A Bad Day.
So I found out late last night that Mike Lopez died on prom night. WTF? And nobody would tell me who the other guy was bc nobody really knew. But then I found out it was Bobby. Dammit. I knew both of them. I remember Mike and Kyle Ward came over to my house bc I had the biggest crush on Kyle ... and they came over and they were both just making fun of me the whole time ... but not mean making fun of just y'kno laughing and having a good time. Mike and I rode the same bus. And Bobby was in my theater class ... he would always do projects with Cade and Moses and sometimes Jason. They were so freakin funny. He played my boyfriend in that one act ... Baby ... haha. We would always sneak off into the bedroom. AAAHAHAHA. Good times. I always laughed when he was around. It just really pisses me off that people still don't fucking learn ... after everything that has happened they still don't learn. Dallas, Madrid, and now them. All from basically the same thing. Drugs are bad, bitches. Drugs kill, bitches. And alcohol, too.
Fucking Ryan ... I'm changing everytime I say "my date" in the one below this and changing it to Ryan just bc he asked me to take it off ... no not asked ... "demanded." Fuck you. I hate Rachel. I don't care if she reads this shit. You and her are supposedly over. After everything she has put you through I have been there for you. I have been the one you run to ... and you DO NOT do the same for me. WTF is that?! Friendship is a two way fucking street ... I'm not going to do everything for you only to be left with nothing. All I did was call to talk to you bc that was what I needed ... someone to talk to ... and you couldn't even do that, could you? You always profess that I'm your best friend ... or your best girl friend or whatever. What the fuck ever. You can't even stand up to that psycho bitch and tell her that. You let her say all this shit to me and about me to people I don't even know and when I finally stand up for myself, you get pissed off at me. Well fuck that. I'm so done with that. If I wanna write about my own fucking prom, I'm gunna write about my own fucking prom and there is nothing you can do to stop that. And about the picture ... I'm sry that the only picture that you can see my whole dress in is that one. Plus I look cute in that one so oh well. And I don't understand what the big deal about prom is anyway ... you wanted me to go to your prom with you and Rachel would've been in the same damn group. How is that any different?! If anything this way is better. That way she doesn't have to see it. She doesn't have to come on here and read my myspace and look at my pictures ... that's her choice ... and of course that would be her choice bc she's psycho!!!!
And fucking Brian. I don't even know what's going on with him. I'm getting mixed signals and it's really starting to get to me. Everything was fine and I thought we were gunna get back together and now I don't know. He stopped saying I love you this morning. Right after he finds out about a death he stops saying I love you ... I don't know about anybody else but after I heard I wanted to bring everybody closer to me. I think that's a normal reaction ... I wanted to tell everyone I love how much I love them ... and I dunno. We went bowling ... Brian, Brian, Tyler, Jade and I all went to the suncoast and went bowling ... it was fun. But it was so weird bc I can't tell if he wants to be with me or not. So I called him tonight to see if he has any time tomorrow ... and he was pretty shady about it ... he didn't know or whatever. I just wanna talk to him about what's going on and what we're doing. I know what I wanna do. I wanna be with him. I can make time for him. At this point I would drop everything just to have him back. I wouldn't be so selfish and stupid and I would make time and I would show him I care and I wouldn't fuck up again. I thought about that today ... and that's all I kept telling Jade ... was that I was so stupid and that I never should've done that. That's one of the worst decisions I've ever made ... Corey was the worst. But let's not get into that. Anyway ... I'm an idiot ... but I'm an idiot in love.
Bad day.
Fucking Ryan ... I'm changing everytime I say "my date" in the one below this and changing it to Ryan just bc he asked me to take it off ... no not asked ... "demanded." Fuck you. I hate Rachel. I don't care if she reads this shit. You and her are supposedly over. After everything she has put you through I have been there for you. I have been the one you run to ... and you DO NOT do the same for me. WTF is that?! Friendship is a two way fucking street ... I'm not going to do everything for you only to be left with nothing. All I did was call to talk to you bc that was what I needed ... someone to talk to ... and you couldn't even do that, could you? You always profess that I'm your best friend ... or your best girl friend or whatever. What the fuck ever. You can't even stand up to that psycho bitch and tell her that. You let her say all this shit to me and about me to people I don't even know and when I finally stand up for myself, you get pissed off at me. Well fuck that. I'm so done with that. If I wanna write about my own fucking prom, I'm gunna write about my own fucking prom and there is nothing you can do to stop that. And about the picture ... I'm sry that the only picture that you can see my whole dress in is that one. Plus I look cute in that one so oh well. And I don't understand what the big deal about prom is anyway ... you wanted me to go to your prom with you and Rachel would've been in the same damn group. How is that any different?! If anything this way is better. That way she doesn't have to see it. She doesn't have to come on here and read my myspace and look at my pictures ... that's her choice ... and of course that would be her choice bc she's psycho!!!!
And fucking Brian. I don't even know what's going on with him. I'm getting mixed signals and it's really starting to get to me. Everything was fine and I thought we were gunna get back together and now I don't know. He stopped saying I love you this morning. Right after he finds out about a death he stops saying I love you ... I don't know about anybody else but after I heard I wanted to bring everybody closer to me. I think that's a normal reaction ... I wanted to tell everyone I love how much I love them ... and I dunno. We went bowling ... Brian, Brian, Tyler, Jade and I all went to the suncoast and went bowling ... it was fun. But it was so weird bc I can't tell if he wants to be with me or not. So I called him tonight to see if he has any time tomorrow ... and he was pretty shady about it ... he didn't know or whatever. I just wanna talk to him about what's going on and what we're doing. I know what I wanna do. I wanna be with him. I can make time for him. At this point I would drop everything just to have him back. I wouldn't be so selfish and stupid and I would make time and I would show him I care and I wouldn't fuck up again. I thought about that today ... and that's all I kept telling Jade ... was that I was so stupid and that I never should've done that. That's one of the worst decisions I've ever made ... Corey was the worst. But let's not get into that. Anyway ... I'm an idiot ... but I'm an idiot in love.
Bad day.