until the balance

[eyealtering]

allow me to restore softness to my
throat and airways,
to the tiny raw places that
grew sandcastles taller than
my courage

i want to move like
graceful silk fan,
soundless fragility
mingled with harmonious pride,
somewhere met in the middle

allow me to overcome the
pockets of ancient air
cataloging downfalls since
i learned how to walk

these torrential tears need to grow
into meaningful wings
fanning respite to an ardent heart
whose beat can miss the mark

may the quiet be kind
and the waves that rise and
crash in my mind to roll
softly, softly behind
my eyes and not thunder
passed my lips

the heat and smoke which rise from
silent condemnation is
winning, this day, this day,
and i revolt against its
intrusion in this sacred place

i speak with an eagerness
of feeling and i squeeze my skin
until the pressure is cracking
open my chest
and i tumble down
searching for your eyes

i pretend hard shells
for i am softest where
the blood pulses life
(in)to my dreams and
i am forgotten in the stream

listen to the sound of
every letter, soft & loud,
and my story will unfold like
origami swan

only then will you pierce the
sanctuary of this habit of
beating wings until i die.