Continue of crap

[eyeluvducks17]

Well I just couldn't leave it all unsettled so I thought I should just finish what I was saying earlier. I really just get so mad because I don't have what everyone else have. I don't have that best friend who always calls me and talks and ask what I am doing and how I am doing. I don't have a mom who sits me down and actually asks me how do I feel. And I want that. I want to finally tell my mom that I was really mad at her around the time my aunt died because she wasn't with me or there for me in a sense. She didn't sit me down so we could talk about it. She knew I loved her as much as she did and that it hurt just as much as it did for her. I hated that she never came home that night and i hated that she didn't tell me. Why couldn't she just come home and told me. Why? I had to find out from my step-dad and he told me it through a door. I was mad at the world because there are stupid people out there just throwing their life away by doing drugs and drinking themselves to death thinking it is so fun. While all along hurting themselves.And for what. If they didn't want their life they should of let God take them and not my aunt. She wasn't even at my graduation. And she had been talking about coming to it that year before it.I can't stand some things and maybe my life want be the way I want it but I refuse to live my life in regret. Meaning that is why I haven't really settled on what I wanted to do for a living because I don't want to be stuck at a job I hate for the rest of my life. I guess that is also why I haven't dated because I don't want to settle for a guy just because I want one. I want one who actually cares. I don't want a stupid relationship based on sex. I don't want teen love. I just want a guy who understands me, listens, and cares. I want a guy to be my boyfriend as well as my best friend. I can't help what I want. I can't help that I have standards. And I can't help that I have goals for how my life is going to turn out. I feel if I didn't I would be worst of. And I just wouldn't want my kids in the end to be like me. To have no dad, no friend, and no kind of sense for anything. I want them to have something better and it starts with me. So this is my farewell. But it has been fun. Love, Peace and Hair Grease.

Katria Ann Harper