ambition / So though I can't imagine how / I hope you're happy right now / Too long I've been afraid of / Losing love I guess I've lost / Well, if that's love / It comes at much too high a cost!”
“They say I'm crazy / I really don't care / They say I'm nasty / But I don't give a damn / But they don't understand me / I really don't know the deal about my sister / Not long ago / Before I won this fight / Everybody's talking all this stuff about me / Why don't they just let me live? / I don't need permission, make my own decisions / That's my prerogative / It's the way that I wanna live / You can't tell me what to do”
“Tell me how it feels to be / The one who turns the knife inside of me / Take a look and you will find theres nothing there girl / Yeah I swear, Im telling you girl yeah cause / Theres a hole in my soul thats been killing me forever / Its a place where a garden never grows / Theres a hole in my soul, yeah I should have known better / cause your loves like a thorn without a rose”
“How bout me not blaming you for everything / how bout me enjoying the moment for once / how bout how good it feels to finally forgive you / how bout grieving it all one at a time”
“that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down / that I would be loved even when I numb myself / that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed / that I would be loved even when I was fuming / that I would be good / whether with or without you”
“We'll fast forward to a few years later / And no one knows except the both of us / I've more than honored your request for silence / And you've washed your hands clean of this / What part of our history's reinvented and under rug swept? / What part of your memory is selective and tends to forget? / What with this distance it seems so obvious?”
“Think of me / think of me fondly, / when we've said goodbye. / Remember me/ once in a while - please promise me / you'll try. / We never said our love was evergreen, / or as unchanging as the sea - / but if you can still / remember stop and think of me . . . / Think of all the things / we've shared and seen - don't think about the things / which might have been . . .”
“Never, saw it coming / All of, your backstabbing / I heard, you're going around / Playing, the victim now / But don't, even begin / Feeling I'm the one to blame / 'Cause you dug your own grave / After all of the fights and the lies / Yes you wanted to harm me but that won't work anymore / 'Cause if it wasn't for all of your torture / I wouldn't know how to be this way now, and never back down / So I wanna say thank you”
“I'm wishin' you the best, / Pray that you are blessed, / Much success, no stress, and lots of happiness, / (I'm better than that) / I'm not gonna blast you on the radio, / (I'm better than that) / I'm not gonna compromise my Christianity, / (I'm better than that) / You know I'm not gonna diss you on the Internet / Cause my momma taught me better than that”
Your heart is not open so I must go / The spell has been broken, I loved you so / Freedom comes when you learn to let go / Creation comes when you learn to say no / You were my lesson I had to learn / I was your fortress you had to burn / Pain is a warning that something's wrong /There's nothing left to try / There's no place left to hide / There's no greater power / Than the power of good-bye”
"I've heard it said / That people come into our lives for a reason/Bringing something we must learn/And we are led/To those who help us most to grow/If we let them/And we help them in return/Well, I don't know if I believe that's true/But I know I'm who I am today/Because I knew you. / It well may be/That we will never meet again/In this lifetime / So let me say before we part/So much of me/Is made of what I learned from / And now whatever way our stories end/I know you have re-written mine/By being my friend. / And just to clear the air/I ask forgiveness/For the things I've done you blame me for/But then, I guess we know/There's blame to share/And none of it seems to matter anymore. Because I knew you:/I have been changed for good."