Get some rest?

[eyelubewe]

I miss my brother. I don’t like to talk about his death, because I usually end up using it as a justification for why I’m acting stupid or yelling for “no good reason.” But I’ve decided it is a good reason. When someone dies people give you the courtesy three weeks to mourn and be irrational, but after that they figure they’ve given you your time

Comments

[fewerwords]

Good god, fantastic lady, you don't owe anyone anything. You don't have to explain or justify yourself. We're allowed to have bad days, and our bad days are allowed to be because of things that happened more than three weeks ago, or more than three years ago, or in another fucking lifetime, if we please.

Take your time coming to terms with this. You can't rush these things.
Personally, I wish you wouldn't feel guilty [but I'm not about to expect or ask you not to] because now, feeling guilty doesn't help anything, as harsh as that may seem. Feeling guilty negatively effects your mood and your relationships with people who are still here and your mental health and doesn't bring him back or fix anything about what happened, and I hope I'm not out of line in saying so. But missing him -- that's fine. Wishing you spent more time with him -- that's fine. Getting angry that you didn't -- meh. You can't fix that. You're human. Spare yourself the mindfuck, love