why does life have to be so complicated?
you know what really pisses me off? well, unfortunately for some i am going to tell you. it's taken me a long time, but i am finally finding me, and certain people seem to think that the things that i am doing and saying, are "selfish", but they are not.
Everything that i have been doing for the last 6-8 years or so has been a compromise. The thing is, i don't care about compromising for that person, or anyone for that matter, anymore. What i care about is caring for my son. The thing that isn't being seen is that i am looking for the big picture; i'm looking at things in the long run. I want to be able to provide for my son, not just be able to make enough to get by on and make sure that I have just enough money for that month or whatever.
This person once told me that because i wanted to take my son to my parents house twice in one week that "every day doesn't have to be an adventure" (or something very close to that), and my response to that was that going to spend time with my child's family wasn't an adventure, it was part of being a family... But, when you're almost 4 years old, everything DOES need to be an adventure. Everything needs to be a new experience, or an educational experience....I "watch" my son at his dad's house. I can't even give him a glass of soy milk, or orange juice, or a snack, without his dad's consent....and then his GIRLFRIEND (which is a whole different story) thinks that SHE can step in and tell me what i can and can't do or what i should do with my son.
So, in the same respect, but on a different note, i have been denied overnights with my son because he (his dad) has deemed me "irresponsible" although, he is at the same "responsibiliy" level as i am. He is no different in any responsibility level except that he has my son. In fact, my parents even pay for some of the things he relies upon, even though we are no longer together. My parents pay for everything for the car; the loan payments, the insurance, the repairs. He in turn uses this car to deliver pizza, while i use this car to get back and forth to school, to my job from the west side to my job (at a bar down town) to home, and to his house to spend time with my son, and back home. My parents also pay for his cell phone. The deal was supposed to be that he paid for the part of the bill that cost us extra for his phone, but because my mom is nice and only says something about it every once in a while, he never has to pay for it. it think it has ammounted to 2 payments at the most he has chipped in for...out of almost 2 years or so.
He's made my son vegan, and gives him little to no sugar or fat, which can be as detrimental as giving him too much fat or sugar or meat... A vegan diet for a child is just as bad as a regular diet. Believe it or not i HAVE done my research, and there is just as much propaganda for vegetarian/vegan diets as there is for a balanced meat/vegetables/fruit, etc. diet. Really, it just depends on which website you're looking at or which book you read...(or really which "scene" you're involved in, which is what I really think is going on under the surface...) I have no problem with a vegan or vegetarian diet, as long as you're smart about it! my kid looks like an ethiopian child. he wieghs about the right amount for a kid his age, but he has a belly that protrudes like a malnutritioned child for fuck's sake!
I realise that many (and most) books/articles and what have you are very biased, but when making a decision for your CHILD you must weigh all of your options REGARDLESS of YOUR OWN OPINIONS AND BELIEFS.
I'm getting off track, and i apologise...but for those of you who give a shit you can look at this, and the relatedlinks at the bottom. i will make another post with more links and whatnot from both sides of this issue so that no one can say that i'm just being an ass...
http://www.mercola.com/2005/feb/26/soy_myths.htm
anyway, i'ts obviously late, and i'm not happy, but things are hopefully on the up and up...
so i say to everyone who i havn't spoken to in a while...i hope everything is well with you. Things for the most part are good with me (except for the obvious). Being in school kicks ass (although the level they enrolled me at is waaaaay to easy for me); i am glad to be back.
Hopefully i will talk to some of you online. If not, then you should know how to get ahold of me.
.beverly.
Everything that i have been doing for the last 6-8 years or so has been a compromise. The thing is, i don't care about compromising for that person, or anyone for that matter, anymore. What i care about is caring for my son. The thing that isn't being seen is that i am looking for the big picture; i'm looking at things in the long run. I want to be able to provide for my son, not just be able to make enough to get by on and make sure that I have just enough money for that month or whatever.
This person once told me that because i wanted to take my son to my parents house twice in one week that "every day doesn't have to be an adventure" (or something very close to that), and my response to that was that going to spend time with my child's family wasn't an adventure, it was part of being a family... But, when you're almost 4 years old, everything DOES need to be an adventure. Everything needs to be a new experience, or an educational experience....I "watch" my son at his dad's house. I can't even give him a glass of soy milk, or orange juice, or a snack, without his dad's consent....and then his GIRLFRIEND (which is a whole different story) thinks that SHE can step in and tell me what i can and can't do or what i should do with my son.
So, in the same respect, but on a different note, i have been denied overnights with my son because he (his dad) has deemed me "irresponsible" although, he is at the same "responsibiliy" level as i am. He is no different in any responsibility level except that he has my son. In fact, my parents even pay for some of the things he relies upon, even though we are no longer together. My parents pay for everything for the car; the loan payments, the insurance, the repairs. He in turn uses this car to deliver pizza, while i use this car to get back and forth to school, to my job from the west side to my job (at a bar down town) to home, and to his house to spend time with my son, and back home. My parents also pay for his cell phone. The deal was supposed to be that he paid for the part of the bill that cost us extra for his phone, but because my mom is nice and only says something about it every once in a while, he never has to pay for it. it think it has ammounted to 2 payments at the most he has chipped in for...out of almost 2 years or so.
He's made my son vegan, and gives him little to no sugar or fat, which can be as detrimental as giving him too much fat or sugar or meat... A vegan diet for a child is just as bad as a regular diet. Believe it or not i HAVE done my research, and there is just as much propaganda for vegetarian/vegan diets as there is for a balanced meat/vegetables/fruit, etc. diet. Really, it just depends on which website you're looking at or which book you read...(or really which "scene" you're involved in, which is what I really think is going on under the surface...) I have no problem with a vegan or vegetarian diet, as long as you're smart about it! my kid looks like an ethiopian child. he wieghs about the right amount for a kid his age, but he has a belly that protrudes like a malnutritioned child for fuck's sake!
I realise that many (and most) books/articles and what have you are very biased, but when making a decision for your CHILD you must weigh all of your options REGARDLESS of YOUR OWN OPINIONS AND BELIEFS.
I'm getting off track, and i apologise...but for those of you who give a shit you can look at this, and the relatedlinks at the bottom. i will make another post with more links and whatnot from both sides of this issue so that no one can say that i'm just being an ass...
http://www.mercola.com/2005/feb/26/soy_myths.htm
anyway, i'ts obviously late, and i'm not happy, but things are hopefully on the up and up...
so i say to everyone who i havn't spoken to in a while...i hope everything is well with you. Things for the most part are good with me (except for the obvious). Being in school kicks ass (although the level they enrolled me at is waaaaay to easy for me); i am glad to be back.
Hopefully i will talk to some of you online. If not, then you should know how to get ahold of me.
.beverly.