"Jake"
I am at peace, I think.
I don't know why he came back. I don't think he does either.
It must just be my incredibly magnetic personality. *weak grin*
He logged on and said he was coming down to take me to dinner.
And then, after he got ready to go... he started thinking. And thought better of it, eventually. He was worried about the effect on him, me, and everyone else involved.
He said that I was acting like he was trying to hurt me when his intentions were the opposite. And he didn't think I was being candid with myself... or with him, about how meeting would affect me.
prince_charming_iowa (7:08:44 PM): hi gretchen
gretl88 (7:08:53 PM): um
prince_charming_iowa (7:09:02 PM): should i not say hello?
prince_charming_iowa (7:09:06 PM): it's matt
gretl88 (7:09:09 PM): I know
prince_charming_iowa (7:09:15 PM): i know you know
prince_charming_iowa (7:09:23 PM): should i apologize for contacting you?
gretl88 (7:09:23 PM): I'm just attempting to catch my breath is all.
gretl88 (7:09:25 PM): No
prince_charming_iowa (7:09:32 PM): good. thank you
prince_charming_iowa (7:09:33 PM):
gretl88 (7:10:02 PM): I'm seriously not breathing
prince_charming_iowa (7:10:17 PM): should i be taking that as a compliment?
gretl88 (7:10:23 PM): yes, I think so
prince_charming_iowa (7:10:50 PM): well, your reaction is leaving me speechless
gretl88 (7:11:05 PM): Well, your reappearance leaves me breathless AND speechless
prince_charming_iowa (7:11:19 PM): care to elaborate?
gretl88 (7:11:25 PM): So I've got you beat.
gretl88 (7:11:40 PM): Well, last I heard... I was never going to hear from you again...
prince_charming_iowa (7:11:44 PM): for the moment
prince_charming_iowa (7:11:53 PM): siiiiiigh
gretl88 (7:12:01 PM): why the sigh?
prince_charming_iowa (7:12:05 PM): is this a mistake?
prince_charming_iowa (7:12:10 PM): i don't want to complicate your life
gretl88 (7:12:23 PM): You're the one who made the choice both times, light of my heart.
prince_charming_iowa (7:12:33 PM): awwwwwwwww
prince_charming_iowa (7:12:39 PM): THAT wounded me
prince_charming_iowa (7:12:45 PM): especially the term of endearment, dear
gretl88 (7:12:48 PM): I didn't mean to.
prince_charming_iowa (7:12:54 PM): i know
gretl88 (7:13:27 PM): It's not about complicating my life.
prince_charming_iowa (7:14:04 PM): ...i really did throw you here, gretchen. i'm very sorry
gretl88 (7:14:17 PM): Honestly? I'd rather you threw me than threw me away.
prince_charming_iowa (7:15:09 PM):
gretl88 (7:15:52 PM): Oh
gretl88 (7:15:54 PM): my word
gretl88 (7:16:00 PM): I'm really putting my foot in my mouth here...
prince_charming_iowa (7:16:09 PM): you're wonderful, as always
gretl88 (7:16:09 PM): I'm sorry, I didn't mean it THAT WAY!
prince_charming_iowa (7:16:53 PM):
gretl88 (7:16:56 PM): Can I ask a hard question?
prince_charming_iowa (7:17:04 PM): ouch. i suppose so
prince_charming_iowa (7:17:15 PM): don't know if i can answer, but i'll try
gretl88 (7:17:17 PM): Why did you come back again?
prince_charming_iowa (7:17:40 PM): oh, right, like i'm supposed to know the answer to that?
prince_charming_iowa (7:17:42 PM): i'm sorry
gretl88 (7:17:47 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (7:17:49 PM): i shouldn't be flippant
gretl88 (7:17:55 PM): Sorry, I can't help but laugh!
prince_charming_iowa (7:18:10 PM): i'm glad you are!
gretl88 (7:18:46 PM): I'm sorry you're not.
gretl88 (7:18:58 PM): I'm going to have to leave here soon, forewarning.
prince_charming_iowa (7:19:10 PM): ok. thank you
gretl88 (7:19:25 PM): awwww don't frown.
gretl88 (7:19:35 PM): Smile. I'm happy to "see" you.
prince_charming_iowa (7:19:38 PM): you have to leave soon?
prince_charming_iowa (7:19:45 PM): good
prince_charming_iowa (7:20:03 PM): not GOOD you have to LEAVE. GOOD you're happy to "see" me
gretl88 (7:20:11 PM): Of course I am
gretl88 (7:20:19 PM): how could I not be?
prince_charming_iowa (7:20:24 PM): you're SO serious, and it's making me feel bad
prince_charming_iowa (7:20:28 PM): smooch right back at you
gretl88 (7:20:35 PM): Don't mean to!
prince_charming_iowa (7:21:29 PM): so when are you leaving?
prince_charming_iowa (7:21:35 PM): so i can brace myself
gretl88 (7:21:40 PM): Probably the next 20 minutes
prince_charming_iowa (7:21:45 PM): ouch. ok
gretl88 (7:22:07 PM): waiting for a friend to pick me up for dinner
prince_charming_iowa (7:23:06 PM): ...i shouldn't be forming a question or feeling even borderline jealous, should i?
gretl88 (7:23:11 PM): *smooch*
gretl88 (7:23:14 PM): not at all.
gretl88 (7:23:15 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (7:23:16 PM): smooch to you, too
gretl88 (7:24:25 PM): So, tell me what you've been up to...
gretl88 (7:24:33 PM): other than pining away for my amazing self.
prince_charming_iowa (7:24:38 PM): nothing noteworthy, really
gretl88 (7:25:15 PM): Nothing?
prince_charming_iowa (7:25:39 PM): not that i can think of as worth reporting
gretl88 (7:26:08 PM): Well...
gretl88 (7:26:12 PM): I've moved into a house
gretl88 (7:26:19 PM): Moved my office
prince_charming_iowa (7:26:31 PM): congratulations
prince_charming_iowa (7:26:33 PM): that's a good thing
gretl88 (7:27:11 PM): Very good.
prince_charming_iowa (7:27:20 PM): are you living there, too?
gretl88 (7:27:20 PM): Awwww you're so quiet, sweetie.
prince_charming_iowa (7:27:24 PM): in the house?
gretl88 (7:27:28 PM): I'm living in the house
prince_charming_iowa (7:27:34 PM): thanks. i like the sweetie part
gretl88 (7:27:34 PM): and half of the time in the office.
prince_charming_iowa (7:28:38 PM): i'm flustered by the time limit...and not using it well
gretl88 (7:28:53 PM): awwww
gretl88 (7:29:07 PM): but Mike's always late. All of his friends know this well.
prince_charming_iowa (7:29:33 PM): @ "mike"...but maybe candor isn't a good thing
prince_charming_iowa (7:29:38 PM):
gretl88 (7:29:55 PM): friend, you dork
gretl88 (7:29:57 PM): I DO have them
prince_charming_iowa (7:30:16 PM): you do?
prince_charming_iowa (7:30:20 PM): ohhhhh gooood
prince_charming_iowa (7:30:30 PM): he'll understand that you're standing him up, then, right?
gretl88 (7:30:35 PM): You're so cute. I want to kiss you so bad.
prince_charming_iowa (7:30:57 PM): i want to accept that so bad
prince_charming_iowa (7:31:32 PM): should i have said that?
gretl88 (7:31:36 PM): yes.
prince_charming_iowa (7:31:55 PM): good
prince_charming_iowa (7:31:59 PM): i was checking my watch, too
gretl88 (7:32:04 PM):
gretl88 (7:32:17 PM): I keep checking out the window, praying he's even later than usual!
prince_charming_iowa (7:33:03 PM): don't you feel some flu symptoms coming on? (hint,hint)
gretl88 (7:33:25 PM):
gretl88 (7:34:34 PM): You're something else.
prince_charming_iowa (7:34:46 PM): that's true...but what?
gretl88 (7:34:56 PM): flu symptoms!
prince_charming_iowa (7:35:23 PM): you're the actress...you figure out the disease
prince_charming_iowa (7:35:26 PM):
gretl88 (7:35:36 PM): Hmmm
gretl88 (7:35:41 PM): Tuberculosis.
prince_charming_iowa (7:36:25 PM): sounds a little fishy. they don't have home diagnostic kits, do they?
gretl88 (7:36:39 PM):
gretl88 (7:36:50 PM): You know, regardless of your name, I just keep wanting to say "JAKE!!"
prince_charming_iowa (7:37:04 PM): i'll answer to that
prince_charming_iowa (7:37:14 PM): especially if you're screaming it...oops
gretl88 (7:37:18 PM):
gretl88 (7:38:16 PM): Hmm
prince_charming_iowa (7:38:17 PM): i would love to see you, you know
prince_charming_iowa (7:38:20 PM): can i confess that?
gretl88 (7:38:27 PM): I take it you don't mean scream in anger
gretl88 (7:38:28 PM): oh my
gretl88 (7:38:30 PM): you can
gretl88 (7:38:36 PM): but I can't breathe again.
prince_charming_iowa (7:38:41 PM): correct
prince_charming_iowa (7:38:49 PM): would mouth to mouth be alright?
gretl88 (7:38:59 PM): *faints*
prince_charming_iowa (7:39:36 PM): *beginning the "procedure"*----is that what the kids call it nowadays?
gretl88 (7:39:55 PM):
gretl88 (7:40:00 PM): Just shut up and kiss me.
prince_charming_iowa (7:40:13 PM): honey? you know it
prince_charming_iowa (7:40:18 PM): SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH
gretl88 (7:40:26 PM):
gretl88 (7:41:31 PM): I'm seriously about to call the boy and tell him to go jump in Gray's Lake.
prince_charming_iowa (7:41:41 PM): sounds good to me
gretl88 (7:42:00 PM): brb
gretl88 (7:43:00 PM): do you know I still have your phone number in my cell phone?
prince_charming_iowa (7:43:23 PM): siiiiiigh
gretl88 (7:43:30 PM): Under "My Jake"
prince_charming_iowa (7:43:36 PM): cute
gretl88 (7:43:54 PM): was that a good sigh? or a bad one?
gretl88 (7:44:12 PM): I'm calling him, btw, telling him I had something come up.
gretl88 (7:44:25 PM): BUT
prince_charming_iowa (7:44:28 PM): wow. THANK YOU!!!
gretl88 (7:44:28 PM): I am STARVING
prince_charming_iowa (7:44:31 PM): GOOD sigh
gretl88 (7:44:38 PM): so you're either going to have to come down here and get me and take me out to dinner
prince_charming_iowa (7:44:43 PM): can you hold off for two hours?
gretl88 (7:44:47 PM):
gretl88 (7:44:55 PM): are you serious?
prince_charming_iowa (7:45:09 PM): i think so. let me catch MY breath
gretl88 (7:45:12 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (7:45:14 PM): can we order in?
gretl88 (7:45:15 PM): making the call
gretl88 (7:45:17 PM): YES
gretl88 (7:45:18 PM): PLEASE
prince_charming_iowa (7:45:27 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (7:49:44 PM): still with me, gretchen?
gretl88 (7:49:59 PM): of course
gretl88 (7:50:02 PM): was leaving the message
prince_charming_iowa (7:50:51 PM): let me know when you can talk
gretl88 (7:51:28 PM): *SMOOOOOOOOOCH*
prince_charming_iowa (7:51:56 PM): i'm imagining that so vividly it's hard to type anything appropriate
gretl88 (7:52:09 PM): GET IN YOUR CAR!
gretl88 (7:52:11 PM): OH wait
gretl88 (7:52:13 PM): don't
gretl88 (7:52:24 PM): you don't know where you're going.
prince_charming_iowa (7:52:25 PM): why?
prince_charming_iowa (7:52:31 PM): address? details details
gretl88 (7:52:32 PM): Get directions first!
gretl88 (7:52:39 PM): 1513 E 16th St
gretl88 (7:52:44 PM): Take 80 to 235
gretl88 (7:52:52 PM): take the 14th st/15th st exit
gretl88 (7:53:25 PM): when you hit University Ave, about three-four blocks up, you'll know you're on the right track
prince_charming_iowa (7:53:33 PM): i'm furiously writing
gretl88 (7:54:07 PM): you'll go through another two lights, turn right at the second (Washington St) (there's a car dealership on that corner called Platinum Motors)
gretl88 (7:54:19 PM): the fourth street on the right is E 16th.
gretl88 (7:54:44 PM): My house is on the left, halfway up the block... big gray oldsmobile in the driveway, light will be on for you.
prince_charming_iowa (7:54:44 PM): let me run off a computer map
gretl88 (7:54:52 PM): ok but make sure it's right.
prince_charming_iowa (7:55:18 PM): let me write all this stuff down, gretchen
gretl88 (7:55:28 PM): I'm not going anywhere
prince_charming_iowa (7:56:07 PM): can i see you on cam while i write? is that ok?
gretl88 (7:56:39 PM): yes
gretl88 (7:57:11 PM): *siiiiiigh*
prince_charming_iowa (7:57:14 PM): WOW!!!
gretl88 (7:57:19 PM):
gretl88 (7:57:23 PM): Oh, stop
gretl88 (7:58:04 PM): I can't stop laughing
gretl88 (7:58:10 PM): This is my den/junk room
prince_charming_iowa (7:58:43 PM): what a LOVELY lady
prince_charming_iowa (7:58:54 PM): i'm a highly motivated driver
gretl88 (7:58:59 PM): and a lovely pile of junk.
gretl88 (7:59:00 PM): GOOD
gretl88 (7:59:04 PM): don't get in an accident!
prince_charming_iowa (7:59:11 PM): i won't
gretl88 (7:59:14 PM): do you have text messaging on your phone?
prince_charming_iowa (7:59:17 PM): i'm a little nervous, gretchen
prince_charming_iowa (7:59:21 PM): i don't think so
gretl88 (7:59:25 PM): You're doing a lot better than me then
gretl88 (7:59:37 PM): I have the entire butterfly gardens in my stomach
prince_charming_iowa (7:59:39 PM): you think?
gretl88 (7:59:44 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (7:59:49 PM): talk about trouble breathing!
gretl88 (7:59:54 PM): "little nervous" versus entire butterfly gardens!
gretl88 (8:00:14 PM): Will you get ON the road, please, before you change your mind?!?
gretl88 (8:00:19 PM): AND
gretl88 (8:00:24 PM): do you have my cell number?
prince_charming_iowa (8:00:29 PM): no, i don't
gretl88 (8:00:32 PM): because if you SOMEHOW get lost...
