testing 1 2

[eye_spy_ava]

seattle is beautiful, i feel like i'm adapting. there are little differences, like the weather, and the highways, and the boys. they are very... lumberjack. this place seems designed to get lost in. there's so much to learn. i feel like... the reason i don't update this journal anymore is because i've just had my tiny laptop for a couple of years, and i get frustrated typing on the keyboard. it's so small. it's a bad excuse but whatev. everything has also been comparatively simple. after that first and last psychotic boyfriend and my unusual irresponsible behavior in that time of my life, well it all ended with a big finale that changed my perspective on things entirely. i went in circles for some time and i always thought i'd never follow the crowd but now in reality i know it's what i want to do, i know it's what i'll need to do, anyway. rushing into things wasn't a good idea, it never is with anything. i wasn't ready emotionally. i felt guilty of wasting so much time doing nothing, i thought i'd skip an important growing stage of life and be a big girl. what i'm trying to say is, i wasn't ready to join the working force. i did a lot of work to get where i was which was an accomplishment and which i should feel proud of. but honestly what i mean is, i'd rather fuck off a little longer, is what i'm trying to say. i started college late, but i knew i was ready for it, i knew it would be easier than the jobs i had, and i was right. i worked SO hard, i wore myself down, my work became my life. but in the end, it wasn't rewarding. i made lots of money, i was self sufficient, lived on my own in beautiful apartments in beautiful neighborhoods, but i had no time to appreciate any of it. i make all A's now and i feel like i do NOTHING. i make half the money but at an amazing no-stress job at a radio station here in seattle. i live with my uncle on a houseboat on lake union in the middle of the city. we're basically in downtown, i can ride a bike anywhere or walk to restaurants and pubs on eastlake ave. i have few friends here but it's easy making them with my job and school starts soon. i go to lots of shows too since all the good ones come through here. highlights so far: i sang karaoke with phantom planet("we are the world" in unison), i put my bum on the swedish, and met daniel craig at urban outfitters. i've been here a month.
































i'm excited for next month, and the month after that, and every month that follows. and cheers cheers cheers to leaving it all behind.