feeling like I belong no where

[eyemajeanyus]

Yesterday night and to day I Feel:
-Confussion...
-Betrail...
-Sorrow...
-Deceptiveness...
-Lied to...
-Anger...
-Fustration...
-Lifeless...
-Worthless...
-Lost...
-Forgotten...
-Invisible...
-Intimidated...
-Envy...
-Worried...
-Pathetic...
-Guilty...
-Helpless...
-Numb...
-Clueless...
-Lonely...
-Restless...
-Meaningless...
-Rejected...
-Ditzy...
-Sore...
-Stressed...
-Dizzy...
-Crushed...
-Poor...
-Filthy...
-Dirty...
-Cold...
-Stuck in the middle...
-Screwed...
-Crappy...
-Curious...
-Unsecure...
-Messed up...
-Mixed up in the Swirl of colors...
-Disconnected to the World...
-Like i have just been ridiculed...(but i haven't been)
-Like my life is worthless...
-Like no one will understand...(but i know they will)
-Like i can talk to no one...
-Lost my sense of direction of where to go, and whom i belong with...
-I Feel like if i were to go no one would remember me or even care;?
-Releived...

*
Just not to

I Hope I am....
seeing things unclearly
or
not seeing the fully picture

i wish i am not right... but if i was then this shit isn't worth it....or is it...( i hope i make the right design... and i hope i can be seeing clearly again and see the full picture)

I have notied something strainge happening to everyone around me... or who was once around me....
it seems like chris and i hardly ever talk anymore... (and ...)

but as i sit here writing this i cannot keep my mind off it, and yet so many questions i have but cannot be answer.

§ean