gretl88 (8:00:34 PM): good grief
gretl88 (8:00:38 PM): 515-779-9112
gretl88 (8:00:40 PM): call me
gretl88 (8:00:46 PM): let it ring a couple times
gretl88 (8:00:55 PM): and I'll call you back via relay
prince_charming_iowa (8:00:56 PM): of course
prince_charming_iowa (8:01:03 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (8:01:09 PM): gretchen?
gretl88 (8:01:10 PM): yes?
prince_charming_iowa (8:01:15 PM): you are GORGEOUS
gretl88 (8:01:22 PM): you're a flatterer
gretl88 (8:01:43 PM): please come down. Please?
gretl88 (8:01:46 PM): please come see me.
prince_charming_iowa (8:01:52 PM): i will
prince_charming_iowa (8:02:01 PM): give me two min to collect myself. i'm not going to waste much time
gretl88 (8:02:08 PM): good to hear.
gretl88 (8:02:16 PM): I don't know what the HELL I'm going to do for the next two hours
gretl88 (8:02:35 PM): I can't stop laughing!
prince_charming_iowa (8:02:43 PM): the anticipation on YOUR end makes me nervous!
gretl88 (8:02:44 PM): I don't believe this is happening...
gretl88 (8:02:50 PM): I have no expectations
prince_charming_iowa (8:02:51 PM): it's a good thing?
gretl88 (8:03:02 PM): I'm just happy, can't I be happy?
prince_charming_iowa (8:03:08 PM): i'm not worried. just adds to the butterflies
prince_charming_iowa (8:03:11 PM): please do!
gretl88 (8:03:26 PM): I can do that.
gretl88 (8:03:44 PM): what are you driving?
prince_charming_iowa (8:03:48 PM): you are SO fun
gretl88 (8:04:01 PM): this is me.
gretl88 (8:04:07 PM): this is you.
gretl88 (8:04:18 PM): This is me high over the anticipation of seeing you.
prince_charming_iowa (8:04:42 PM): i am astounded by your beauty once again
prince_charming_iowa (8:04:44 PM): wow
prince_charming_iowa (8:04:55 PM): alright alright
gretl88 (8:05:04 PM): yeah yeah
prince_charming_iowa (8:05:06 PM): enough with the eye rolling. i'm moving
gretl88 (8:05:08 PM): good
gretl88 (8:05:12 PM): see you in 2 hours
prince_charming_iowa (8:05:19 PM): yes
prince_charming_iowa (8:05:23 PM): thanks, gretchen
gretl88 (8:05:24 PM): call me if you need to
gretl88 (8:05:28 PM): thank YOU
prince_charming_iowa (8:05:29 PM): i will
prince_charming_iowa (8:05:33 PM): thank YOU
prince_charming_iowa (8:05:45 PM): tuberculosis isn't contagious is it?
gretl88 (8:05:46 PM): See you soon. take a smooch with you...
gretl88 (8:05:53 PM): not at all.
prince_charming_iowa (8:06:04 PM): you are an AMAZING woman, gretchen
prince_charming_iowa (8:06:07 PM): can't wait to see you
gretl88 (8:06:13 PM): GO!!!
prince_charming_iowa (8:06:18 PM): i'm gone
prince_charming_iowa (8:06:19 PM): bye
gretl88 (8:06:22 PM): bye!
gretl88 (8:14:31 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (8:14:33 PM): gretchen?
prince_charming_iowa (8:14:35 PM): ok what?
gretl88 (8:14:35 PM): yes
gretl88 (8:14:39 PM): ?
prince_charming_iowa (8:14:47 PM): what's ok?
gretl88 (8:14:53 PM): you being back online
gretl88 (8:14:58 PM): just seemed the thing to say
prince_charming_iowa (8:15:03 PM): i just finished getting washed up
gretl88 (8:15:33 PM): all right!
prince_charming_iowa (8:15:37 PM): alright, here's the deal. i'm really wanting to see you, but really afraid of consequences here
prince_charming_iowa (8:15:41 PM): all right?!
prince_charming_iowa (8:15:53 PM): indulge me for a min
prince_charming_iowa (8:15:56 PM): and stop rolling your eyes
gretl88 (8:15:56 PM): I'm indulging
gretl88 (8:16:00 PM):
gretl88 (8:16:38 PM): Tell me what you want from me... what the deal is, ground rules
prince_charming_iowa (8:16:58 PM): i don't like "ground rules". i just am afraid of hurting you and wife
gretl88 (8:17:11 PM): *smooch*
prince_charming_iowa (8:17:18 PM): thank you!!!
prince_charming_iowa (8:17:25 PM): that was unexpected and nice
gretl88 (8:17:25 PM): the only way you can hurt me, is to disappear again without a trace
gretl88 (8:17:43 PM): I can't speak for her. But I'm not about to take you away.
prince_charming_iowa (8:17:54 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (8:17:58 PM): gretchen?
gretl88 (8:18:03 PM): yes?
gretl88 (8:18:11 PM): (breathing over here)
gretl88 (8:18:17 PM): (taking most of my energy)
prince_charming_iowa (8:18:25 PM): this is just not well thought out, yet. hence the desire to drive IMMEDIATELY and the worry about causing GREATER hurt
gretl88 (8:18:56 PM): Will you please drive? Please?
prince_charming_iowa (8:19:14 PM): i NEED another minute
gretl88 (8:19:18 PM): Because I think, and I kid you not, I'm going to have a heart attack here...
gretl88 (8:19:22 PM): whatever you need.
prince_charming_iowa (8:19:26 PM): don't do THAT, please
gretl88 (8:19:28 PM):
gretl88 (8:19:36 PM): well at least you know where to send the ambulance.
prince_charming_iowa (8:19:45 PM): true
prince_charming_iowa (8:19:52 PM): thank you
gretl88 (8:20:03 PM): Now
prince_charming_iowa (8:20:11 PM): yes?
gretl88 (8:20:16 PM): what assurances do you need from me?
prince_charming_iowa (8:20:35 PM): i don't like the sound of that
prince_charming_iowa (8:20:45 PM): smooch
prince_charming_iowa (8:20:47 PM): you're cute
gretl88 (8:20:47 PM): *smooch*
gretl88 (8:20:52 PM): don't be so serious.
prince_charming_iowa (8:21:04 PM): i need to be for one more min
gretl88 (8:21:07 PM): you're making me nervous
gretl88 (8:21:08 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (8:21:13 PM): don't be nervous
prince_charming_iowa (8:21:18 PM):
gretl88 (8:21:19 PM): timing you
prince_charming_iowa (8:21:22 PM): i'm on the clock?
gretl88 (8:21:30 PM): you know it, darling!
prince_charming_iowa (8:21:33 PM): i REALLY care about you
gretl88 (8:21:35 PM): Talk to me.
prince_charming_iowa (8:21:51 PM): but i DON'T know how i can have an ongoing relationship.
prince_charming_iowa (8:22:08 PM): stop getting sick
gretl88 (8:22:11 PM): So this could be a one-shot deal?
prince_charming_iowa (8:22:15 PM): and rolling your eyes
prince_charming_iowa (8:22:23 PM): no, i'm not going to do that to you
prince_charming_iowa (8:22:31 PM): see? this is why i'm nervous
prince_charming_iowa (8:23:00 PM): i looked for you, i found you, i talked for you, i grabbed my car keys...NOW i'm "begining" to think
prince_charming_iowa (8:23:11 PM): bear with me
prince_charming_iowa (8:23:17 PM): and i'm smiling, if that's allowed
gretl88 (8:23:19 PM): always.
gretl88 (8:23:22 PM): Encouraged, even.
prince_charming_iowa (8:23:23 PM): and wincing at the same time
gretl88 (8:23:27 PM): understood
prince_charming_iowa (8:24:09 PM): i feel under the gun to make an immediate decision
prince_charming_iowa (8:24:18 PM): honey? i want to see you so badly
prince_charming_iowa (8:24:36 PM): you seem pensive
gretl88 (8:24:44 PM): You can't want to see me any more than I want to see YOU
gretl88 (8:24:47 PM): not pensive...
gretl88 (8:24:53 PM): I'm just bearing with you.
prince_charming_iowa (8:25:54 PM): do you understand? or am i alone in my insanity?
gretl88 (8:26:01 PM): I understand and you're not alone
gretl88 (8:26:19 PM): I understand far more than you can imagine
prince_charming_iowa (8:26:32 PM): tell me. i'd rather have this discussion NOW
gretl88 (8:26:36 PM): what?
prince_charming_iowa (8:26:47 PM): what you're thinking i mean
prince_charming_iowa (8:26:52 PM): nothing bad
prince_charming_iowa (8:27:02 PM): just wondering what's on your mind, gretchen
gretl88 (8:27:04 PM): All I'm thinking, honestly, is this...
gretl88 (8:27:10 PM): MY GOD I WANT TO SEE YOU
gretl88 (8:27:13 PM): it doesn't matter...
gretl88 (8:27:15 PM): dinner out
gretl88 (8:27:19 PM): go to the library
gretl88 (8:27:23 PM): stay in my house
gretl88 (8:27:26 PM): sit on the steps
gretl88 (8:27:29 PM): sit in the car
gretl88 (8:27:31 PM): I don't care
prince_charming_iowa (8:27:49 PM): well, duh, the latter is my strong interest. i want to hold you so badly
gretl88 (8:27:51 PM): and I'm feeling your trepidation...
gretl88 (8:28:05 PM): and understanding where it comes from
prince_charming_iowa (8:28:08 PM): latter as in "your house"--not the car
gretl88 (8:28:16 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (8:28:22 PM):
gretl88 (8:28:32 PM): but I'm also feeling like this HAS to happen
prince_charming_iowa (8:28:34 PM): gretchen? i feel so tenderfly toward you
gretl88 (8:28:35 PM): for both of us...
gretl88 (8:28:45 PM): I feel the same to you.
prince_charming_iowa (8:28:59 PM): i SO do NOT want to screw things up for you
gretl88 (8:29:13 PM): Honey, how do you think you're going to screw things up for me?
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:14 PM): i don't want to hurt you, gretchen
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:19 PM): i don't intend to
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:26 PM): but further intimacy implies something to me
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:34 PM): and that's what i'm struggling with
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:39 PM): i'm not trying to overthink this
gretl88 (8:29:43 PM): what does it imply?
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:49 PM): i don't
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:57 PM): i COULD fall madly for you
prince_charming_iowa (8:30:03 PM): no question about that
gretl88 (8:30:22 PM): I understant THAT believe me...
gretl88 (8:30:30 PM): given that I feel the same about you.
prince_charming_iowa (8:30:33 PM): yes, and that SCARES me
gretl88 (8:30:34 PM): BUT
prince_charming_iowa (8:30:44 PM): because i don't know what WE can do about it?
prince_charming_iowa (8:30:58 PM): yes yes yes
gretl88 (8:30:59 PM): we are both people of strong convictions, and adherence to our word, are we not?
prince_charming_iowa (8:31:03 PM): i see your impatience
gretl88 (8:31:07 PM):
gretl88 (8:31:12 PM): perceptive man
prince_charming_iowa (8:31:17 PM): yep
gretl88 (8:31:25 PM): My point here is...
gretl88 (8:31:36 PM): I'm not about to leave Paul for someone else. And you're not about to leave your family either.
prince_charming_iowa (8:31:53 PM): yes, but i don't have the same situation you do with paul, either
gretl88 (8:32:00 PM): I know that
gretl88 (8:32:04 PM): nobody does.
prince_charming_iowa (8:32:09 PM): this would not go over well, to put it EXTREMELY mildly
gretl88 (8:32:17 PM): Even *I* don't have the same situation I did with Paul.
prince_charming_iowa (8:32:27 PM): things have changed?
gretl88 (8:32:44 PM): for the better as far as you're concerned
prince_charming_iowa (8:32:51 PM): how so?
gretl88 (8:32:58 PM): restriction.
gretl88 (8:33:16 PM): remember what I told you?
gretl88 (8:33:21 PM): "I will never be the same"
gretl88 (8:33:23 PM): and I'm not
gretl88 (8:33:34 PM): I am, but I'm not.
prince_charming_iowa (8:33:34 PM): gretchen? i have a 30 min deadline by the way
gretl88 (8:33:39 PM): because?
prince_charming_iowa (8:33:41 PM): i can still leave at 9
prince_charming_iowa (8:33:47 PM): totally artificial
gretl88 (8:33:47 PM): and how long will I have?
prince_charming_iowa (8:34:03 PM): i'm just trying to do this conversation justice while giving myself time to see you
prince_charming_iowa (8:34:11 PM): you have until 4 am
gretl88 (8:34:24 PM): this conversation can be continued here you know.
prince_charming_iowa (8:34:37 PM): i know
prince_charming_iowa (8:34:46 PM): this is helping immensely already
gretl88 (8:35:04 PM): I'm glad.
prince_charming_iowa (8:35:08 PM): me, too
gretl88 (8:35:11 PM): (uncensored thought)
gretl88 (8:35:15 PM): GET YOUR ASS IN YOUR CAR!
prince_charming_iowa (8:35:24 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (8:35:28 PM): you are SO cute
prince_charming_iowa (8:35:35 PM): do you dare to ask me my uncensored thought?
gretl88 (8:35:38 PM): YES
gretl88 (8:35:41 PM): I want to know!
prince_charming_iowa (8:35:45 PM): brace yourself
prince_charming_iowa (8:35:51 PM): "i love you"
prince_charming_iowa (8:36:01 PM): sorry about that
prince_charming_iowa (8:36:08 PM): i'm censoring madly
gretl88 (8:36:12 PM): don
gretl88 (8:36:15 PM): don't
gretl88 (8:36:28 PM): please come to me.
prince_charming_iowa (8:36:37 PM): your understanding brings tears to my eyes, is all
prince_charming_iowa (8:36:43 PM): this really helps
gretl88 (8:36:49 PM): good
prince_charming_iowa (8:37:00 PM): makes me remember again how much and why i love talking to you
gretl88 (8:37:11 PM): I never forgot.
gretl88 (8:37:19 PM): I kept all your pages.
prince_charming_iowa (8:37:19 PM): yeah yeah yeah
prince_charming_iowa (8:37:28 PM):
gretl88 (8:37:33 PM): here's one...
prince_charming_iowa (8:37:39 PM): wow
gretl88 (8:38:08 PM): hmmm
gretl88 (8:38:16 PM): something about several dozen roses
prince_charming_iowa (8:38:17 PM): so much material to choose from?
