blue jean, baby
oh boy, it has been a long time, and i am sitting at work and elton john is playing over the stereo
on my walk to work today i decided i want to be more human. and the subsequent thought was that i have not actually puked since i was 10. i puked on the toilet seat in the nurses office then went to my grandma and grandmas and puked again. and i remember taking swimmers ear medicine and eating white castles and puking from that too.
i guess i have had alot of puke-worthy moments since. ever since i saw my mom puke that one time i have been terrified.
but i decided that if i ever find something dead & bloody in my microwave (urban legends?), i should probably puke. but would i stifle my response or let it project & cover what it is that i am trying to avoid?
neither feels accurate.
anyways, somehow puking would make me more human because i would finally be accepting a part of myself that i consistently hide. i do not puke, will not puke because puking is something that i do not do.
but i guess i don't want to be this person anymore.
on my walk to work today i decided i want to be more human. and the subsequent thought was that i have not actually puked since i was 10. i puked on the toilet seat in the nurses office then went to my grandma and grandmas and puked again. and i remember taking swimmers ear medicine and eating white castles and puking from that too.
i guess i have had alot of puke-worthy moments since. ever since i saw my mom puke that one time i have been terrified.
but i decided that if i ever find something dead & bloody in my microwave (urban legends?), i should probably puke. but would i stifle my response or let it project & cover what it is that i am trying to avoid?
neither feels accurate.
anyways, somehow puking would make me more human because i would finally be accepting a part of myself that i consistently hide. i do not puke, will not puke because puking is something that i do not do.
but i guess i don't want to be this person anymore.