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How to Smoke a Coconut
What's the matter, Bunky? You broke your bong at some wild party? You can't find your favorite pipe? Not to worry! Simply grab a coconut and fire that sucker up!
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Here's How:
Make friends with someone from a tropical island.
Have them send you a real coconut. They can just address it, slap a stamp on it, and drop it in the nearest mail box. The Postal Service just loves that.
When the coconut arrives, clean off the green outer husk to reveal the brown inner husk.
Shake the nut to ensure it has lots of coconut milk inside. If it doesn't, mail it back to your friend and have him send you another one.
If the coconut contains sufficient milk, pop it in the fridge for at least 4 hours.
While the nut is chilling, head out to the local drive-thru restaurant and order a soft drink. Ask for extra straws.
As you consume your drink, inspect the straws carefully. They must be made of sturdy plastic and of a large to moderate diameter. They must not have any bends or breaks.
Go home. Remove the coconut from the fridge.
Assemble the following implements: a drill (preferably power), a pair of scissors, some cigarrette papers, the smoking material of your choice, and a hammer (optional).
Roll a tight cigarette about the same diameter as your straws.
Find the 3 'eyes' on the coconut. (Hint: They look like bowling ball holes.) Carefully drill a hole in 2 of the eyes. Have a friend help you hold the nut still.
Take the scissors and cut one of the straws in half. Insert the cigarette into the half straw. Insert the half straw into one of the pre-drilled coconut eyes. Important: the end of the straw MUST be IN the chilled coconut milk.
Insert a whole straw into the other pre-drilled coconut eye. Equally important: The end of this straw MUST be ABOVE the milk.
Using both hands, and being careful not to spill, hold the coconut directly in front of you and admire your handiwork.
While holding the coconut in your left hand, light a match with your right hand. Have a friend help you if it gets too complicated.
Tips:
Have a bowl handy to sit the coconut in.
When you are through smoking, use the hammer to crack open the nut and consume the coconut. Beware, it's potent.
When you are finished, you must throw the nut away. They don't 'store' well.
What's the matter, Bunky? You broke your bong at some wild party? You can't find your favorite pipe? Not to worry! Simply grab a coconut and fire that sucker up!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Here's How:
Make friends with someone from a tropical island.
Have them send you a real coconut. They can just address it, slap a stamp on it, and drop it in the nearest mail box. The Postal Service just loves that.
When the coconut arrives, clean off the green outer husk to reveal the brown inner husk.
Shake the nut to ensure it has lots of coconut milk inside. If it doesn't, mail it back to your friend and have him send you another one.
If the coconut contains sufficient milk, pop it in the fridge for at least 4 hours.
While the nut is chilling, head out to the local drive-thru restaurant and order a soft drink. Ask for extra straws.
As you consume your drink, inspect the straws carefully. They must be made of sturdy plastic and of a large to moderate diameter. They must not have any bends or breaks.
Go home. Remove the coconut from the fridge.
Assemble the following implements: a drill (preferably power), a pair of scissors, some cigarrette papers, the smoking material of your choice, and a hammer (optional).
Roll a tight cigarette about the same diameter as your straws.
Find the 3 'eyes' on the coconut. (Hint: They look like bowling ball holes.) Carefully drill a hole in 2 of the eyes. Have a friend help you hold the nut still.
Take the scissors and cut one of the straws in half. Insert the cigarette into the half straw. Insert the half straw into one of the pre-drilled coconut eyes. Important: the end of the straw MUST be IN the chilled coconut milk.
Insert a whole straw into the other pre-drilled coconut eye. Equally important: The end of this straw MUST be ABOVE the milk.
Using both hands, and being careful not to spill, hold the coconut directly in front of you and admire your handiwork.
While holding the coconut in your left hand, light a match with your right hand. Have a friend help you if it gets too complicated.
Tips:
Have a bowl handy to sit the coconut in.
When you are through smoking, use the hammer to crack open the nut and consume the coconut. Beware, it's potent.
When you are finished, you must throw the nut away. They don't 'store' well.