gretl88 (8:38:19 PM): and the CR airport.
prince_charming_iowa (8:38:20 PM): i'm sweating
prince_charming_iowa (8:38:24 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (8:38:32 PM): i like THAT idea
prince_charming_iowa (8:38:42 PM): gretchen? you honestly melting me
prince_charming_iowa (8:38:47 PM): and i can't type
gretl88 (8:38:56 PM): *holds out arms*
gretl88 (8:39:05 PM): come over here and you won't have to
prince_charming_iowa (8:39:21 PM): ...here's a hypothetical
gretl88 (8:39:24 PM): yes?
prince_charming_iowa (8:39:30 PM): what if we saw each other on the street next week?
prince_charming_iowa (8:39:43 PM): what if you ran into me in my place of business?
gretl88 (8:40:06 PM): I would act like I'd met you somewhere, and it's nice to see you again.
gretl88 (8:40:07 PM): or
gretl88 (8:40:11 PM): if you prefer
gretl88 (8:40:19 PM): I'd act like I never saw you before in my life.
gretl88 (8:40:29 PM): which would be HARD but...
gretl88 (8:40:41 PM): hey, I'm an actress, it's all about a challenge
prince_charming_iowa (8:41:07 PM): would you settle for roses...and the des moines airport?
gretl88 (8:41:11 PM): quite
gretl88 (8:41:24 PM): I'd settle for you... and my front stoop.
prince_charming_iowa (8:41:54 PM): <===lost in thought! wow
gretl88 (8:42:53 PM): "you know, after I'm finished you might NEED to flee to Barbados. Will you be a fugitive with me?"
gretl88 (8:43:27 PM): you sent me that as part of a page the day I went to Ottumwa.
prince_charming_iowa (8:43:27 PM): i'm censoring that L-word again
prince_charming_iowa (8:43:29 PM): i apologize
gretl88 (8:43:32 PM): Why?
gretl88 (8:43:42 PM): I love you. Simple. I've never stopped
prince_charming_iowa (8:43:48 PM): i don't mean it manipulatively
prince_charming_iowa (8:44:01 PM): just telling you what's springing to my lips
gretl88 (8:44:27 PM): likewise.
prince_charming_iowa (8:44:31 PM): <==woozy
prince_charming_iowa (8:45:33 PM): ...
gretl88 (8:45:37 PM): I understand
gretl88 (8:45:41 PM): I was there a couple minutes ago
prince_charming_iowa (8:45:52 PM): gretchen?
gretl88 (8:45:54 PM): yes?
prince_charming_iowa (8:45:58 PM): let's go to barbados and not come back
gretl88 (8:46:05 PM): Ok
prince_charming_iowa (8:46:23 PM): the thought of several hours with you and then who the hell knows what then is killing me
prince_charming_iowa (8:46:41 PM): come on now, should i be censoring?
gretl88 (8:46:47 PM): you KNEW that would make me roll my eyes!
gretl88 (8:46:50 PM): no
prince_charming_iowa (8:46:53 PM): i DID
gretl88 (8:46:56 PM): but
gretl88 (8:47:09 PM): regrets...
prince_charming_iowa (8:47:16 PM): why regrets?
gretl88 (8:47:34 PM): If anyone asked me what regrets I have, they would be FEW
gretl88 (8:47:37 PM): and the main one?
gretl88 (8:47:38 PM): that night
gretl88 (8:47:42 PM): not taking you seriously
prince_charming_iowa (8:48:04 PM): about visiting you earlier?
gretl88 (8:48:05 PM): yes
prince_charming_iowa (8:48:20 PM): you are SO sensitive
prince_charming_iowa (8:48:32 PM): it makes my heart ache in all kinds of wonderful and scary ways
prince_charming_iowa (8:48:54 PM): is that your schoolteacher look?
gretl88 (8:48:57 PM): no
prince_charming_iowa (8:49:04 PM): like, "when is this guy going to get it?"
gretl88 (8:49:10 PM): no
gretl88 (8:49:14 PM): it's more my wistful
gretl88 (8:49:23 PM): "when is he going to come?"
gretl88 (8:49:58 PM): and *is* he going to come?
gretl88 (8:50:17 PM): going invisible
prince_charming_iowa (8:50:18 PM): ok, i'm swearing you to total honesty. question for you:
prince_charming_iowa (8:50:27 PM): thanks. ok
gretl88 (8:50:34 PM): I've never lied to you and I'm not about to now
prince_charming_iowa (8:50:50 PM): ok. do you have ANY concerns about me coming over? and if so, what?
gretl88 (8:51:19 PM): What springs to mind, honestly, is YOUR confusion or whatever it is that you're feeling (if you even know)
gretl88 (8:51:29 PM): I don't want YOU hurt anymore than you want me hurt.
prince_charming_iowa (8:51:51 PM): yeah yeah yeah
gretl88 (8:51:55 PM): I already know how I feel about you.
prince_charming_iowa (8:51:56 PM): that's a copout
gretl88 (8:52:05 PM): I know I won't want to let you go
prince_charming_iowa (8:52:05 PM): how about YOUR potential for hurt
prince_charming_iowa (8:52:10 PM): ok
gretl88 (8:52:12 PM): but
prince_charming_iowa (8:52:17 PM): likewise, gretchen
gretl88 (8:52:18 PM): I also know I WILL let you go
gretl88 (8:52:25 PM): my potential?
gretl88 (8:52:34 PM): I'm going to be brutal, my darling...
prince_charming_iowa (8:52:42 PM): thank you
gretl88 (8:52:47 PM): you cannot possibly hurt me more than you already have.
gretl88 (8:53:02 PM): there is no way to "cushion" that
prince_charming_iowa (8:53:05 PM): you said brutal, not lethal. ouch
gretl88 (8:53:17 PM): *sigh*
prince_charming_iowa (8:53:23 PM): darling?
gretl88 (8:53:24 PM): Can I tell you something?
gretl88 (8:53:25 PM): yes?
prince_charming_iowa (8:53:27 PM): yes
gretl88 (8:53:28 PM): you first
prince_charming_iowa (8:53:49 PM): my heart SO goes out to you, can see the look on your face and want to kiss your tears
prince_charming_iowa (8:54:06 PM): or whatever no crying necessary
gretl88 (8:54:13 PM): there ARE tears
gretl88 (8:54:23 PM): but they're staying where they are
gretl88 (8:54:45 PM): six minutes, my darling.
prince_charming_iowa (8:55:05 PM): ha! eight
prince_charming_iowa (8:55:11 PM): my love
gretl88 (8:55:13 PM): five according to MY computer!
gretl88 (8:55:16 PM): *siiiiiiigh*
prince_charming_iowa (8:55:20 PM): 9.5
gretl88 (8:55:28 PM): I admit I almost called you that but I censored.
gretl88 (8:55:37 PM): it's 8:55 here, I swear!
gretl88 (8:56:05 PM): 856
prince_charming_iowa (8:56:08 PM): smoke and mirrors. so what?
gretl88 (8:56:22 PM): YOU!
gretl88 (8:56:25 PM): kiss me
prince_charming_iowa (8:56:41 PM): kissing the screen, love of my life
gretl88 (8:56:46 PM): ohhhh
gretl88 (8:56:53 PM): NOW you're going to make me cry
prince_charming_iowa (8:57:17 PM): i like the serious looks, too, gretchen. they hurt more, though
prince_charming_iowa (8:57:30 PM): sweet wounds
prince_charming_iowa (8:57:35 PM): something like that
gretl88 (8:57:41 PM): 3 minutes
prince_charming_iowa (8:57:58 PM): that was a smile
gretl88 (8:58:08 PM): you know it, darling!
gretl88 (8:58:37 PM): *stomach growls*
prince_charming_iowa (8:58:45 PM): *snorts*
gretl88 (8:59:10 PM): well I haven't had dinner yet!
gretl88 (8:59:26 PM): the last thing I had to eat was a caramel filled chocolate egg around 3
gretl88 (8:59:31 PM): before that, nothing since 9
prince_charming_iowa (8:59:32 PM):
gretl88 (8:59:42 PM): hey laugh it up...
gretl88 (8:59:47 PM): but my clock says 8:59
gretl88 (9:00:09 PM): and that's 12 hours since I ate!
prince_charming_iowa (9:00:28 PM): let's see, three plus twelve...
prince_charming_iowa (9:00:34 PM): alright, honey
gretl88 (9:00:49 PM): alright what?
gretl88 (9:01:09 PM): <----poised to either cheer or cry or both
prince_charming_iowa (9:01:17 PM): where's the banging head against computer emoticon?
gretl88 (9:01:35 PM): they did away with that one because people were imitating it too often
prince_charming_iowa (9:01:41 PM): you know, that slow motion eyeblink
prince_charming_iowa (9:01:44 PM): ...
prince_charming_iowa (9:02:02 PM): of matt/jake/whateverhisname is exasperating me
prince_charming_iowa (9:02:32 PM): give me your thoughts, darling
prince_charming_iowa (9:02:36 PM): ALL of them
prince_charming_iowa (9:02:43 PM): in 50 words or less
gretl88 (9:03:11 PM): please come and see me and hug me and kiss me and love me so I can love you and I swear you won't regret it.
gretl88 (9:03:25 PM): no censoring there
prince_charming_iowa (9:03:35 PM): wow
prince_charming_iowa (9:03:44 PM): that's quite a closing argument
prince_charming_iowa (9:04:02 PM): combined with those sultry eyes
gretl88 (9:04:18 PM): How can you resist this face?
prince_charming_iowa (9:04:34 PM): ooooooooooooooooooooo. this is SO unfair
gretl88 (9:05:02 PM): please make a decision, please?
gretl88 (9:05:05 PM): either way
gretl88 (9:05:11 PM): you're killing me
prince_charming_iowa (9:06:00 PM): gretchen? the stakes feel way too high
prince_charming_iowa (9:06:07 PM): i like you too much. is that insane?
gretl88 (9:06:15 PM): yes
prince_charming_iowa (9:06:25 PM): *snorting*
prince_charming_iowa (9:06:29 PM): well, that's direct
gretl88 (9:06:43 PM): would you expect anything less of me?
prince_charming_iowa (9:07:49 PM): of course not
prince_charming_iowa (9:07:52 PM): gretchen?
prince_charming_iowa (9:07:56 PM): i feel like i'm hurting you already
prince_charming_iowa (9:08:02 PM): THIS is why i'm scared
gretl88 (9:08:10 PM): no more than you already have, as I said
prince_charming_iowa (9:08:42 PM): somehow that's not reassuring
gretl88 (9:08:47 PM): it's only the same hurt, again.
prince_charming_iowa (9:08:55 PM): damn it!
prince_charming_iowa (9:09:21 PM): this isn't a casual interest in you, gretchen
prince_charming_iowa (9:09:32 PM): that's why i'm not doing casual/spontaneous well
prince_charming_iowa (9:09:38 PM): this is the best i can do
prince_charming_iowa (9:09:42 PM): i've got to be honest with you
prince_charming_iowa (9:09:54 PM): maybe this'll cure you of me permanently
gretl88 (9:10:01 PM): what?
gretl88 (9:10:54 PM): maybe WHAT will cure me?
prince_charming_iowa (9:10:57 PM): this is all so much high drama
prince_charming_iowa (9:11:06 PM): and i'm frustrating you beyond belief
prince_charming_iowa (9:11:08 PM): i know it
prince_charming_iowa (9:11:39 PM): i can't help it, gretchen
gretl88 (9:11:44 PM): and yet, my darling... you could relieve that frustration instantly
prince_charming_iowa (9:12:04 PM): or intensify it
prince_charming_iowa (9:12:14 PM): and i don't trust that you know yourself well enough to be candid
gretl88 (9:12:49 PM): You think you know me better than I do?
prince_charming_iowa (9:13:19 PM): not necessarily. i'm not sure you're being completely candid with either of us right now
gretl88 (9:13:33 PM): what do you think I'm censoring?
gretl88 (9:13:48 PM): because maybe I am and don't know it, but I won't know it until you tell me
prince_charming_iowa (9:14:01 PM): i'm thinking of the "morning after"
prince_charming_iowa (9:14:08 PM): and THAT kind of hurt
prince_charming_iowa (9:14:13 PM): i don't want to be a one night stand
gretl88 (9:14:19 PM): the letting go part.
gretl88 (9:14:40 PM): Light of my heart, there is less than zero chance you could ever be that.
gretl88 (9:15:24 PM): Do you understand the effect you have on me? And that my frustration with you is all centered on YOU, on the power you wield over me, not on your situation?
prince_charming_iowa (9:16:00 PM): but gretchen? i don't want to wield any power over you! that tears me up
gretl88 (9:16:07 PM): It's not centered around the fact that you're not available, that you're married or anything else
gretl88 (9:16:25 PM): you wield a huge amount of power, my darling. How can you not?
prince_charming_iowa (9:16:25 PM): i'd love to take you to tahiti and never let you go...but aside from that scenario, i do NOT want to hurt you
gretl88 (9:16:50 PM): But you don't seem to understand... THIS hurts me more. This...
gretl88 (9:17:08 PM): it's like someone holds out your heart's desire to you... and yanks it back.
gretl88 (9:17:35 PM): your frustration and mine are different, my love.
prince_charming_iowa (9:18:07 PM): what's mine?
prince_charming_iowa (9:18:17 PM): <==mr self knowledge
gretl88 (9:18:28 PM): prince_charming_iowa: i'd love to take you to tahiti and never let you go...
gretl88 (9:18:34 PM): that
gretl88 (9:18:43 PM): you're projecting your own onto me, I think.
prince_charming_iowa (9:18:48 PM): right. whereas you just want my body
gretl88 (9:18:56 PM): I could laugh
gretl88 (9:19:03 PM): but I am deadly serious
prince_charming_iowa (9:19:03 PM): awww go ahead
gretl88 (9:19:05 PM): no
prince_charming_iowa (9:19:08 PM): about my body?
gretl88 (9:19:18 PM): you could be a brain in a jar for all I know
prince_charming_iowa (9:19:25 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (9:19:31 PM): i am ROLLING now
gretl88 (9:19:36 PM): good
prince_charming_iowa (9:19:39 PM): you caught me
gretl88 (9:19:57 PM): I figured that explained your reluctance to drive
gretl88 (9:20:03 PM): your caretaker must be on vacation
prince_charming_iowa (9:20:24 PM): no, the electronic bracelet beeps if i get more than 100 yards
gretl88 (9:20:41 PM): where's the bracelet? Around the lid of the jar?
