Welcome to your life (written last night/this morning)
This is not one of the rants I had planned to write. No. This is a whole 'nother game.
There's no turning back
So. Yester morning, Sam did something that was completely dumbass.
I had set my computer to print a lengthy report (thus it was in queue... why the fuck do we need all those extra vowels?!) and headed over to Walgreens with Brett to get him some antihistamines and cortisone cream. I closed the door to my den to keep the dog out.
When I arrived home, the den door was open... and a porn magazine which I'd confiscated from the boys a while ago was lying on top of the freshly-printed documents. Said magazine was literally nowhere near the printer. I immediately knew Sam had been in my den. He was the only possible culprit.
"Sam, why were you in the den?"
"I went in to look and see if you were home... I thought I heard your car."
*waves magazine* "Why was this on top of the printer?"
*Sam goes into violent denials the likes of which would fit right in in the White House*
Basically he lied to me, with no remorse and not even the respect enough to make up a PLAUSIBLE lie.
So that was one of the first things yesterday. I only mention it because it directly affected things last night.
***************************
Even while you sleep, we will find you
I left the office about 6:10. I met Cindy in Ankeny so I could get the paychecks from her. We talked for a few minutes, made plans to work together this week (whether she follows through on that remains to be seen) and I headed to get Girlchick. She had had zero sleep the night before, and needed to drop off her laptop at Best Buy on the south side.
So we did that. And went to t-mobile to ask about getting insurance on my Sidekick (no, only within 14 days of getting the phone, terribly sorry). And I bought her dinner (such nutrition! Taco John's!) before I drove her back home. She had been up for well over 36 hours by then, and was starting to get that stoned sort of zoned out by the time we were halfway home. "I wonder if this is what it's like to be on drugs," she said. "Yep," I answered.
****************************************************
Acting on your best behavior, turn your back on Mother Nature
Brett had messaged me about 2:30. He wanted to know if it was ok if he went to the fair with Gage, Gage's mother and girlfriend, and Gage's father. Gage is the kid Brett used to live with. Gage has History, but I won't delve into THAT tonight.
I said he might go, but needed to be home by 9.
Well, come 9, I was sitting at Southridge eating Potato Oles with extra seasoning... and Brett was at Gage's dad's house, as evinced by his email to me via two-way pager.
I was initially pissed the fuck off at Brett, because... well, in the end, I hold the boys responsible for their own whereabouts. I expect them to tell any adults they are with exactly when they are expected home. And I expect said adults to be responsible enough to follow through with getting the children in their care home at appropriate times.
*pauses for hysterical laughter*
Well. Brett finally arrived home at 10:40. And proceeded to tell me that Gage's mother and father were off doing God only knows what drugs whilst Gage and his girlfriend (both of whom are 15) smoked. Oh, and... Gage's mom and dad buy his cigarettes, did I mention that? No? Gee.
I told Brett he wasn't allowed to go ANYWHERE with Gage any longer. He said, "Thank you." He hadn't wanted to be there all night.
He did his chores, gave me a hug, said "I love you," and went to bed.
************************************
Everybody wants to rule the world
Lessee... what else?
Well. In order to pay the $390 that I will have to pay to register all three boys... I have to have Brett's sperm donor (who, it should be pointed out, has yet to pay penny one of child support since getting custody of the child in June) sign a form (and have it notarized) authorizing me to make educational decisions. Without said form, I have no legal power whatsoever. And despite state law mandating that children under a certain age be attending school... until I get that bastard's signature, Brett can't register for school. How messed up is THAT?
And, guess what? One of his phones is disconnected, and he hasn't returned any of three messages left for him elsewhere. *sigh*
****************************************************
It's my own design
it's my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world
So, then... I got home last night. I asked Sam WHY he had told me such a dumbass lie. His answer stunned me. "I'd rather take the chance that I'll get away with it than tell the truth and get in trouble for sure."
You see, I've told the boys since they were tiny that if they did something wrong, and 'fessed up to it, we'd deal with the consequences... but if they lied to me, the consequences would be FAR greater... and they'd lose my trust, which would have to be rebuilt.
So where the HELL is this stupid concept coming from? ALL of them are lying to me, and it's making my house NOT a fun place to be for me. I don't want to live in an atmosphere of lies. I had enough of that growing up.
*************************
There’s a room where the light won’t find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I’ll be right behind you
This morning, I'm better. But still thoughtful, and wondering...
