an essay
this is the first creative writing that i've done in a while. i'd love to hear what you think. (remember, be kind-ish b/c this is somewhat new.) i'm not sure if it's really finished, but i'm posting it anyway.
Leading by Truthful Living
3:00pm, Thursday afternoon. I’m sitting in a dim classroom looking at slides of contemporary African art and I would give anything to be sipping a non-fat vanilla latte right now. My body is saying it needs that caffeine. My brain is thinking about how a distraction would help me make it through this class. I think about the way the heat would permeate through the cardboard cup and warm my fingers. I think about the smell and how it would take a while to sip a hot drink, making the enjoyment (and distraction) last longer.
Yet I’m sitting here in class without a comforting, caffeine-filled beverage, not because the line at the coffee kiosk was too long, or because I didn’t have the time to stop while crossing campus, or because I don’t have the money. I’m not trying to be healthier. (Although not being addicted to caffeine would probably be better for me.) I’m not lobbying for fair trade coffee. (I’m proud to say that our university already offers it.) I’m forgoing my mid-afternoon pick-me-up because *gasp!* what would someone say if they saw me with a Starbucks cup in my hand right now?!
Why would anyone have a problem with you drinking coffee, Sarah? you might be wondering. Normally there wouldn’t be even a passing thought, much less a judgment. Except that this is not quite a normal occasion. For two weeks I have committed to drinking water as my only beverage in order to raise money to drill clean water wells in African communities. My friend Keri and I learned about Blood:Water Mission and their 1000 Wells Project and we wanted to mobilize our college campus to support this cause. In order to raise money, 1000 Wells challenges people to substitute water for other beverages and give the money they save to the project in order to build wells. Simple enough, right? No extra money out of your pocket and all you have to do is drink water. We were thrilled that about 100 students on our small campus signed-up to support the cause through the solidarity of drinking water and the generous donation of their money.
Of course there were some catches involved. Lots of people wanted to join the challenge, but they didn’t think the extreme irritability caused by giving up their morning coffee would be worth the effort. When approached with this dilemma, I offered this advice: every time you spend money on a drink that you “need,” put that much money aside for your donation; that way you’re still giving the money that you would have if you had foregone the drink. Ok, that’s one way to get around the problem…for some people.
So why don’t I just follow my own advice? I could have at least justified getting a plain coffee or hot tea instead of an expensive latte. And I would have still remained faithful to donating the monetary equivalent towards the wells. The reason is one cold, hard word: hypocrisy. In the first place, I’m a known leader in this cause. Being that I go to a school with a population of merely 2200 students, faces, if not full names, are easily recognizable. I can’t expect other people to be committed to something if I can’t even commit to it myself. Secondly, even if I armed myself with justifiability, I still wouldn’t be able to justify myself to everyone. I’m not wearing a sign that says, “Even though I am drinking this coffee I am still donating lots of money to save African people so don’t judge me. And PS - I'm giving more money than you.” Besides being completely self-righteous, the option of explaining myself is just not realistically feasible. Even if I could stop and tell every person that “it doesn’t look like it seems” and that “I have my reasons,” I would still be jeopardizing the fullness of my commitment and integrity.
This example is a small microcosm of my life as a follower of Christ. As a leader, I want to lead by truthful living. Not only are my public actions under scrutiny, but my private motivations are under the inspection of my heart. See, my heart feels the most real and secure when I am whole. I am whole when my inner self is the same as my outer self. Truth must reside first in my heart, producing a life that is genuine. I yearn for other people to know the healing, restorative, and transformational power of Jesus Christ in their lives. The way that God wants me to show that right now is by allowing Jesus to heal, restore, and transform me in my core. Then I am free to live from my center, the place where Jesus is. Living from a heart centered on Christ is truthful living and by living truthfully the reality of Christ is made known to the world.
Leading by Truthful Living
3:00pm, Thursday afternoon. I’m sitting in a dim classroom looking at slides of contemporary African art and I would give anything to be sipping a non-fat vanilla latte right now. My body is saying it needs that caffeine. My brain is thinking about how a distraction would help me make it through this class. I think about the way the heat would permeate through the cardboard cup and warm my fingers. I think about the smell and how it would take a while to sip a hot drink, making the enjoyment (and distraction) last longer.
Yet I’m sitting here in class without a comforting, caffeine-filled beverage, not because the line at the coffee kiosk was too long, or because I didn’t have the time to stop while crossing campus, or because I don’t have the money. I’m not trying to be healthier. (Although not being addicted to caffeine would probably be better for me.) I’m not lobbying for fair trade coffee. (I’m proud to say that our university already offers it.) I’m forgoing my mid-afternoon pick-me-up because *gasp!* what would someone say if they saw me with a Starbucks cup in my hand right now?!
Why would anyone have a problem with you drinking coffee, Sarah? you might be wondering. Normally there wouldn’t be even a passing thought, much less a judgment. Except that this is not quite a normal occasion. For two weeks I have committed to drinking water as my only beverage in order to raise money to drill clean water wells in African communities. My friend Keri and I learned about Blood:Water Mission and their 1000 Wells Project and we wanted to mobilize our college campus to support this cause. In order to raise money, 1000 Wells challenges people to substitute water for other beverages and give the money they save to the project in order to build wells. Simple enough, right? No extra money out of your pocket and all you have to do is drink water. We were thrilled that about 100 students on our small campus signed-up to support the cause through the solidarity of drinking water and the generous donation of their money.
Of course there were some catches involved. Lots of people wanted to join the challenge, but they didn’t think the extreme irritability caused by giving up their morning coffee would be worth the effort. When approached with this dilemma, I offered this advice: every time you spend money on a drink that you “need,” put that much money aside for your donation; that way you’re still giving the money that you would have if you had foregone the drink. Ok, that’s one way to get around the problem…for some people.
So why don’t I just follow my own advice? I could have at least justified getting a plain coffee or hot tea instead of an expensive latte. And I would have still remained faithful to donating the monetary equivalent towards the wells. The reason is one cold, hard word: hypocrisy. In the first place, I’m a known leader in this cause. Being that I go to a school with a population of merely 2200 students, faces, if not full names, are easily recognizable. I can’t expect other people to be committed to something if I can’t even commit to it myself. Secondly, even if I armed myself with justifiability, I still wouldn’t be able to justify myself to everyone. I’m not wearing a sign that says, “Even though I am drinking this coffee I am still donating lots of money to save African people so don’t judge me. And PS - I'm giving more money than you.” Besides being completely self-righteous, the option of explaining myself is just not realistically feasible. Even if I could stop and tell every person that “it doesn’t look like it seems” and that “I have my reasons,” I would still be jeopardizing the fullness of my commitment and integrity.
This example is a small microcosm of my life as a follower of Christ. As a leader, I want to lead by truthful living. Not only are my public actions under scrutiny, but my private motivations are under the inspection of my heart. See, my heart feels the most real and secure when I am whole. I am whole when my inner self is the same as my outer self. Truth must reside first in my heart, producing a life that is genuine. I yearn for other people to know the healing, restorative, and transformational power of Jesus Christ in their lives. The way that God wants me to show that right now is by allowing Jesus to heal, restore, and transform me in my core. Then I am free to live from my center, the place where Jesus is. Living from a heart centered on Christ is truthful living and by living truthfully the reality of Christ is made known to the world.