prince_charming_iowa (9:20:55 PM): no, i'm on a work release program
gretl88 (9:21:00 PM): aha
prince_charming_iowa (9:21:01 PM): prison
prince_charming_iowa (9:21:47 PM): um, not really
prince_charming_iowa (9:21:50 PM): just to clarify
prince_charming_iowa (9:21:53 PM): gretchen?
gretl88 (9:21:56 PM): yes?
prince_charming_iowa (9:21:57 PM): you're MISERABLE
gretl88 (9:22:03 PM): yes I am
prince_charming_iowa (9:22:12 PM): how can this NOT affect me????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/
gretl88 (9:22:24 PM): I'm sorry
prince_charming_iowa (9:23:38 PM): i want to see you
prince_charming_iowa (9:23:39 PM): now
prince_charming_iowa (9:23:42 PM): uncensored thought
gretl88 (9:23:57 PM): I would drive to CR if I had any idea where to go.
prince_charming_iowa (9:24:27 PM): i'll tell my wife it's a business meeting. no problem. we'll visit in the study
gretl88 (9:24:29 PM): Who am I kidding?
gretl88 (9:24:36 PM): I'd drive to Timbuktu
gretl88 (9:24:43 PM): under the ocean
gretl88 (9:24:46 PM): over the mountains
prince_charming_iowa (9:25:04 PM): i really can't breathe
prince_charming_iowa (9:25:16 PM): this is BEAUTIFUL
prince_charming_iowa (9:25:19 PM): but so MUCH pressure
prince_charming_iowa (9:25:28 PM): how can i NOT hurt you, gretchen?
gretl88 (9:25:39 PM): how can you be hurting me now?
prince_charming_iowa (9:25:47 PM): just slap me, would you?
prince_charming_iowa (9:25:49 PM): THEN kiss me
gretl88 (9:25:54 PM): If you'd come here I would
gretl88 (9:25:57 PM): or meet me halfway
gretl88 (9:26:02 PM): or meet me all the way
gretl88 (9:26:03 PM): or something
gretl88 (9:26:08 PM): but you won't
gretl88 (9:26:13 PM): Ahhhh
gretl88 (9:26:15 PM): another song...
prince_charming_iowa (9:28:40 PM): what are you singing, lover?
gretl88 (9:28:59 PM): Don't put your head in your hands now...
gretl88 (9:29:06 PM): "I Can't Make You Love Me"
prince_charming_iowa (9:29:50 PM): so what's halfway?
gretl88 (9:29:57 PM): Belle Plaine
gretl88 (9:30:09 PM): on the interstate
gretl88 (9:30:12 PM): exit 201
prince_charming_iowa (9:30:25 PM): wow. that was thought out
gretl88 (9:30:34 PM): I drive it every week, I should know
prince_charming_iowa (9:30:58 PM): how in the hell could i even leave you, gretchen? i'd NEVER get home?
prince_charming_iowa (9:31:14 PM): i feel sick and weak
gretl88 (9:31:16 PM): I'd push you out the door
gretl88 (9:31:29 PM): You of all people understand this...
prince_charming_iowa (9:31:31 PM): i'd resist
gretl88 (9:31:35 PM): that I love you enough to make you go
prince_charming_iowa (9:32:52 PM): i can't even THINK. this hurts thinking about it
gretl88 (9:33:05 PM): brb
gretl88 (9:35:39 PM): ok
gretl88 (9:36:29 PM): take a tylenol or something
prince_charming_iowa (9:36:47 PM): i'm laughing. mostly because you're NOT
prince_charming_iowa (9:36:50 PM): ouch
prince_charming_iowa (9:37:00 PM): you are SO mad
gretl88 (9:37:09 PM): I'm not mad
gretl88 (9:38:44 PM): I need to eat
gretl88 (9:38:56 PM): or I WILL pass out.
prince_charming_iowa (9:39:00 PM): gretchen? self-knowledge check. you're mad
prince_charming_iowa (9:39:09 PM): other stuff, too
gretl88 (9:39:11 PM): I'm hurt
prince_charming_iowa (9:39:15 PM): ok
gretl88 (9:39:16 PM): mad?
gretl88 (9:39:21 PM): no
prince_charming_iowa (9:39:22 PM): hurt isn't any better
gretl88 (9:39:23 PM): frustrated
gretl88 (9:39:29 PM): and
prince_charming_iowa (9:39:30 PM): disgusted?
gretl88 (9:39:37 PM): it's hard for me to be completely powerless
gretl88 (9:39:39 PM): completely
prince_charming_iowa (9:40:06 PM): tell me about it! i feel physically weak
gretl88 (9:40:17 PM): you know that's not what I mean
prince_charming_iowa (9:40:56 PM): no, it's a symptom of being emotionally drained, and HURT myself
gretl88 (9:41:21 PM): hurt why?
gretl88 (9:41:25 PM): brb
prince_charming_iowa (9:41:29 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (9:42:11 PM): GIVE ME THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT, WOULD YOU, GRETCHEN? I LOVE YOU. AND YOU ACT LIKE I'M TRYING TO HURT YOU. MY INTENTIONS ARE PRECISELY THE OPPOSITE
gretl88 (9:42:42 PM): I know they are
gretl88 (9:42:49 PM): but you hold the power to change mine
gretl88 (9:43:06 PM): and you feel that by exercising that you'll hurt me worse
prince_charming_iowa (9:43:09 PM): that's not fair
gretl88 (9:43:15 PM): I'm sorry
gretl88 (9:43:17 PM): but it's true.
prince_charming_iowa (9:43:21 PM): don't apologize
gretl88 (9:43:42 PM): cheese. *sad smile*
gretl88 (9:44:24 PM): See
prince_charming_iowa (9:44:32 PM): i did
prince_charming_iowa (9:44:34 PM): i love cheese
gretl88 (9:44:36 PM): it's not fair that you can see me sitting here eating my cheese...
gretl88 (9:44:37 PM): I know
prince_charming_iowa (9:44:44 PM): no, i LIKE cheese. i LOVE you!!
gretl88 (9:44:45 PM): it's one of the things we talked about
gretl88 (9:45:19 PM): cojack
prince_charming_iowa (9:45:29 PM): muenster
gretl88 (9:45:46 PM): no you're not a monster.
prince_charming_iowa (9:46:01 PM):
gretl88 (9:46:05 PM): Y
gretl88 (9:46:39 PM): You know what hurts? That I'm going to wake up tomorrow and feel worse than I possibly could have if you were to be here.
gretl88 (9:46:45 PM): completely uncensored, that
prince_charming_iowa (9:47:03 PM): me, too, in the short term, gretchen
prince_charming_iowa (9:47:12 PM): i can't shake that it would be very hurtful, though
prince_charming_iowa (9:50:00 PM): dont' go
gretl88 (9:50:11 PM): you don't need to watch this
prince_charming_iowa (9:50:14 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (9:50:16 PM): but don't leave
gretl88 (9:50:23 PM): why?
prince_charming_iowa (9:51:43 PM): ever uncensored thought i share is going to hurt more because i'm going to say things about how i long to see you, hold you, kiss you, love you, caress you...yes, undress you, and gently and lingeringly make love to you, gretchen
gretl88 (9:52:27 PM): it's going to hurt more? Why?
gretl88 (9:52:39 PM): because you could be doing it?
prince_charming_iowa (9:52:40 PM): where would we meet in belle plaine?
gretl88 (9:52:47 PM): At the north side gas station
prince_charming_iowa (9:52:52 PM): and then what?
gretl88 (9:52:59 PM): and there is a Sleep Inn right there
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:04 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:07 PM): wow
gretl88 (9:53:09 PM): GO ahead and laugh
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:14 PM): i'm not laughing
gretl88 (9:53:16 PM): but I stop there most weeks.
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:17 PM): why would you say that?
gretl88 (9:53:25 PM): because I know this.
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:25 PM): to meet somebody?
gretl88 (9:53:26 PM): no
gretl88 (9:53:34 PM): to get something to drink and go to the bathroom
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:39 PM):
gretl88 (9:53:40 PM): at the gas station, you dork
gretl88 (9:53:43 PM): it's halfway
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:46 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:48 PM): ok. thanks
gretl88 (9:54:16 PM): so, 11? It's a date? The gas station north of the interstate?
prince_charming_iowa (9:54:24 PM): exit 201?
gretl88 (9:54:26 PM): yes
prince_charming_iowa (9:54:37 PM): damn
gretl88 (9:55:20 PM): that's not the answer I was looking for
prince_charming_iowa (9:55:34 PM): it's getting closer to the right answer...
gretl88 (9:55:44 PM): three little letters
gretl88 (9:55:49 PM): that's four.
gretl88 (9:55:50 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (9:55:53 PM): wow?
gretl88 (9:55:58 PM): no
gretl88 (9:56:01 PM): starts with y
gretl88 (9:56:04 PM): ends with s
prince_charming_iowa (9:56:05 PM): yow!
gretl88 (9:56:09 PM): and an e between
prince_charming_iowa (9:56:21 PM): i'm working on it
prince_charming_iowa (9:58:26 PM): gretchen? i'm worried about my wife, too. i just can't risk ruining what i have
prince_charming_iowa (9:58:38 PM): i'm SO sick
gretl88 (9:58:45 PM): and just out of curiosity what would ruin your relationship there?
prince_charming_iowa (9:59:14 PM): out of curiousity, huh? sounds like a challenge
gretl88 (10:00:00 PM): *shrug* You can take it as one, but it's the truth... I'm curious as to exactly what you foresee happening that would "ruin" what you have.
prince_charming_iowa (10:01:13 PM): i don't really want to get into that, gretchen
gretl88 (10:01:35 PM): that's truly unfair.
prince_charming_iowa (10:01:43 PM): is it? i don't mean it to be
gretl88 (10:01:46 PM): it is
gretl88 (10:02:27 PM): I can't do this.
gretl88 (10:05:42 PM): All I am doing is staring at the screen, wondering why you won't give me any real answers...
gretl88 (10:05:48 PM): and it HURTS
prince_charming_iowa (10:05:54 PM): i don't know where to start, gretchen
prince_charming_iowa (10:06:00 PM): i don't have any more answers than before.
prince_charming_iowa (10:06:08 PM): i guess it IS the same hurt
prince_charming_iowa (10:06:13 PM): and i'm so sorry i've reopened it
prince_charming_iowa (10:06:16 PM): for BOTH of us
gretl88 (10:06:18 PM): you never gave me any answers before when I asked about this.
gretl88 (10:06:35 PM): Your answer was the same, that you didn't want to go into it.
prince_charming_iowa (10:07:16 PM): i don't think so, but i suppose you've got the documentation to support your recollection (weak smile)
gretl88 (10:07:25 PM): Don't you understand? I will do anything, up to and including being the one to leave this time, to keep you from hurting...
gretl88 (10:07:28 PM): always
gretl88 (10:07:40 PM): to keep you from hurting, in the long run
gretl88 (10:08:03 PM): and maybe what I should have done is just shot down the idea of meeting, because I knew it wasn't the right thing for you
prince_charming_iowa (10:08:30 PM): i'm sorry, gretchen
gretl88 (10:08:31 PM): But sometimes, I AM selfish, intensely so, and this is one of those times... and I believed that I could soothe anything in your soul.
prince_charming_iowa (10:08:32 PM): i'm so so sorry
gretl88 (10:08:38 PM): *shrug*
gretl88 (10:08:42 PM): it doesn't matter.
prince_charming_iowa (10:08:46 PM): *snort*
prince_charming_iowa (10:08:50 PM): it doe
prince_charming_iowa (10:08:52 PM): does
prince_charming_iowa (10:08:55 PM): but i don't know what to say
gretl88 (10:11:23 PM): I just want to get in my car and drive
gretl88 (10:11:36 PM): I don't want to be here right now
prince_charming_iowa (10:12:11 PM): i'm sorry
prince_charming_iowa (10:13:22 PM): thanks, gretchen
gretl88 (10:14:02 PM): I am going to drive. I am going to drive east. I am going to Belle Plaine. I will be there for 45 minutes and then I am either going to drive home or I am going to keep driving
gretl88 (10:14:43 PM): whether you are there or not, that is what I am going to do.
prince_charming_iowa (10:14:43 PM): are you serious?
gretl88 (10:14:44 PM): yes
gretl88 (10:15:05 PM): what the hell?
gretl88 (10:16:35 PM): *shrug* I'm going
gretl88 (10:16:38 PM): see you, or not
prince_charming_iowa (10:17:17 PM): i'm sorry
prince_charming_iowa (10:17:23 PM): i saw you were typing a message
prince_charming_iowa (10:17:25 PM): and i was waiting
prince_charming_iowa (10:17:35 PM): my connection was on, but i got booted off
gretl88 (10:17:39 PM): ah
prince_charming_iowa (10:17:41 PM): the messenger
gretl88 (10:17:53 PM): I'm going, sweetheart
gretl88 (10:17:55 PM): I love you
gretl88 (10:17:59 PM): if you're there, then I'll see you
gretl88 (10:18:03 PM): if you're not, I won't.
gretl88 (10:18:17 PM): Either way, this is a way for ME to regain some power for myself.
gretl88 (10:18:20 PM): And I need that
gretl88 (10:18:22 PM): badly
prince_charming_iowa (10:18:26 PM): 11:30?
gretl88 (10:18:28 PM): yes
gretl88 (10:18:42 PM): bye, my darling.
prince_charming_iowa (10:18:49 PM): take your cell phone
prince_charming_iowa (10:19:05 PM): you're driving a gray oldsmobile?
prince_charming_iowa (10:19:23 PM): are you there?
gretl88 (10:19:30 PM): yes leaving
gretl88 (10:19:30 PM): now
gretl88 (10:19:41 PM): I have my phone and yes that's what I'm driving
gretl88 (10:20:13 PM): I will be at the gas station on the north side at 11:30
prince_charming_iowa (10:20:20 PM): i will see you there, gretchen
gretl88 (10:20:21 PM): The Hitching Post or something like that...
prince_charming_iowa (10:20:25 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (10:20:26 PM): yes
gretl88 (10:20:30 PM): bye
prince_charming_iowa (10:20:34 PM): bye
prince_charming_iowa (10:22:55 PM): i'm on my way, gretchen
Yahoo! Messenger: prince_charming_iowa has logged out. (8/18/2003 10:28 PM)
I don't know why he came back. I don't think he does either.
