end of the semester and i'm getting anxious.
I ask myself, though, how could I possibly get more anxious than the level of anxiety I've been maintaining all semester? Human-kind has a special knack at adapting--then moving on to bigger and better things levels of dread....
So Dad's company is having a hard time finding work again. This has been a periodic thing I've remembered since childhood. It's getting a little old; the fear and panic that Dad won't have a job, we won't have health insurance, won't be able to finish college or pay back my student loans, or the family may have to move... Goodness. I have enough stress with worrying about passing this required class for my major, the fear that it's just foundational for every other class I'll have to take (and therefore suck at), will I be able to find a job after graduation? $8.5K in student loans breathing down my neck. A graduation date that keeps getting pushed back--now 1 1/2 years (at least) past when I originally hoped for. How are we going to pay for those extra 1 1/2 years of tuition?! I won't have health insurance, whether or not my dad loses his union status, if I don't maintain a full load, but when I only have a certain amount of classes left, and they only offer them in a certain order.... I'm not going to take thousands of dollars worth of extra classes for health insurance I may or may not need. Seriously. And I may be suffering from a little bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder.... I really need some sunlight. Maybe I can trick myself with tanning. lol
*sigh* SO. If Dad's losing his job b/c all of his company's union jobs are in Florida, then maybe I can't take a cruise this summer. (Wild, uncontrolled sobbing.)
I'll feel bad saving up just for that, then afterwards, not having that much of a savings during a time when the rest of my family is a little financially unstable. *&^%$#@! I really, really, REALLY want to take a cruise. If I don't get to, I at least want to go down to Florida and stay for a week. At the very, very least. Or go see Jeff in California. But really--that can't beat Haiti, Jamaica, the Bahamas, and Mexico.... *le sigh*
Yes, I could cry.
Oh, and it's been snowing outside today.
The world really knows how to backhand a girl and kick her when she's down
...kan
So Dad's company is having a hard time finding work again. This has been a periodic thing I've remembered since childhood. It's getting a little old; the fear and panic that Dad won't have a job, we won't have health insurance, won't be able to finish college or pay back my student loans, or the family may have to move... Goodness. I have enough stress with worrying about passing this required class for my major, the fear that it's just foundational for every other class I'll have to take (and therefore suck at), will I be able to find a job after graduation? $8.5K in student loans breathing down my neck. A graduation date that keeps getting pushed back--now 1 1/2 years (at least) past when I originally hoped for. How are we going to pay for those extra 1 1/2 years of tuition?! I won't have health insurance, whether or not my dad loses his union status, if I don't maintain a full load, but when I only have a certain amount of classes left, and they only offer them in a certain order.... I'm not going to take thousands of dollars worth of extra classes for health insurance I may or may not need. Seriously. And I may be suffering from a little bit of Seasonal Affective Disorder.... I really need some sunlight. Maybe I can trick myself with tanning. lol
*sigh* SO. If Dad's losing his job b/c all of his company's union jobs are in Florida, then maybe I can't take a cruise this summer. (Wild, uncontrolled sobbing.)
I'll feel bad saving up just for that, then afterwards, not having that much of a savings during a time when the rest of my family is a little financially unstable. *&^%$#@! I really, really, REALLY want to take a cruise. If I don't get to, I at least want to go down to Florida and stay for a week. At the very, very least. Or go see Jeff in California. But really--that can't beat Haiti, Jamaica, the Bahamas, and Mexico.... *le sigh*
Yes, I could cry.
Oh, and it's been snowing outside today.
The world really knows how to backhand a girl and kick her when she's down
...kan