There's no turning back
So. Yester morning, Sam did something that was completely dumbass.
I had set my computer to print a lengthy report (thus it was in queue... why the fuck do we need all those extra vowels?!) and headed over to Walgreens with Brett to get him some antihistamines and cortisone cream. I closed the door to my den to keep the dog out.
When I arrived home, the den door was open... and a porn magazine which I'd confiscated from the boys a while ago was lying on top of the freshly-printed documents. Said magazine was literally nowhere near the printer. I immediately knew Sam had been in my den. He was the only possible culprit.
"Sam, why were you in the den?"
"I went in to look and see if you were home... I thought I heard your car."
*waves magazine* "Why was this on top of the printer?"
*Sam goes into violent denials the likes of which would fit right in in the White House*
Basically he lied to me, with no remorse and not even the respect enough to make up a PLAUSIBLE lie.
So that was one of the first things yesterday. I only mention it because it directly affected things last night.
***************************
Even while you sleep, we will find you
I left the office about 6:10. I met Cindy in Ankeny so I could get the paychecks from her. We talked for a few minutes, made plans to work together this week (whether she follows through on that remains to be seen) and I headed to get Girlchick. She had had zero sleep the night before, and needed to drop off her laptop at Best Buy on the south side.
So we did that. And went to t-mobile to ask about getting insurance on my Sidekick (no, only within 14 days of getting the phone, terribly sorry). And I bought her dinner (such nutrition! Taco John's!) before I drove her back home. She had been up for well over 36 hours by then, and was starting to get that stoned sort of zoned out by the time we were halfway home. "I wonder if this is what it's like to be on drugs," she said. "Yep," I answered.
****************************************************
Acting on your best behavior, turn your back on Mother Nature
Brett had messaged me about 2:30. He wanted to know if it was ok if he went to the fair with Gage, Gage's mother and girlfriend, and Gage's father. Gage is the kid Brett used to live with. Gage has History, but I won't delve into THAT tonight.
I said he might go, but needed to be home by 9.
Well, come 9, I was sitting at Southridge eating Potato Oles with extra seasoning... and Brett was at Gage's dad's house, as evinced by his email to me via two-way pager.
I was initially pissed the fuck off at Brett, because... well, in the end, I hold the boys responsible for their own whereabouts. I expect them to tell any adults they are with exactly when they are expected home. And I expect said adults to be responsible enough to follow through with getting the children in their care home at appropriate times.
*pauses for hysterical laughter*
Well. Brett finally arrived home at 10:40. And proceeded to tell me that Gage's mother and father were off doing God only knows what drugs whilst Gage and his girlfriend (both of whom are 15) smoked. Oh, and... Gage's mom and dad buy his cigarettes, did I mention that? No? Gee.
I told Brett he wasn't allowed to go ANYWHERE with Gage any longer. He said, "Thank you." He hadn't wanted to be there all night.
He did his chores, gave me a hug, said "I love you," and went to bed.
************************************
Everybody wants to rule the world
Lessee... what else?
Well. In order to pay the $390 that I will have to pay to register all three boys... I have to have Brett's sperm donor (who, it should be pointed out, has yet to pay penny one of child support since getting custody of the child in June) sign a form (and have it notarized) authorizing me to make educational decisions. Without said form, I have no legal power whatsoever. And despite state law mandating that children under a certain age be attending school... until I get that bastard's signature, Brett can't register for school. How messed up is THAT?
And, guess what? One of his phones is disconnected, and he hasn't returned any of three messages left for him elsewhere. *sigh*
****************************************************
It's my own design
it's my own remorse
Help me to decide
Help me make the most
Of freedom and of pleasure
Nothing ever lasts forever
Everybody wants to rule the world
So, then... I got home last night. I asked Sam WHY he had told me such a dumbass lie. His answer stunned me. "I'd rather take the chance that I'll get away with it than tell the truth and get in trouble for sure."
You see, I've told the boys since they were tiny that if they did something wrong, and 'fessed up to it, we'd deal with the consequences... but if they lied to me, the consequences would be FAR greater... and they'd lose my trust, which would have to be rebuilt.
So where the HELL is this stupid concept coming from? ALL of them are lying to me, and it's making my house NOT a fun place to be for me. I don't want to live in an atmosphere of lies. I had enough of that growing up.
*************************
There’s a room where the light won’t find you
Holding hands while the walls come tumbling down
When they do I’ll be right behind you
This morning, I'm better. But still thoughtful, and wondering...