It must just be my incredibly magnetic personality. *weak grin*
He logged on and said he was coming down to take me to dinner.
And then, after he got ready to go... he started thinking. And thought better of it, eventually. He was worried about the effect on him, me, and everyone else involved.
He said that I was acting like he was trying to hurt me when his intentions were the opposite. And he didn't think I was being candid with myself... or with him, about how meeting would affect me.
prince_charming_iowa (7:08:44 PM): hi gretchen
gretl88 (7:08:53 PM): um
prince_charming_iowa (7:09:02 PM): should i not say hello?
prince_charming_iowa (7:09:06 PM): it's matt
gretl88 (7:09:09 PM): I know
prince_charming_iowa (7:09:15 PM): i know you know
prince_charming_iowa (7:09:23 PM): should i apologize for contacting you?
gretl88 (7:09:23 PM): I'm just attempting to catch my breath is all.
gretl88 (7:09:25 PM): No
prince_charming_iowa (7:09:32 PM): good. thank you
prince_charming_iowa (7:09:33 PM):
gretl88 (7:10:02 PM): I'm seriously not breathing
prince_charming_iowa (7:10:17 PM): should i be taking that as a compliment?
gretl88 (7:10:23 PM): yes, I think so
prince_charming_iowa (7:10:50 PM): well, your reaction is leaving me speechless
gretl88 (7:11:05 PM): Well, your reappearance leaves me breathless AND speechless
prince_charming_iowa (7:11:19 PM): care to elaborate?
gretl88 (7:11:25 PM): So I've got you beat.
gretl88 (7:11:40 PM): Well, last I heard... I was never going to hear from you again...
prince_charming_iowa (7:11:44 PM): for the moment
prince_charming_iowa (7:11:53 PM): siiiiiigh
gretl88 (7:12:01 PM): why the sigh?
prince_charming_iowa (7:12:05 PM): is this a mistake?
prince_charming_iowa (7:12:10 PM): i don't want to complicate your life
gretl88 (7:12:23 PM): You're the one who made the choice both times, light of my heart.
prince_charming_iowa (7:12:33 PM): awwwwwwwww
prince_charming_iowa (7:12:39 PM): THAT wounded me
prince_charming_iowa (7:12:45 PM): especially the term of endearment, dear
gretl88 (7:12:48 PM): I didn't mean to.
prince_charming_iowa (7:12:54 PM): i know
gretl88 (7:13:27 PM): It's not about complicating my life.
prince_charming_iowa (7:14:04 PM): ...i really did throw you here, gretchen. i'm very sorry
gretl88 (7:14:17 PM): Honestly? I'd rather you threw me than threw me away.
prince_charming_iowa (7:15:09 PM):
gretl88 (7:15:52 PM): Oh
gretl88 (7:15:54 PM): my word
gretl88 (7:16:00 PM): I'm really putting my foot in my mouth here...
prince_charming_iowa (7:16:09 PM): you're wonderful, as always
gretl88 (7:16:09 PM): I'm sorry, I didn't mean it THAT WAY!
prince_charming_iowa (7:16:53 PM):
gretl88 (7:16:56 PM): Can I ask a hard question?
prince_charming_iowa (7:17:04 PM): ouch. i suppose so
prince_charming_iowa (7:17:15 PM): don't know if i can answer, but i'll try
gretl88 (7:17:17 PM): Why did you come back again?
prince_charming_iowa (7:17:40 PM): oh, right, like i'm supposed to know the answer to that?
prince_charming_iowa (7:17:42 PM): i'm sorry
gretl88 (7:17:47 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (7:17:49 PM): i shouldn't be flippant
gretl88 (7:17:55 PM): Sorry, I can't help but laugh!
prince_charming_iowa (7:18:10 PM): i'm glad you are!
gretl88 (7:18:46 PM): I'm sorry you're not.
gretl88 (7:18:58 PM): I'm going to have to leave here soon, forewarning.
prince_charming_iowa (7:19:10 PM): ok. thank you
gretl88 (7:19:25 PM): awwww don't frown.
gretl88 (7:19:35 PM): Smile. I'm happy to "see" you.
prince_charming_iowa (7:19:38 PM): you have to leave soon?
prince_charming_iowa (7:19:45 PM): good
prince_charming_iowa (7:20:03 PM): not GOOD you have to LEAVE. GOOD you're happy to "see" me
gretl88 (7:20:11 PM): Of course I am
gretl88 (7:20:19 PM): how could I not be?
prince_charming_iowa (7:20:24 PM): you're SO serious, and it's making me feel bad
prince_charming_iowa (7:20:28 PM): smooch right back at you
gretl88 (7:20:35 PM): Don't mean to!
prince_charming_iowa (7:21:29 PM): so when are you leaving?
prince_charming_iowa (7:21:35 PM): so i can brace myself
gretl88 (7:21:40 PM): Probably the next 20 minutes
prince_charming_iowa (7:21:45 PM): ouch. ok
gretl88 (7:22:07 PM): waiting for a friend to pick me up for dinner
prince_charming_iowa (7:23:06 PM): ...i shouldn't be forming a question or feeling even borderline jealous, should i?
gretl88 (7:23:11 PM): *smooch*
gretl88 (7:23:14 PM): not at all.
gretl88 (7:23:15 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (7:23:16 PM): smooch to you, too
gretl88 (7:24:25 PM): So, tell me what you've been up to...
gretl88 (7:24:33 PM): other than pining away for my amazing self.
prince_charming_iowa (7:24:38 PM): nothing noteworthy, really
gretl88 (7:25:15 PM): Nothing?
prince_charming_iowa (7:25:39 PM): not that i can think of as worth reporting
gretl88 (7:26:08 PM): Well...
gretl88 (7:26:12 PM): I've moved into a house
gretl88 (7:26:19 PM): Moved my office
prince_charming_iowa (7:26:31 PM): congratulations
prince_charming_iowa (7:26:33 PM): that's a good thing
gretl88 (7:27:11 PM): Very good.
prince_charming_iowa (7:27:20 PM): are you living there, too?
gretl88 (7:27:20 PM): Awwww you're so quiet, sweetie.
prince_charming_iowa (7:27:24 PM): in the house?
gretl88 (7:27:28 PM): I'm living in the house
prince_charming_iowa (7:27:34 PM): thanks. i like the sweetie part
gretl88 (7:27:34 PM): and half of the time in the office.
prince_charming_iowa (7:28:38 PM): i'm flustered by the time limit...and not using it well
gretl88 (7:28:53 PM): awwww
gretl88 (7:29:07 PM): but Mike's always late. All of his friends know this well.
prince_charming_iowa (7:29:33 PM): @ "mike"...but maybe candor isn't a good thing
prince_charming_iowa (7:29:38 PM):
gretl88 (7:29:55 PM): friend, you dork
gretl88 (7:29:57 PM): I DO have them
prince_charming_iowa (7:30:16 PM): you do?
prince_charming_iowa (7:30:20 PM): ohhhhh gooood
prince_charming_iowa (7:30:30 PM): he'll understand that you're standing him up, then, right?
gretl88 (7:30:35 PM): You're so cute. I want to kiss you so bad.
prince_charming_iowa (7:30:57 PM): i want to accept that so bad
prince_charming_iowa (7:31:32 PM): should i have said that?
gretl88 (7:31:36 PM): yes.
prince_charming_iowa (7:31:55 PM): good
prince_charming_iowa (7:31:59 PM): i was checking my watch, too
gretl88 (7:32:04 PM):
gretl88 (7:32:17 PM): I keep checking out the window, praying he's even later than usual!
prince_charming_iowa (7:33:03 PM): don't you feel some flu symptoms coming on? (hint,hint)
gretl88 (7:33:25 PM):
gretl88 (7:34:34 PM): You're something else.
prince_charming_iowa (7:34:46 PM): that's true...but what?
gretl88 (7:34:56 PM): flu symptoms!
prince_charming_iowa (7:35:23 PM): you're the actress...you figure out the disease
prince_charming_iowa (7:35:26 PM):
gretl88 (7:35:36 PM): Hmmm
gretl88 (7:35:41 PM): Tuberculosis.
prince_charming_iowa (7:36:25 PM): sounds a little fishy. they don't have home diagnostic kits, do they?
gretl88 (7:36:39 PM):
gretl88 (7:36:50 PM): You know, regardless of your name, I just keep wanting to say "JAKE!!"
prince_charming_iowa (7:37:04 PM): i'll answer to that
prince_charming_iowa (7:37:14 PM): especially if you're screaming it...oops
gretl88 (7:37:18 PM):
gretl88 (7:38:16 PM): Hmm
prince_charming_iowa (7:38:17 PM): i would love to see you, you know
prince_charming_iowa (7:38:20 PM): can i confess that?
gretl88 (7:38:27 PM): I take it you don't mean scream in anger
gretl88 (7:38:28 PM): oh my
gretl88 (7:38:30 PM): you can
gretl88 (7:38:36 PM): but I can't breathe again.
prince_charming_iowa (7:38:41 PM): correct
prince_charming_iowa (7:38:49 PM): would mouth to mouth be alright?
gretl88 (7:38:59 PM): *faints*
prince_charming_iowa (7:39:36 PM): *beginning the "procedure"*----is that what the kids call it nowadays?
gretl88 (7:39:55 PM):
gretl88 (7:40:00 PM): Just shut up and kiss me.
prince_charming_iowa (7:40:13 PM): honey? you know it
prince_charming_iowa (7:40:18 PM): SMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCH
gretl88 (7:40:26 PM):
gretl88 (7:41:31 PM): I'm seriously about to call the boy and tell him to go jump in Gray's Lake.
prince_charming_iowa (7:41:41 PM): sounds good to me
gretl88 (7:42:00 PM): brb
gretl88 (7:43:00 PM): do you know I still have your phone number in my cell phone?
prince_charming_iowa (7:43:23 PM): siiiiiigh
gretl88 (7:43:30 PM): Under "My Jake"
prince_charming_iowa (7:43:36 PM): cute
gretl88 (7:43:54 PM): was that a good sigh? or a bad one?
gretl88 (7:44:12 PM): I'm calling him, btw, telling him I had something come up.
gretl88 (7:44:25 PM): BUT
prince_charming_iowa (7:44:28 PM): wow. THANK YOU!!!
gretl88 (7:44:28 PM): I am STARVING
prince_charming_iowa (7:44:31 PM): GOOD sigh
gretl88 (7:44:38 PM): so you're either going to have to come down here and get me and take me out to dinner
prince_charming_iowa (7:44:43 PM): can you hold off for two hours?
gretl88 (7:44:47 PM):
gretl88 (7:44:55 PM): are you serious?
prince_charming_iowa (7:45:09 PM): i think so. let me catch MY breath
gretl88 (7:45:12 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (7:45:14 PM): can we order in?
gretl88 (7:45:15 PM): making the call
gretl88 (7:45:17 PM): YES
gretl88 (7:45:18 PM): PLEASE
prince_charming_iowa (7:45:27 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (7:49:44 PM): still with me, gretchen?
gretl88 (7:49:59 PM): of course
gretl88 (7:50:02 PM): was leaving the message
prince_charming_iowa (7:50:51 PM): let me know when you can talk
gretl88 (7:51:28 PM): *SMOOOOOOOOOCH*
prince_charming_iowa (7:51:56 PM): i'm imagining that so vividly it's hard to type anything appropriate
gretl88 (7:52:09 PM): GET IN YOUR CAR!
gretl88 (7:52:11 PM): OH wait
gretl88 (7:52:13 PM): don't
gretl88 (7:52:24 PM): you don't know where you're going.
prince_charming_iowa (7:52:25 PM): why?
prince_charming_iowa (7:52:31 PM): address? details details
gretl88 (7:52:32 PM): Get directions first!
gretl88 (7:52:39 PM): 1513 E 16th St
gretl88 (7:52:44 PM): Take 80 to 235
gretl88 (7:52:52 PM): take the 14th st/15th st exit
gretl88 (7:53:25 PM): when you hit University Ave, about three-four blocks up, you'll know you're on the right track
prince_charming_iowa (7:53:33 PM): i'm furiously writing
gretl88 (7:54:07 PM): you'll go through another two lights, turn right at the second (Washington St) (there's a car dealership on that corner called Platinum Motors)
gretl88 (7:54:19 PM): the fourth street on the right is E 16th.
gretl88 (7:54:44 PM): My house is on the left, halfway up the block... big gray oldsmobile in the driveway, light will be on for you.
prince_charming_iowa (7:54:44 PM): let me run off a computer map
gretl88 (7:54:52 PM): ok but make sure it's right.
prince_charming_iowa (7:55:18 PM): let me write all this stuff down, gretchen
gretl88 (7:55:28 PM): I'm not going anywhere
prince_charming_iowa (7:56:07 PM): can i see you on cam while i write? is that ok?
gretl88 (7:56:39 PM): yes
gretl88 (7:57:11 PM): *siiiiiigh*
prince_charming_iowa (7:57:14 PM): WOW!!!
gretl88 (7:57:19 PM):
gretl88 (7:57:23 PM): Oh, stop
gretl88 (7:58:04 PM): I can't stop laughing
gretl88 (7:58:10 PM): This is my den/junk room
prince_charming_iowa (7:58:43 PM): what a LOVELY lady
prince_charming_iowa (7:58:54 PM): i'm a highly motivated driver
gretl88 (7:58:59 PM): and a lovely pile of junk.
gretl88 (7:59:00 PM): GOOD
gretl88 (7:59:04 PM): don't get in an accident!
prince_charming_iowa (7:59:11 PM): i won't
gretl88 (7:59:14 PM): do you have text messaging on your phone?
prince_charming_iowa (7:59:17 PM): i'm a little nervous, gretchen
prince_charming_iowa (7:59:21 PM): i don't think so
gretl88 (7:59:25 PM): You're doing a lot better than me then
gretl88 (7:59:37 PM): I have the entire butterfly gardens in my stomach
prince_charming_iowa (7:59:39 PM): you think?
gretl88 (7:59:44 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (7:59:49 PM): talk about trouble breathing!
gretl88 (7:59:54 PM): "little nervous" versus entire butterfly gardens!
gretl88 (8:00:14 PM): Will you get ON the road, please, before you change your mind?!?
gretl88 (8:00:19 PM): AND
gretl88 (8:00:24 PM): do you have my cell number?
prince_charming_iowa (8:00:29 PM): no, i don't
gretl88 (8:00:32 PM): because if you SOMEHOW get lost...
