nothin' lasts forever, even cold november rain
Andy took me to dinner last night and to see 'Number 23' it was really good. He also got my birthday present, 'Grey's Anatomy: Season 2' it was $60.00 that made me happy, finally getting something. He also got the new Kittie Cd, they've turn into real sissys, or pussies lol....kitties, pussies get it? I know I'm so funny. He got something elso too, can't remember. It was funny, the guy that rang him up said, "I really hope the Grey's Anatomys not for you!" cause of the metal cds.
He stayed with me a little while afterwards and we were fighting terribly. We didn't speak or look at eachother for maybe an hour. Then he said, "I believe you really hate me", then I went into hysterics, crying really bad, sniffling, all that gross stuff. He kept trying to console me and I didn't want him to, and he kept asking me why and I said, "Because you don't think I love you" I didn't talk anymore for a long time and we just laid in bed not touching eachother until almost 2. And he was getting up to leave and he almost fell on the floor, shaking, drenched in sweat, and he said he was so sick he didn't know if his sugar was high or low. So I was panicing. I was trying to calm down. I took his shirt and shoes off and turned the fan on. I got really scared b/c if he was high I didn't want food to get him higher, but if he was low I didn't want him to have a seizure. If it was anyone else I'd know what to do. I doubted myself, I'd hate to be wrong with him. So I gave him lemonade and crackers. I figured if he's high like 200, it won't go much higher maybe 240, but if he's really low like below 40 food could really bounce him up to a regular number like 80. Besides he was sweating and shaking. He got better really fast. I don't like when that happens.
I went yesterday and got applications at The Blue Heron Assisted Living in Greensboro, I didn't even know there was one, but it's on Hill Rd. right off Union Rd. it was weird, I went inside and I saw no one, it was barren and stunk like a nasty nursing home.
There was only one women working, so I'm guessing there isn't that many residents, they didn't even have applications I just told her my name and number, it was creepy. She appeared out of no where when I turned around and I almost jumped out of my skin.
I went to Ruxton....God forbid! I doubt they'll hire me after the spat with Debbie. I would really love to work there though, I care about the residents, I got really close to them.
Tomorrow I'm going to turn in my application at Homestead Manor, I'd love to work there too. It was nice and easy.
I'm also going to go to Caroline (not the most favorable place I'd be). And my favorite, The Gables!
This feels good, I'm actually looking forward to being older and taking responsibility, and getting a good job at a nursing home.
I turned in my application at the hospital for the summer internship program. It's between me and this other girl in my class. I still hold a nasty grudge against her. She's too good to wipe asses, I don't think she cares enough about people, and I'm hurt because Mrs. Eser has told me and people at the hospital numerous times that I am the best, but she got the best in class award at the end. It makes me mad. I deserved it. Oh well. If I get this internship, I will be the best. She can take her richy American Eagle "I care what people think about me and my image" I bleach my teeth, my hair has to be perfectly straight, I tan so much I had to get a cancerous mole removed ass to Salisbury Un. That's okay but I will outshine you, because I am smart, and a good person and I have a good bright future to look forward to even though the odds are stacked against me. I'm also still tremendously hurt by Mrs. Eser, for the award thing but also for belitting me for tattoos- she gave me a hug the other day when I gave her my fingerprints and said she missed me, I miss her too it brings tears to my eyes because I admire her more than anyone else because of the endeavors shes reached and her guidance to me, but I wanted to tell her that she, more than anyone ought to know that my tattoos don't have anything to do with the kind of person I am, because they don't mean I'm less competent at what I do, at taking care of people, because I love them and I do my best, I'm a good person tattoos have nothing to do with anything, I see it as, your bodys a vessel, it only carries your spirit and true beings, no one misses your body, they miss the life inside you, your body doesn't make you a person......but it's extremely sad that people can't help but judge you on your appearance, everyone does it...but I wish we really didn't it does hurt, and makes me doubt what I want to do. Ugh....I'm going to cry.
He stayed with me a little while afterwards and we were fighting terribly. We didn't speak or look at eachother for maybe an hour. Then he said, "I believe you really hate me", then I went into hysterics, crying really bad, sniffling, all that gross stuff. He kept trying to console me and I didn't want him to, and he kept asking me why and I said, "Because you don't think I love you" I didn't talk anymore for a long time and we just laid in bed not touching eachother until almost 2. And he was getting up to leave and he almost fell on the floor, shaking, drenched in sweat, and he said he was so sick he didn't know if his sugar was high or low. So I was panicing. I was trying to calm down. I took his shirt and shoes off and turned the fan on. I got really scared b/c if he was high I didn't want food to get him higher, but if he was low I didn't want him to have a seizure. If it was anyone else I'd know what to do. I doubted myself, I'd hate to be wrong with him. So I gave him lemonade and crackers. I figured if he's high like 200, it won't go much higher maybe 240, but if he's really low like below 40 food could really bounce him up to a regular number like 80. Besides he was sweating and shaking. He got better really fast. I don't like when that happens.
I went yesterday and got applications at The Blue Heron Assisted Living in Greensboro, I didn't even know there was one, but it's on Hill Rd. right off Union Rd. it was weird, I went inside and I saw no one, it was barren and stunk like a nasty nursing home.
There was only one women working, so I'm guessing there isn't that many residents, they didn't even have applications I just told her my name and number, it was creepy. She appeared out of no where when I turned around and I almost jumped out of my skin.
I went to Ruxton....God forbid! I doubt they'll hire me after the spat with Debbie. I would really love to work there though, I care about the residents, I got really close to them.
Tomorrow I'm going to turn in my application at Homestead Manor, I'd love to work there too. It was nice and easy.
I'm also going to go to Caroline (not the most favorable place I'd be). And my favorite, The Gables!
This feels good, I'm actually looking forward to being older and taking responsibility, and getting a good job at a nursing home.
I turned in my application at the hospital for the summer internship program. It's between me and this other girl in my class. I still hold a nasty grudge against her. She's too good to wipe asses, I don't think she cares enough about people, and I'm hurt because Mrs. Eser has told me and people at the hospital numerous times that I am the best, but she got the best in class award at the end. It makes me mad. I deserved it. Oh well. If I get this internship, I will be the best. She can take her richy American Eagle "I care what people think about me and my image" I bleach my teeth, my hair has to be perfectly straight, I tan so much I had to get a cancerous mole removed ass to Salisbury Un. That's okay but I will outshine you, because I am smart, and a good person and I have a good bright future to look forward to even though the odds are stacked against me. I'm also still tremendously hurt by Mrs. Eser, for the award thing but also for belitting me for tattoos- she gave me a hug the other day when I gave her my fingerprints and said she missed me, I miss her too it brings tears to my eyes because I admire her more than anyone else because of the endeavors shes reached and her guidance to me, but I wanted to tell her that she, more than anyone ought to know that my tattoos don't have anything to do with the kind of person I am, because they don't mean I'm less competent at what I do, at taking care of people, because I love them and I do my best, I'm a good person tattoos have nothing to do with anything, I see it as, your bodys a vessel, it only carries your spirit and true beings, no one misses your body, they miss the life inside you, your body doesn't make you a person......but it's extremely sad that people can't help but judge you on your appearance, everyone does it...but I wish we really didn't it does hurt, and makes me doubt what I want to do. Ugh....I'm going to cry.