(no subject)
Sup.
All of the time and effort I've put in, focusing on this one thing, this one goal, I believe has been wasted. It's too late now. We are not meant. For christ's sake, why can't I get the FUCK over this? It's not like any of this happens anymore. I just feel it. Your emotions are much stronger than physical feeling. They can almost blind your nerves into thinking something to be true that never even happened. I just intently wish that things happened the way I planned, and after all the drugs are used, everything just meshes together, blurring the reality of it all. Had I really felt these emotions when I did? Or were they different instances with different people? Why can't I just pick up a phone and make a fucking call? I'm weak and unmotivated. I have no confidence in myself with little reason to feel thus. I know I had my chances. I know that what I did was stupid and immature. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the hurt, for me and you. I'm sorry for ever getting in the way and causing such emotional flares. And fuck you. I hope you feel the same as me. If not, you truly have no heart. It was never meant and I can understand that. But you can move on. I can't. I have no other options. I only have one soulmate and you're gone. If nothing more, I must be able to attain happiness through means of personal well-being. I will never see the day that I can sleep beside her. I will never see the day that I can kiss her face. It seems too much to bare and I'm through with love. You can play that game.
I really have nothing else to say tonight. That's all that's on my mind.
All of the time and effort I've put in, focusing on this one thing, this one goal, I believe has been wasted. It's too late now. We are not meant. For christ's sake, why can't I get the FUCK over this? It's not like any of this happens anymore. I just feel it. Your emotions are much stronger than physical feeling. They can almost blind your nerves into thinking something to be true that never even happened. I just intently wish that things happened the way I planned, and after all the drugs are used, everything just meshes together, blurring the reality of it all. Had I really felt these emotions when I did? Or were they different instances with different people? Why can't I just pick up a phone and make a fucking call? I'm weak and unmotivated. I have no confidence in myself with little reason to feel thus. I know I had my chances. I know that what I did was stupid and immature. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry for the hurt, for me and you. I'm sorry for ever getting in the way and causing such emotional flares. And fuck you. I hope you feel the same as me. If not, you truly have no heart. It was never meant and I can understand that. But you can move on. I can't. I have no other options. I only have one soulmate and you're gone. If nothing more, I must be able to attain happiness through means of personal well-being. I will never see the day that I can sleep beside her. I will never see the day that I can kiss her face. It seems too much to bare and I'm through with love. You can play that game.
I really have nothing else to say tonight. That's all that's on my mind.