gretl88 (8:00:34 PM): good grief
gretl88 (8:00:38 PM): 515-779-9112
gretl88 (8:00:40 PM): call me
gretl88 (8:00:46 PM): let it ring a couple times
gretl88 (8:00:55 PM): and I'll call you back via relay
prince_charming_iowa (8:00:56 PM): of course
prince_charming_iowa (8:01:03 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (8:01:09 PM): gretchen?
gretl88 (8:01:10 PM): yes?
prince_charming_iowa (8:01:15 PM): you are GORGEOUS
gretl88 (8:01:22 PM): you're a flatterer
gretl88 (8:01:43 PM): please come down. Please?
gretl88 (8:01:46 PM): please come see me.
prince_charming_iowa (8:01:52 PM): i will
prince_charming_iowa (8:02:01 PM): give me two min to collect myself. i'm not going to waste much time
gretl88 (8:02:08 PM): good to hear.
gretl88 (8:02:16 PM): I don't know what the HELL I'm going to do for the next two hours
gretl88 (8:02:35 PM): I can't stop laughing!
prince_charming_iowa (8:02:43 PM): the anticipation on YOUR end makes me nervous!
gretl88 (8:02:44 PM): I don't believe this is happening...
gretl88 (8:02:50 PM): I have no expectations
prince_charming_iowa (8:02:51 PM): it's a good thing?
gretl88 (8:03:02 PM): I'm just happy, can't I be happy?
prince_charming_iowa (8:03:08 PM): i'm not worried. just adds to the butterflies
prince_charming_iowa (8:03:11 PM): please do!
gretl88 (8:03:26 PM): I can do that.
gretl88 (8:03:44 PM): what are you driving?
prince_charming_iowa (8:03:48 PM): you are SO fun
gretl88 (8:04:01 PM): this is me.
gretl88 (8:04:07 PM): this is you.
gretl88 (8:04:18 PM): This is me high over the anticipation of seeing you.
prince_charming_iowa (8:04:42 PM): i am astounded by your beauty once again
prince_charming_iowa (8:04:44 PM): wow
prince_charming_iowa (8:04:55 PM): alright alright
gretl88 (8:05:04 PM): yeah yeah
prince_charming_iowa (8:05:06 PM): enough with the eye rolling. i'm moving
gretl88 (8:05:08 PM): good
gretl88 (8:05:12 PM): see you in 2 hours
prince_charming_iowa (8:05:19 PM): yes
prince_charming_iowa (8:05:23 PM): thanks, gretchen
gretl88 (8:05:24 PM): call me if you need to
gretl88 (8:05:28 PM): thank YOU
prince_charming_iowa (8:05:29 PM): i will
prince_charming_iowa (8:05:33 PM): thank YOU
prince_charming_iowa (8:05:45 PM): tuberculosis isn't contagious is it?
gretl88 (8:05:46 PM): See you soon. take a smooch with you...
gretl88 (8:05:53 PM): not at all.
prince_charming_iowa (8:06:04 PM): you are an AMAZING woman, gretchen
prince_charming_iowa (8:06:07 PM): can't wait to see you
gretl88 (8:06:13 PM): GO!!!
prince_charming_iowa (8:06:18 PM): i'm gone
prince_charming_iowa (8:06:19 PM): bye
gretl88 (8:06:22 PM): bye!
gretl88 (8:14:31 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (8:14:33 PM): gretchen?
prince_charming_iowa (8:14:35 PM): ok what?
gretl88 (8:14:35 PM): yes
gretl88 (8:14:39 PM): ?
prince_charming_iowa (8:14:47 PM): what's ok?
gretl88 (8:14:53 PM): you being back online
gretl88 (8:14:58 PM): just seemed the thing to say
prince_charming_iowa (8:15:03 PM): i just finished getting washed up
gretl88 (8:15:33 PM): all right!
prince_charming_iowa (8:15:37 PM): alright, here's the deal. i'm really wanting to see you, but really afraid of consequences here
prince_charming_iowa (8:15:41 PM): all right?!
prince_charming_iowa (8:15:53 PM): indulge me for a min
prince_charming_iowa (8:15:56 PM): and stop rolling your eyes
gretl88 (8:15:56 PM): I'm indulging
gretl88 (8:16:00 PM):
gretl88 (8:16:38 PM): Tell me what you want from me... what the deal is, ground rules
prince_charming_iowa (8:16:58 PM): i don't like "ground rules". i just am afraid of hurting you and wife
gretl88 (8:17:11 PM): *smooch*
prince_charming_iowa (8:17:18 PM): thank you!!!
prince_charming_iowa (8:17:25 PM): that was unexpected and nice
gretl88 (8:17:25 PM): the only way you can hurt me, is to disappear again without a trace
gretl88 (8:17:43 PM): I can't speak for her. But I'm not about to take you away.
prince_charming_iowa (8:17:54 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (8:17:58 PM): gretchen?
gretl88 (8:18:03 PM): yes?
gretl88 (8:18:11 PM): (breathing over here)
gretl88 (8:18:17 PM): (taking most of my energy)
prince_charming_iowa (8:18:25 PM): this is just not well thought out, yet. hence the desire to drive IMMEDIATELY and the worry about causing GREATER hurt
gretl88 (8:18:56 PM): Will you please drive? Please?
prince_charming_iowa (8:19:14 PM): i NEED another minute
gretl88 (8:19:18 PM): Because I think, and I kid you not, I'm going to have a heart attack here...
gretl88 (8:19:22 PM): whatever you need.
prince_charming_iowa (8:19:26 PM): don't do THAT, please
gretl88 (8:19:28 PM):
gretl88 (8:19:36 PM): well at least you know where to send the ambulance.
prince_charming_iowa (8:19:45 PM): true
prince_charming_iowa (8:19:52 PM): thank you
gretl88 (8:20:03 PM): Now
prince_charming_iowa (8:20:11 PM): yes?
gretl88 (8:20:16 PM): what assurances do you need from me?
prince_charming_iowa (8:20:35 PM): i don't like the sound of that
prince_charming_iowa (8:20:45 PM): smooch
prince_charming_iowa (8:20:47 PM): you're cute
gretl88 (8:20:47 PM): *smooch*
gretl88 (8:20:52 PM): don't be so serious.
prince_charming_iowa (8:21:04 PM): i need to be for one more min
gretl88 (8:21:07 PM): you're making me nervous
gretl88 (8:21:08 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (8:21:13 PM): don't be nervous
prince_charming_iowa (8:21:18 PM):
gretl88 (8:21:19 PM): timing you
prince_charming_iowa (8:21:22 PM): i'm on the clock?
gretl88 (8:21:30 PM): you know it, darling!
prince_charming_iowa (8:21:33 PM): i REALLY care about you
gretl88 (8:21:35 PM): Talk to me.
prince_charming_iowa (8:21:51 PM): but i DON'T know how i can have an ongoing relationship.
prince_charming_iowa (8:22:08 PM): stop getting sick
gretl88 (8:22:11 PM): So this could be a one-shot deal?
prince_charming_iowa (8:22:15 PM): and rolling your eyes
prince_charming_iowa (8:22:23 PM): no, i'm not going to do that to you
prince_charming_iowa (8:22:31 PM): see? this is why i'm nervous
prince_charming_iowa (8:23:00 PM): i looked for you, i found you, i talked for you, i grabbed my car keys...NOW i'm "begining" to think
prince_charming_iowa (8:23:11 PM): bear with me
prince_charming_iowa (8:23:17 PM): and i'm smiling, if that's allowed
gretl88 (8:23:19 PM): always.
gretl88 (8:23:22 PM): Encouraged, even.
prince_charming_iowa (8:23:23 PM): and wincing at the same time
gretl88 (8:23:27 PM): understood
prince_charming_iowa (8:24:09 PM): i feel under the gun to make an immediate decision
prince_charming_iowa (8:24:18 PM): honey? i want to see you so badly
prince_charming_iowa (8:24:36 PM): you seem pensive
gretl88 (8:24:44 PM): You can't want to see me any more than I want to see YOU
gretl88 (8:24:47 PM): not pensive...
gretl88 (8:24:53 PM): I'm just bearing with you.
prince_charming_iowa (8:25:54 PM): do you understand? or am i alone in my insanity?
gretl88 (8:26:01 PM): I understand and you're not alone
gretl88 (8:26:19 PM): I understand far more than you can imagine
prince_charming_iowa (8:26:32 PM): tell me. i'd rather have this discussion NOW
gretl88 (8:26:36 PM): what?
prince_charming_iowa (8:26:47 PM): what you're thinking i mean
prince_charming_iowa (8:26:52 PM): nothing bad
prince_charming_iowa (8:27:02 PM): just wondering what's on your mind, gretchen
gretl88 (8:27:04 PM): All I'm thinking, honestly, is this...
gretl88 (8:27:10 PM): MY GOD I WANT TO SEE YOU
gretl88 (8:27:13 PM): it doesn't matter...
gretl88 (8:27:15 PM): dinner out
gretl88 (8:27:19 PM): go to the library
gretl88 (8:27:23 PM): stay in my house
gretl88 (8:27:26 PM): sit on the steps
gretl88 (8:27:29 PM): sit in the car
gretl88 (8:27:31 PM): I don't care
prince_charming_iowa (8:27:49 PM): well, duh, the latter is my strong interest. i want to hold you so badly
gretl88 (8:27:51 PM): and I'm feeling your trepidation...
gretl88 (8:28:05 PM): and understanding where it comes from
prince_charming_iowa (8:28:08 PM): latter as in "your house"--not the car
gretl88 (8:28:16 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (8:28:22 PM):
gretl88 (8:28:32 PM): but I'm also feeling like this HAS to happen
prince_charming_iowa (8:28:34 PM): gretchen? i feel so tenderfly toward you
gretl88 (8:28:35 PM): for both of us...
gretl88 (8:28:45 PM): I feel the same to you.
prince_charming_iowa (8:28:59 PM): i SO do NOT want to screw things up for you
gretl88 (8:29:13 PM): Honey, how do you think you're going to screw things up for me?
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:14 PM): i don't want to hurt you, gretchen
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:19 PM): i don't intend to
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:26 PM): but further intimacy implies something to me
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:34 PM): and that's what i'm struggling with
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:39 PM): i'm not trying to overthink this
gretl88 (8:29:43 PM): what does it imply?
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:49 PM): i don't
prince_charming_iowa (8:29:57 PM): i COULD fall madly for you
prince_charming_iowa (8:30:03 PM): no question about that
gretl88 (8:30:22 PM): I understant THAT believe me...
gretl88 (8:30:30 PM): given that I feel the same about you.
prince_charming_iowa (8:30:33 PM): yes, and that SCARES me
gretl88 (8:30:34 PM): BUT
prince_charming_iowa (8:30:44 PM): because i don't know what WE can do about it?
prince_charming_iowa (8:30:58 PM): yes yes yes
gretl88 (8:30:59 PM): we are both people of strong convictions, and adherence to our word, are we not?
prince_charming_iowa (8:31:03 PM): i see your impatience
gretl88 (8:31:07 PM):
gretl88 (8:31:12 PM): perceptive man
prince_charming_iowa (8:31:17 PM): yep
gretl88 (8:31:25 PM): My point here is...
gretl88 (8:31:36 PM): I'm not about to leave Paul for someone else. And you're not about to leave your family either.
prince_charming_iowa (8:31:53 PM): yes, but i don't have the same situation you do with paul, either
gretl88 (8:32:00 PM): I know that
gretl88 (8:32:04 PM): nobody does.
prince_charming_iowa (8:32:09 PM): this would not go over well, to put it EXTREMELY mildly
gretl88 (8:32:17 PM): Even *I* don't have the same situation I did with Paul.
prince_charming_iowa (8:32:27 PM): things have changed?
gretl88 (8:32:44 PM): for the better as far as you're concerned
prince_charming_iowa (8:32:51 PM): how so?
gretl88 (8:32:58 PM): restriction.
gretl88 (8:33:16 PM): remember what I told you?
gretl88 (8:33:21 PM): "I will never be the same"
gretl88 (8:33:23 PM): and I'm not
gretl88 (8:33:34 PM): I am, but I'm not.
prince_charming_iowa (8:33:34 PM): gretchen? i have a 30 min deadline by the way
gretl88 (8:33:39 PM): because?
prince_charming_iowa (8:33:41 PM): i can still leave at 9
prince_charming_iowa (8:33:47 PM): totally artificial
gretl88 (8:33:47 PM): and how long will I have?
prince_charming_iowa (8:34:03 PM): i'm just trying to do this conversation justice while giving myself time to see you
prince_charming_iowa (8:34:11 PM): you have until 4 am
gretl88 (8:34:24 PM): this conversation can be continued here you know.
prince_charming_iowa (8:34:37 PM): i know
prince_charming_iowa (8:34:46 PM): this is helping immensely already
gretl88 (8:35:04 PM): I'm glad.
prince_charming_iowa (8:35:08 PM): me, too
gretl88 (8:35:11 PM): (uncensored thought)
gretl88 (8:35:15 PM): GET YOUR ASS IN YOUR CAR!
prince_charming_iowa (8:35:24 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (8:35:28 PM): you are SO cute
prince_charming_iowa (8:35:35 PM): do you dare to ask me my uncensored thought?
gretl88 (8:35:38 PM): YES
gretl88 (8:35:41 PM): I want to know!
prince_charming_iowa (8:35:45 PM): brace yourself
prince_charming_iowa (8:35:51 PM): "i love you"
prince_charming_iowa (8:36:01 PM): sorry about that
prince_charming_iowa (8:36:08 PM): i'm censoring madly
gretl88 (8:36:12 PM): don
gretl88 (8:36:15 PM): don't
gretl88 (8:36:28 PM): please come to me.
prince_charming_iowa (8:36:37 PM): your understanding brings tears to my eyes, is all
prince_charming_iowa (8:36:43 PM): this really helps
gretl88 (8:36:49 PM): good
prince_charming_iowa (8:37:00 PM): makes me remember again how much and why i love talking to you
gretl88 (8:37:11 PM): I never forgot.
gretl88 (8:37:19 PM): I kept all your pages.
prince_charming_iowa (8:37:19 PM): yeah yeah yeah
prince_charming_iowa (8:37:28 PM):
gretl88 (8:37:33 PM): here's one...
prince_charming_iowa (8:37:39 PM): wow
gretl88 (8:38:08 PM): hmmm
gretl88 (8:38:16 PM): something about several dozen roses
prince_charming_iowa (8:38:17 PM): so much material to choose from?
