The end
My world crashed down on me yesterday.
I'm sorry but I have to talk about this, so here it goes...
Well, u all know the story about my mom's work (see last entry) and me getting a job right? Okay well yesterday i found out that because my mom will have to work full time every week she most likely won't be able to go up north. I'd miss my mom up north but i still want to go with the rest of my family and my mom wants us to go. well... my dad says we're not going if my mom doesn't go. The one thing that i can't live without and the one place i can be happy is being torn away from me. now sarah says just to think happy thoughts because we still might go. and thats good advice excpet for the fact that if i get my hopes up and we don't go it will be even harder on me. I don't know if anyone else has a place that if they didn't go they would feel empty but i would feel more then empty i would be completly lost. Now, like i said before i would miss my mom so much while we were up there and it would seem like something is missing but i need to be up there and so does the rest of my family. we have all had such a terrible year... my uncle dying, my grandpa almost dying, four or more times that we had to go to the hospital for both my grandma and grandpa, and we have been totally busy with everything else. my parents are hardly ever home and when they are we are all really tired and we just go do our own things, i have to drive my sisters to practice and make dinner most nights. i don't know this year has been completly diffrent then any i've had before.
Now i think im going crazy because today i woke up and smelt like a bondfire that had burnt out in the night and it smelt like a lake and nature and i thought for a breif moment that i was up north and i go so excited. then i took another breath and i chocked on the dirty air around here. i don't know its just so hard and all i want to do is cry and i can't. because then it will make it hard on everyone here.
i'm sry ill stop i just had to get this off my chest.
I'm sorry but I have to talk about this, so here it goes...
Well, u all know the story about my mom's work (see last entry) and me getting a job right? Okay well yesterday i found out that because my mom will have to work full time every week she most likely won't be able to go up north. I'd miss my mom up north but i still want to go with the rest of my family and my mom wants us to go. well... my dad says we're not going if my mom doesn't go. The one thing that i can't live without and the one place i can be happy is being torn away from me. now sarah says just to think happy thoughts because we still might go. and thats good advice excpet for the fact that if i get my hopes up and we don't go it will be even harder on me. I don't know if anyone else has a place that if they didn't go they would feel empty but i would feel more then empty i would be completly lost. Now, like i said before i would miss my mom so much while we were up there and it would seem like something is missing but i need to be up there and so does the rest of my family. we have all had such a terrible year... my uncle dying, my grandpa almost dying, four or more times that we had to go to the hospital for both my grandma and grandpa, and we have been totally busy with everything else. my parents are hardly ever home and when they are we are all really tired and we just go do our own things, i have to drive my sisters to practice and make dinner most nights. i don't know this year has been completly diffrent then any i've had before.
Now i think im going crazy because today i woke up and smelt like a bondfire that had burnt out in the night and it smelt like a lake and nature and i thought for a breif moment that i was up north and i go so excited. then i took another breath and i chocked on the dirty air around here. i don't know its just so hard and all i want to do is cry and i can't. because then it will make it hard on everyone here.
i'm sry ill stop i just had to get this off my chest.