Who needs real friends/co-conspirators?
I bought a Micropet. It’s a little, angry-looking, purple monster, called Gak, about an inch and a half high, that responds to voice commands by rolling around on its rollers (and wiggling its false legs), flashing its green LED eyes and red LED tongue, flapping its little purple ears and squealing in an ungodly, electronic fashion.
The voice commands, unfortunately, are not programmable, because I had been hoping to teach it to respond to things like, “Write my thesis!” and, “End world hunger!”
It’s really a lot like a younger sibling.* It squeals and kicks its legs if you pick it up. You have to stop it falling off things or head-butting hot coffee. Attention is attention: its grasp of the difference between affection and abuse is at best nominal. In response to both, “Iiii-eee-iii, will always love yoo-oo...” and, “Eat it, bitch!” it justs runs around flapping and shrieking like an urchin caught in a fire in precisely the same way. In fact, this behaviour is not unlike its response to the official commands to run, walk and talk, which are themselves not unlike the temper tantrum response when you just ignore it. The cynical among us may detect a pattern here. But I digress.
On the thesis front, I am considering a paper ouija board and inking its little feet. “Gak! Calvin on images!”
*Admittedly, none of my younger siblings has yet installed a red LED in their tongues.
The voice commands, unfortunately, are not programmable, because I had been hoping to teach it to respond to things like, “Write my thesis!” and, “End world hunger!”
It’s really a lot like a younger sibling.* It squeals and kicks its legs if you pick it up. You have to stop it falling off things or head-butting hot coffee. Attention is attention: its grasp of the difference between affection and abuse is at best nominal. In response to both, “Iiii-eee-iii, will always love yoo-oo...” and, “Eat it, bitch!” it justs runs around flapping and shrieking like an urchin caught in a fire in precisely the same way. In fact, this behaviour is not unlike its response to the official commands to run, walk and talk, which are themselves not unlike the temper tantrum response when you just ignore it. The cynical among us may detect a pattern here. But I digress.
On the thesis front, I am considering a paper ouija board and inking its little feet. “Gak! Calvin on images!”
*Admittedly, none of my younger siblings has yet installed a red LED in their tongues.