gretl88 (8:38:19 PM): and the CR airport.
prince_charming_iowa (8:38:20 PM): i'm sweating
prince_charming_iowa (8:38:24 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (8:38:32 PM): i like THAT idea
prince_charming_iowa (8:38:42 PM): gretchen? you honestly melting me
prince_charming_iowa (8:38:47 PM): and i can't type
gretl88 (8:38:56 PM): *holds out arms*
gretl88 (8:39:05 PM): come over here and you won't have to
prince_charming_iowa (8:39:21 PM): ...here's a hypothetical
gretl88 (8:39:24 PM): yes?
prince_charming_iowa (8:39:30 PM): what if we saw each other on the street next week?
prince_charming_iowa (8:39:43 PM): what if you ran into me in my place of business?
gretl88 (8:40:06 PM): I would act like I'd met you somewhere, and it's nice to see you again.
gretl88 (8:40:07 PM): or
gretl88 (8:40:11 PM): if you prefer
gretl88 (8:40:19 PM): I'd act like I never saw you before in my life.
gretl88 (8:40:29 PM): which would be HARD but...
gretl88 (8:40:41 PM): hey, I'm an actress, it's all about a challenge
prince_charming_iowa (8:41:07 PM): would you settle for roses...and the des moines airport?
gretl88 (8:41:11 PM): quite
gretl88 (8:41:24 PM): I'd settle for you... and my front stoop.
prince_charming_iowa (8:41:54 PM): <===lost in thought! wow
gretl88 (8:42:53 PM): "you know, after I'm finished you might NEED to flee to Barbados. Will you be a fugitive with me?"
gretl88 (8:43:27 PM): you sent me that as part of a page the day I went to Ottumwa.
prince_charming_iowa (8:43:27 PM): i'm censoring that L-word again
prince_charming_iowa (8:43:29 PM): i apologize
gretl88 (8:43:32 PM): Why?
gretl88 (8:43:42 PM): I love you. Simple. I've never stopped
prince_charming_iowa (8:43:48 PM): i don't mean it manipulatively
prince_charming_iowa (8:44:01 PM): just telling you what's springing to my lips
gretl88 (8:44:27 PM): likewise.
prince_charming_iowa (8:44:31 PM): <==woozy
prince_charming_iowa (8:45:33 PM): ...
gretl88 (8:45:37 PM): I understand
gretl88 (8:45:41 PM): I was there a couple minutes ago
prince_charming_iowa (8:45:52 PM): gretchen?
gretl88 (8:45:54 PM): yes?
prince_charming_iowa (8:45:58 PM): let's go to barbados and not come back
gretl88 (8:46:05 PM): Ok
prince_charming_iowa (8:46:23 PM): the thought of several hours with you and then who the hell knows what then is killing me
prince_charming_iowa (8:46:41 PM): come on now, should i be censoring?
gretl88 (8:46:47 PM): you KNEW that would make me roll my eyes!
gretl88 (8:46:50 PM): no
prince_charming_iowa (8:46:53 PM): i DID
gretl88 (8:46:56 PM): but
gretl88 (8:47:09 PM): regrets...
prince_charming_iowa (8:47:16 PM): why regrets?
gretl88 (8:47:34 PM): If anyone asked me what regrets I have, they would be FEW
gretl88 (8:47:37 PM): and the main one?
gretl88 (8:47:38 PM): that night
gretl88 (8:47:42 PM): not taking you seriously
prince_charming_iowa (8:48:04 PM): about visiting you earlier?
gretl88 (8:48:05 PM): yes
prince_charming_iowa (8:48:20 PM): you are SO sensitive
prince_charming_iowa (8:48:32 PM): it makes my heart ache in all kinds of wonderful and scary ways
prince_charming_iowa (8:48:54 PM): is that your schoolteacher look?
gretl88 (8:48:57 PM): no
prince_charming_iowa (8:49:04 PM): like, "when is this guy going to get it?"
gretl88 (8:49:10 PM): no
gretl88 (8:49:14 PM): it's more my wistful
gretl88 (8:49:23 PM): "when is he going to come?"
gretl88 (8:49:58 PM): and *is* he going to come?
gretl88 (8:50:17 PM): going invisible
prince_charming_iowa (8:50:18 PM): ok, i'm swearing you to total honesty. question for you:
prince_charming_iowa (8:50:27 PM): thanks. ok
gretl88 (8:50:34 PM): I've never lied to you and I'm not about to now
prince_charming_iowa (8:50:50 PM): ok. do you have ANY concerns about me coming over? and if so, what?
gretl88 (8:51:19 PM): What springs to mind, honestly, is YOUR confusion or whatever it is that you're feeling (if you even know)
gretl88 (8:51:29 PM): I don't want YOU hurt anymore than you want me hurt.
prince_charming_iowa (8:51:51 PM): yeah yeah yeah
gretl88 (8:51:55 PM): I already know how I feel about you.
prince_charming_iowa (8:51:56 PM): that's a copout
gretl88 (8:52:05 PM): I know I won't want to let you go
prince_charming_iowa (8:52:05 PM): how about YOUR potential for hurt
prince_charming_iowa (8:52:10 PM): ok
gretl88 (8:52:12 PM): but
prince_charming_iowa (8:52:17 PM): likewise, gretchen
gretl88 (8:52:18 PM): I also know I WILL let you go
gretl88 (8:52:25 PM): my potential?
gretl88 (8:52:34 PM): I'm going to be brutal, my darling...
prince_charming_iowa (8:52:42 PM): thank you
gretl88 (8:52:47 PM): you cannot possibly hurt me more than you already have.
gretl88 (8:53:02 PM): there is no way to "cushion" that
prince_charming_iowa (8:53:05 PM): you said brutal, not lethal. ouch
gretl88 (8:53:17 PM): *sigh*
prince_charming_iowa (8:53:23 PM): darling?
gretl88 (8:53:24 PM): Can I tell you something?
gretl88 (8:53:25 PM): yes?
prince_charming_iowa (8:53:27 PM): yes
gretl88 (8:53:28 PM): you first
prince_charming_iowa (8:53:49 PM): my heart SO goes out to you, can see the look on your face and want to kiss your tears
prince_charming_iowa (8:54:06 PM): or whatever no crying necessary
gretl88 (8:54:13 PM): there ARE tears
gretl88 (8:54:23 PM): but they're staying where they are
gretl88 (8:54:45 PM): six minutes, my darling.
prince_charming_iowa (8:55:05 PM): ha! eight
prince_charming_iowa (8:55:11 PM): my love
gretl88 (8:55:13 PM): five according to MY computer!
gretl88 (8:55:16 PM): *siiiiiiigh*
prince_charming_iowa (8:55:20 PM): 9.5
gretl88 (8:55:28 PM): I admit I almost called you that but I censored.
gretl88 (8:55:37 PM): it's 8:55 here, I swear!
gretl88 (8:56:05 PM): 856
prince_charming_iowa (8:56:08 PM): smoke and mirrors. so what?
gretl88 (8:56:22 PM): YOU!
gretl88 (8:56:25 PM): kiss me
prince_charming_iowa (8:56:41 PM): kissing the screen, love of my life
gretl88 (8:56:46 PM): ohhhh
gretl88 (8:56:53 PM): NOW you're going to make me cry
prince_charming_iowa (8:57:17 PM): i like the serious looks, too, gretchen. they hurt more, though
prince_charming_iowa (8:57:30 PM): sweet wounds
prince_charming_iowa (8:57:35 PM): something like that
gretl88 (8:57:41 PM): 3 minutes
prince_charming_iowa (8:57:58 PM): that was a smile
gretl88 (8:58:08 PM): you know it, darling!
gretl88 (8:58:37 PM): *stomach growls*
prince_charming_iowa (8:58:45 PM): *snorts*
gretl88 (8:59:10 PM): well I haven't had dinner yet!
gretl88 (8:59:26 PM): the last thing I had to eat was a caramel filled chocolate egg around 3
gretl88 (8:59:31 PM): before that, nothing since 9
prince_charming_iowa (8:59:32 PM):
gretl88 (8:59:42 PM): hey laugh it up...
gretl88 (8:59:47 PM): but my clock says 8:59
gretl88 (9:00:09 PM): and that's 12 hours since I ate!
prince_charming_iowa (9:00:28 PM): let's see, three plus twelve...
prince_charming_iowa (9:00:34 PM): alright, honey
gretl88 (9:00:49 PM): alright what?
gretl88 (9:01:09 PM): <----poised to either cheer or cry or both
prince_charming_iowa (9:01:17 PM): where's the banging head against computer emoticon?
gretl88 (9:01:35 PM): they did away with that one because people were imitating it too often
prince_charming_iowa (9:01:41 PM): you know, that slow motion eyeblink
prince_charming_iowa (9:01:44 PM): ...
prince_charming_iowa (9:02:02 PM): of matt/jake/whateverhisname is exasperating me
prince_charming_iowa (9:02:32 PM): give me your thoughts, darling
prince_charming_iowa (9:02:36 PM): ALL of them
prince_charming_iowa (9:02:43 PM): in 50 words or less
gretl88 (9:03:11 PM): please come and see me and hug me and kiss me and love me so I can love you and I swear you won't regret it.
gretl88 (9:03:25 PM): no censoring there
prince_charming_iowa (9:03:35 PM): wow
prince_charming_iowa (9:03:44 PM): that's quite a closing argument
prince_charming_iowa (9:04:02 PM): combined with those sultry eyes
gretl88 (9:04:18 PM): How can you resist this face?
prince_charming_iowa (9:04:34 PM): ooooooooooooooooooooo. this is SO unfair
gretl88 (9:05:02 PM): please make a decision, please?
gretl88 (9:05:05 PM): either way
gretl88 (9:05:11 PM): you're killing me
prince_charming_iowa (9:06:00 PM): gretchen? the stakes feel way too high
prince_charming_iowa (9:06:07 PM): i like you too much. is that insane?
gretl88 (9:06:15 PM): yes
prince_charming_iowa (9:06:25 PM): *snorting*
prince_charming_iowa (9:06:29 PM): well, that's direct
gretl88 (9:06:43 PM): would you expect anything less of me?
prince_charming_iowa (9:07:49 PM): of course not
prince_charming_iowa (9:07:52 PM): gretchen?
prince_charming_iowa (9:07:56 PM): i feel like i'm hurting you already
prince_charming_iowa (9:08:02 PM): THIS is why i'm scared
gretl88 (9:08:10 PM): no more than you already have, as I said
prince_charming_iowa (9:08:42 PM): somehow that's not reassuring
gretl88 (9:08:47 PM): it's only the same hurt, again.
prince_charming_iowa (9:08:55 PM): damn it!
prince_charming_iowa (9:09:21 PM): this isn't a casual interest in you, gretchen
prince_charming_iowa (9:09:32 PM): that's why i'm not doing casual/spontaneous well
prince_charming_iowa (9:09:38 PM): this is the best i can do
prince_charming_iowa (9:09:42 PM): i've got to be honest with you
prince_charming_iowa (9:09:54 PM): maybe this'll cure you of me permanently
gretl88 (9:10:01 PM): what?
gretl88 (9:10:54 PM): maybe WHAT will cure me?
prince_charming_iowa (9:10:57 PM): this is all so much high drama
prince_charming_iowa (9:11:06 PM): and i'm frustrating you beyond belief
prince_charming_iowa (9:11:08 PM): i know it
prince_charming_iowa (9:11:39 PM): i can't help it, gretchen
gretl88 (9:11:44 PM): and yet, my darling... you could relieve that frustration instantly
prince_charming_iowa (9:12:04 PM): or intensify it
prince_charming_iowa (9:12:14 PM): and i don't trust that you know yourself well enough to be candid
gretl88 (9:12:49 PM): You think you know me better than I do?
prince_charming_iowa (9:13:19 PM): not necessarily. i'm not sure you're being completely candid with either of us right now
gretl88 (9:13:33 PM): what do you think I'm censoring?
gretl88 (9:13:48 PM): because maybe I am and don't know it, but I won't know it until you tell me
prince_charming_iowa (9:14:01 PM): i'm thinking of the "morning after"
prince_charming_iowa (9:14:08 PM): and THAT kind of hurt
prince_charming_iowa (9:14:13 PM): i don't want to be a one night stand
gretl88 (9:14:19 PM): the letting go part.
gretl88 (9:14:40 PM): Light of my heart, there is less than zero chance you could ever be that.
gretl88 (9:15:24 PM): Do you understand the effect you have on me? And that my frustration with you is all centered on YOU, on the power you wield over me, not on your situation?
prince_charming_iowa (9:16:00 PM): but gretchen? i don't want to wield any power over you! that tears me up
gretl88 (9:16:07 PM): It's not centered around the fact that you're not available, that you're married or anything else
gretl88 (9:16:25 PM): you wield a huge amount of power, my darling. How can you not?
prince_charming_iowa (9:16:25 PM): i'd love to take you to tahiti and never let you go...but aside from that scenario, i do NOT want to hurt you
gretl88 (9:16:50 PM): But you don't seem to understand... THIS hurts me more. This...
gretl88 (9:17:08 PM): it's like someone holds out your heart's desire to you... and yanks it back.
gretl88 (9:17:35 PM): your frustration and mine are different, my love.
prince_charming_iowa (9:18:07 PM): what's mine?
prince_charming_iowa (9:18:17 PM): <==mr self knowledge
gretl88 (9:18:28 PM): prince_charming_iowa: i'd love to take you to tahiti and never let you go...
gretl88 (9:18:34 PM): that
gretl88 (9:18:43 PM): you're projecting your own onto me, I think.
prince_charming_iowa (9:18:48 PM): right. whereas you just want my body
gretl88 (9:18:56 PM): I could laugh
gretl88 (9:19:03 PM): but I am deadly serious
prince_charming_iowa (9:19:03 PM): awww go ahead
gretl88 (9:19:05 PM): no
prince_charming_iowa (9:19:08 PM): about my body?
gretl88 (9:19:18 PM): you could be a brain in a jar for all I know
prince_charming_iowa (9:19:25 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (9:19:31 PM): i am ROLLING now
gretl88 (9:19:36 PM): good
prince_charming_iowa (9:19:39 PM): you caught me
gretl88 (9:19:57 PM): I figured that explained your reluctance to drive
gretl88 (9:20:03 PM): your caretaker must be on vacation
prince_charming_iowa (9:20:24 PM): no, the electronic bracelet beeps if i get more than 100 yards
gretl88 (9:20:41 PM): where's the bracelet? Around the lid of the jar?
