Kill me burn me down I swear I won't forget...
I haven't updated my journal in a long time.
Mostly because no one reads it.
Tonight for some reason I just had one of those "I feel alone"/"My heart is broke" kinda moods...I saw that girl tonight. yeah that one that's kinda been like I like you then I don't like you sorta thing. That was hard...to say hi...to talk to her...to just be me around her.
There's a part of me that really misses her, and then there's a part that doesn't.
On top of that someone who I really cared about awhile ago is still not doing so good...and I don't know what to tell them. they ask me "how do I fix this" ...but I tried to tell them that before the worst of things happened.
I'm pretty much just spent...completely heart broken. what else is knew right? I've lived like this all my life...People seem to just let me down. I've never ever had someone who really cared. Everyone who said they ever did basically made it feel like i've been lied to about it. maybe they did lie or maybe they actually meant it.
Actions speak louder than words that mean nothing.
In terms of Christ, I feel I am no where near where I should be. "Imitate me as I imitate christ" ...I've never ever met a christian who was anything like Paul. That just breaks my heart even more.
I'm so confused...I don't know who/what to believe anymore.
Mostly because no one reads it.
Tonight for some reason I just had one of those "I feel alone"/"My heart is broke" kinda moods...I saw that girl tonight. yeah that one that's kinda been like I like you then I don't like you sorta thing. That was hard...to say hi...to talk to her...to just be me around her.
There's a part of me that really misses her, and then there's a part that doesn't.
On top of that someone who I really cared about awhile ago is still not doing so good...and I don't know what to tell them. they ask me "how do I fix this" ...but I tried to tell them that before the worst of things happened.
I'm pretty much just spent...completely heart broken. what else is knew right? I've lived like this all my life...People seem to just let me down. I've never ever had someone who really cared. Everyone who said they ever did basically made it feel like i've been lied to about it. maybe they did lie or maybe they actually meant it.
Actions speak louder than words that mean nothing.
In terms of Christ, I feel I am no where near where I should be. "Imitate me as I imitate christ" ...I've never ever met a christian who was anything like Paul. That just breaks my heart even more.
I'm so confused...I don't know who/what to believe anymore.