(no subject)
I guess it's time for an update.
So, the census is extremely low at the children's hospital (108 beds, about 55 full) - which is great for the children of greater Tulsa; not so great for people who were promised hours to work. So my unit (neuro/overflow) closed down. It's been closed for about three weeks now. All of us who work there have had to pull to different units, and we show up every night not knowing where we're going. It's a little annoying and disorganized, not to mention that it's exactly what the float nurses do - only we're not getting the extra $4 an hour they get. Anyway, on Monday we had a meeting about the situation with the director of the hospital. She and our manager decided that all of us could choose which unit we want to work on until Level B opens back up. I'd been told that EOPC (Eastern Oklahoma Perinatal Center...does that say "neonatal intensive care unit" to you? It doesn't to me...but that's what it is) was fun and easy because we would be guaranteed the feeder-growers and it basically involved holding/feeding babies all night. So I picked EOPC.
What I WASN'T told is that all of the charting is done on paper (everywhere else in the hospital does all computer charting, which is way faster) and that I would hardly be able to sit down. My legs are killing me after three nights there. Also, the nurses there are hypocrites and I feel like I'm always in trouble. Small, silly example: on Wednesday night the nurse I've been working with got a cup of coffee from the break room and brought it to our row of patients, setting it on top of the shelf between the monitors so it would be out of the way. When I showed up for work yesterday, I was exhausted and needed caffeine so I started pouring myself a cup of coffee. The nurse watched me the entire time and only when I had it all fixed up and was getting ready to go get our assignments did she say, "We're not supposed to bring drinks in there. You'll have to dump that out."
Baffled, I mumbled some kind of trying-to-sound-mature "but you did it too" statement and she said "Well, you can try to hide it, but if they find it you'll get in trouble." I don't know if any of you know this, but I've always had a HUGE issue with wasting food (and hello? I loves me my java) so I decided to take the risk. (Multiple people saw the coffee and no one cared.) Anyway, there have been other examples that actually involved patient care/other more serious things, and it gets on my nerves. If you're going to teach me "bad" behavior by example, even inadvertently, at least admit that you shouldn't have done it instead of telling me I've done something wrong.
It's also kind of discouraging to be back in the "I know nothing; I have to learn everything and look stupid a lot before I can even begin to look like I know what I'm doing" mode. I've just recently started feeling confident and more competent, and now I feel like all of that is out the window. It's tiring to be fresh from school, go through months of orientation, feel like an idiot who should never be trusted with children's lives, and then finally start to feel like I can do this...then go through the same thing less than a year later.
I was thinking about going to my manager and asking to be put somewhere back in the children's hospital, and then last night the nurse who is orienting me said, "Next week we'll go to breakfast together!" That made me feel bad, so I'll go through another week of blah because I don't want to hurt her feelings. That is just how nice (read: terrified of being on bad terms with anyone) I am.
I want my unit baaaaack! (No, I don't want any epidemics or disasters. It's complicated. I just miss my job.)
Okay, it IS time to finally get off the couch and re-pad the carpet/rearrange the furniture in the bedroom. I never will if I don't do it NOW!
So, the census is extremely low at the children's hospital (108 beds, about 55 full) - which is great for the children of greater Tulsa; not so great for people who were promised hours to work. So my unit (neuro/overflow) closed down. It's been closed for about three weeks now. All of us who work there have had to pull to different units, and we show up every night not knowing where we're going. It's a little annoying and disorganized, not to mention that it's exactly what the float nurses do - only we're not getting the extra $4 an hour they get. Anyway, on Monday we had a meeting about the situation with the director of the hospital. She and our manager decided that all of us could choose which unit we want to work on until Level B opens back up. I'd been told that EOPC (Eastern Oklahoma Perinatal Center...does that say "neonatal intensive care unit" to you? It doesn't to me...but that's what it is) was fun and easy because we would be guaranteed the feeder-growers and it basically involved holding/feeding babies all night. So I picked EOPC.
What I WASN'T told is that all of the charting is done on paper (everywhere else in the hospital does all computer charting, which is way faster) and that I would hardly be able to sit down. My legs are killing me after three nights there. Also, the nurses there are hypocrites and I feel like I'm always in trouble. Small, silly example: on Wednesday night the nurse I've been working with got a cup of coffee from the break room and brought it to our row of patients, setting it on top of the shelf between the monitors so it would be out of the way. When I showed up for work yesterday, I was exhausted and needed caffeine so I started pouring myself a cup of coffee. The nurse watched me the entire time and only when I had it all fixed up and was getting ready to go get our assignments did she say, "We're not supposed to bring drinks in there. You'll have to dump that out."
Baffled, I mumbled some kind of trying-to-sound-mature "but you did it too" statement and she said "Well, you can try to hide it, but if they find it you'll get in trouble." I don't know if any of you know this, but I've always had a HUGE issue with wasting food (and hello? I loves me my java) so I decided to take the risk. (Multiple people saw the coffee and no one cared.) Anyway, there have been other examples that actually involved patient care/other more serious things, and it gets on my nerves. If you're going to teach me "bad" behavior by example, even inadvertently, at least admit that you shouldn't have done it instead of telling me I've done something wrong.
It's also kind of discouraging to be back in the "I know nothing; I have to learn everything and look stupid a lot before I can even begin to look like I know what I'm doing" mode. I've just recently started feeling confident and more competent, and now I feel like all of that is out the window. It's tiring to be fresh from school, go through months of orientation, feel like an idiot who should never be trusted with children's lives, and then finally start to feel like I can do this...then go through the same thing less than a year later.
I was thinking about going to my manager and asking to be put somewhere back in the children's hospital, and then last night the nurse who is orienting me said, "Next week we'll go to breakfast together!" That made me feel bad, so I'll go through another week of blah because I don't want to hurt her feelings. That is just how nice (read: terrified of being on bad terms with anyone) I am.
I want my unit baaaaack! (No, I don't want any epidemics or disasters. It's complicated. I just miss my job.)
Okay, it IS time to finally get off the couch and re-pad the carpet/rearrange the furniture in the bedroom. I never will if I don't do it NOW!