prince_charming_iowa (9:20:55 PM): no, i'm on a work release program
gretl88 (9:21:00 PM): aha
prince_charming_iowa (9:21:01 PM): prison
prince_charming_iowa (9:21:47 PM): um, not really
prince_charming_iowa (9:21:50 PM): just to clarify
prince_charming_iowa (9:21:53 PM): gretchen?
gretl88 (9:21:56 PM): yes?
prince_charming_iowa (9:21:57 PM): you're MISERABLE
gretl88 (9:22:03 PM): yes I am
prince_charming_iowa (9:22:12 PM): how can this NOT affect me????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????/
gretl88 (9:22:24 PM): I'm sorry
prince_charming_iowa (9:23:38 PM): i want to see you
prince_charming_iowa (9:23:39 PM): now
prince_charming_iowa (9:23:42 PM): uncensored thought
gretl88 (9:23:57 PM): I would drive to CR if I had any idea where to go.
prince_charming_iowa (9:24:27 PM): i'll tell my wife it's a business meeting. no problem. we'll visit in the study
gretl88 (9:24:29 PM): Who am I kidding?
gretl88 (9:24:36 PM): I'd drive to Timbuktu
gretl88 (9:24:43 PM): under the ocean
gretl88 (9:24:46 PM): over the mountains
prince_charming_iowa (9:25:04 PM): i really can't breathe
prince_charming_iowa (9:25:16 PM): this is BEAUTIFUL
prince_charming_iowa (9:25:19 PM): but so MUCH pressure
prince_charming_iowa (9:25:28 PM): how can i NOT hurt you, gretchen?
gretl88 (9:25:39 PM): how can you be hurting me now?
prince_charming_iowa (9:25:47 PM): just slap me, would you?
prince_charming_iowa (9:25:49 PM): THEN kiss me
gretl88 (9:25:54 PM): If you'd come here I would
gretl88 (9:25:57 PM): or meet me halfway
gretl88 (9:26:02 PM): or meet me all the way
gretl88 (9:26:03 PM): or something
gretl88 (9:26:08 PM): but you won't
gretl88 (9:26:13 PM): Ahhhh
gretl88 (9:26:15 PM): another song...
prince_charming_iowa (9:28:40 PM): what are you singing, lover?
gretl88 (9:28:59 PM): Don't put your head in your hands now...
gretl88 (9:29:06 PM): "I Can't Make You Love Me"
prince_charming_iowa (9:29:50 PM): so what's halfway?
gretl88 (9:29:57 PM): Belle Plaine
gretl88 (9:30:09 PM): on the interstate
gretl88 (9:30:12 PM): exit 201
prince_charming_iowa (9:30:25 PM): wow. that was thought out
gretl88 (9:30:34 PM): I drive it every week, I should know
prince_charming_iowa (9:30:58 PM): how in the hell could i even leave you, gretchen? i'd NEVER get home?
prince_charming_iowa (9:31:14 PM): i feel sick and weak
gretl88 (9:31:16 PM): I'd push you out the door
gretl88 (9:31:29 PM): You of all people understand this...
prince_charming_iowa (9:31:31 PM): i'd resist
gretl88 (9:31:35 PM): that I love you enough to make you go
prince_charming_iowa (9:32:52 PM): i can't even THINK. this hurts thinking about it
gretl88 (9:33:05 PM): brb
gretl88 (9:35:39 PM): ok
gretl88 (9:36:29 PM): take a tylenol or something
prince_charming_iowa (9:36:47 PM): i'm laughing. mostly because you're NOT
prince_charming_iowa (9:36:50 PM): ouch
prince_charming_iowa (9:37:00 PM): you are SO mad
gretl88 (9:37:09 PM): I'm not mad
gretl88 (9:38:44 PM): I need to eat
gretl88 (9:38:56 PM): or I WILL pass out.
prince_charming_iowa (9:39:00 PM): gretchen? self-knowledge check. you're mad
prince_charming_iowa (9:39:09 PM): other stuff, too
gretl88 (9:39:11 PM): I'm hurt
prince_charming_iowa (9:39:15 PM): ok
gretl88 (9:39:16 PM): mad?
gretl88 (9:39:21 PM): no
prince_charming_iowa (9:39:22 PM): hurt isn't any better
gretl88 (9:39:23 PM): frustrated
gretl88 (9:39:29 PM): and
prince_charming_iowa (9:39:30 PM): disgusted?
gretl88 (9:39:37 PM): it's hard for me to be completely powerless
gretl88 (9:39:39 PM): completely
prince_charming_iowa (9:40:06 PM): tell me about it! i feel physically weak
gretl88 (9:40:17 PM): you know that's not what I mean
prince_charming_iowa (9:40:56 PM): no, it's a symptom of being emotionally drained, and HURT myself
gretl88 (9:41:21 PM): hurt why?
gretl88 (9:41:25 PM): brb
prince_charming_iowa (9:41:29 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (9:42:11 PM): GIVE ME THE BENEFIT OF THE DOUBT, WOULD YOU, GRETCHEN? I LOVE YOU. AND YOU ACT LIKE I'M TRYING TO HURT YOU. MY INTENTIONS ARE PRECISELY THE OPPOSITE
gretl88 (9:42:42 PM): I know they are
gretl88 (9:42:49 PM): but you hold the power to change mine
gretl88 (9:43:06 PM): and you feel that by exercising that you'll hurt me worse
prince_charming_iowa (9:43:09 PM): that's not fair
gretl88 (9:43:15 PM): I'm sorry
gretl88 (9:43:17 PM): but it's true.
prince_charming_iowa (9:43:21 PM): don't apologize
gretl88 (9:43:42 PM): cheese. *sad smile*
gretl88 (9:44:24 PM): See
prince_charming_iowa (9:44:32 PM): i did
prince_charming_iowa (9:44:34 PM): i love cheese
gretl88 (9:44:36 PM): it's not fair that you can see me sitting here eating my cheese...
gretl88 (9:44:37 PM): I know
prince_charming_iowa (9:44:44 PM): no, i LIKE cheese. i LOVE you!!
gretl88 (9:44:45 PM): it's one of the things we talked about
gretl88 (9:45:19 PM): cojack
prince_charming_iowa (9:45:29 PM): muenster
gretl88 (9:45:46 PM): no you're not a monster.
prince_charming_iowa (9:46:01 PM):
gretl88 (9:46:05 PM): Y
gretl88 (9:46:39 PM): You know what hurts? That I'm going to wake up tomorrow and feel worse than I possibly could have if you were to be here.
gretl88 (9:46:45 PM): completely uncensored, that
prince_charming_iowa (9:47:03 PM): me, too, in the short term, gretchen
prince_charming_iowa (9:47:12 PM): i can't shake that it would be very hurtful, though
prince_charming_iowa (9:50:00 PM): dont' go
gretl88 (9:50:11 PM): you don't need to watch this
prince_charming_iowa (9:50:14 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (9:50:16 PM): but don't leave
gretl88 (9:50:23 PM): why?
prince_charming_iowa (9:51:43 PM): ever uncensored thought i share is going to hurt more because i'm going to say things about how i long to see you, hold you, kiss you, love you, caress you...yes, undress you, and gently and lingeringly make love to you, gretchen
gretl88 (9:52:27 PM): it's going to hurt more? Why?
gretl88 (9:52:39 PM): because you could be doing it?
prince_charming_iowa (9:52:40 PM): where would we meet in belle plaine?
gretl88 (9:52:47 PM): At the north side gas station
prince_charming_iowa (9:52:52 PM): and then what?
gretl88 (9:52:59 PM): and there is a Sleep Inn right there
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:04 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:07 PM): wow
gretl88 (9:53:09 PM): GO ahead and laugh
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:14 PM): i'm not laughing
gretl88 (9:53:16 PM): but I stop there most weeks.
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:17 PM): why would you say that?
gretl88 (9:53:25 PM): because I know this.
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:25 PM): to meet somebody?
gretl88 (9:53:26 PM): no
gretl88 (9:53:34 PM): to get something to drink and go to the bathroom
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:39 PM):
gretl88 (9:53:40 PM): at the gas station, you dork
gretl88 (9:53:43 PM): it's halfway
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:46 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (9:53:48 PM): ok. thanks
gretl88 (9:54:16 PM): so, 11? It's a date? The gas station north of the interstate?
prince_charming_iowa (9:54:24 PM): exit 201?
gretl88 (9:54:26 PM): yes
prince_charming_iowa (9:54:37 PM): damn
gretl88 (9:55:20 PM): that's not the answer I was looking for
prince_charming_iowa (9:55:34 PM): it's getting closer to the right answer...
gretl88 (9:55:44 PM): three little letters
gretl88 (9:55:49 PM): that's four.
gretl88 (9:55:50 PM):
prince_charming_iowa (9:55:53 PM): wow?
gretl88 (9:55:58 PM): no
gretl88 (9:56:01 PM): starts with y
gretl88 (9:56:04 PM): ends with s
prince_charming_iowa (9:56:05 PM): yow!
gretl88 (9:56:09 PM): and an e between
prince_charming_iowa (9:56:21 PM): i'm working on it
prince_charming_iowa (9:58:26 PM): gretchen? i'm worried about my wife, too. i just can't risk ruining what i have
prince_charming_iowa (9:58:38 PM): i'm SO sick
gretl88 (9:58:45 PM): and just out of curiosity what would ruin your relationship there?
prince_charming_iowa (9:59:14 PM): out of curiousity, huh? sounds like a challenge
gretl88 (10:00:00 PM): *shrug* You can take it as one, but it's the truth... I'm curious as to exactly what you foresee happening that would "ruin" what you have.
prince_charming_iowa (10:01:13 PM): i don't really want to get into that, gretchen
gretl88 (10:01:35 PM): that's truly unfair.
prince_charming_iowa (10:01:43 PM): is it? i don't mean it to be
gretl88 (10:01:46 PM): it is
gretl88 (10:02:27 PM): I can't do this.
gretl88 (10:05:42 PM): All I am doing is staring at the screen, wondering why you won't give me any real answers...
gretl88 (10:05:48 PM): and it HURTS
prince_charming_iowa (10:05:54 PM): i don't know where to start, gretchen
prince_charming_iowa (10:06:00 PM): i don't have any more answers than before.
prince_charming_iowa (10:06:08 PM): i guess it IS the same hurt
prince_charming_iowa (10:06:13 PM): and i'm so sorry i've reopened it
prince_charming_iowa (10:06:16 PM): for BOTH of us
gretl88 (10:06:18 PM): you never gave me any answers before when I asked about this.
gretl88 (10:06:35 PM): Your answer was the same, that you didn't want to go into it.
prince_charming_iowa (10:07:16 PM): i don't think so, but i suppose you've got the documentation to support your recollection (weak smile)
gretl88 (10:07:25 PM): Don't you understand? I will do anything, up to and including being the one to leave this time, to keep you from hurting...
gretl88 (10:07:28 PM): always
gretl88 (10:07:40 PM): to keep you from hurting, in the long run
gretl88 (10:08:03 PM): and maybe what I should have done is just shot down the idea of meeting, because I knew it wasn't the right thing for you
prince_charming_iowa (10:08:30 PM): i'm sorry, gretchen
gretl88 (10:08:31 PM): But sometimes, I AM selfish, intensely so, and this is one of those times... and I believed that I could soothe anything in your soul.
prince_charming_iowa (10:08:32 PM): i'm so so sorry
gretl88 (10:08:38 PM): *shrug*
gretl88 (10:08:42 PM): it doesn't matter.
prince_charming_iowa (10:08:46 PM): *snort*
prince_charming_iowa (10:08:50 PM): it doe
prince_charming_iowa (10:08:52 PM): does
prince_charming_iowa (10:08:55 PM): but i don't know what to say
gretl88 (10:11:23 PM): I just want to get in my car and drive
gretl88 (10:11:36 PM): I don't want to be here right now
prince_charming_iowa (10:12:11 PM): i'm sorry
prince_charming_iowa (10:13:22 PM): thanks, gretchen
gretl88 (10:14:02 PM): I am going to drive. I am going to drive east. I am going to Belle Plaine. I will be there for 45 minutes and then I am either going to drive home or I am going to keep driving
gretl88 (10:14:43 PM): whether you are there or not, that is what I am going to do.
prince_charming_iowa (10:14:43 PM): are you serious?
gretl88 (10:14:44 PM): yes
gretl88 (10:15:05 PM): what the hell?
gretl88 (10:16:35 PM): *shrug* I'm going
gretl88 (10:16:38 PM): see you, or not
prince_charming_iowa (10:17:17 PM): i'm sorry
prince_charming_iowa (10:17:23 PM): i saw you were typing a message
prince_charming_iowa (10:17:25 PM): and i was waiting
prince_charming_iowa (10:17:35 PM): my connection was on, but i got booted off
gretl88 (10:17:39 PM): ah
prince_charming_iowa (10:17:41 PM): the messenger
gretl88 (10:17:53 PM): I'm going, sweetheart
gretl88 (10:17:55 PM): I love you
gretl88 (10:17:59 PM): if you're there, then I'll see you
gretl88 (10:18:03 PM): if you're not, I won't.
gretl88 (10:18:17 PM): Either way, this is a way for ME to regain some power for myself.
gretl88 (10:18:20 PM): And I need that
gretl88 (10:18:22 PM): badly
prince_charming_iowa (10:18:26 PM): 11:30?
gretl88 (10:18:28 PM): yes
gretl88 (10:18:42 PM): bye, my darling.
prince_charming_iowa (10:18:49 PM): take your cell phone
prince_charming_iowa (10:19:05 PM): you're driving a gray oldsmobile?
prince_charming_iowa (10:19:23 PM): are you there?
gretl88 (10:19:30 PM): yes leaving
gretl88 (10:19:30 PM): now
gretl88 (10:19:41 PM): I have my phone and yes that's what I'm driving
gretl88 (10:20:13 PM): I will be at the gas station on the north side at 11:30
prince_charming_iowa (10:20:20 PM): i will see you there, gretchen
gretl88 (10:20:21 PM): The Hitching Post or something like that...
prince_charming_iowa (10:20:25 PM): ok
prince_charming_iowa (10:20:26 PM): yes
gretl88 (10:20:30 PM): bye
prince_charming_iowa (10:20:34 PM): bye
prince_charming_iowa (10:22:55 PM): i'm on my way, gretchen
Yahoo! Messenger: prince_charming_iowa has logged out. (8/18/2003 10:28 PM)