(no subject)
i'm worried i'll become everything i hate.
probably because i hate everything.
...i should work on that. i believe falling asleep to it's a wonderful life will pretty much be the perfect remedy.
i'm kind of feeling detached in a less than zero-esque way...only not so extreme. i don't know. i think all the college freshman are kind of going through it...drifting between homes or whatever. i'm starting to associate that idea less with places and more with faces, if you know what i mean. ...that last sentence was gay; i'm sorry you had to witness that.
anyway. i've finally hit that point where i'm ready for life to start...and i mean...college is awesome...but i want to be in my Real Life. and skip over the getting-there part. i'm just impatient, i guess. and i'm pretty sure i'll be 20 in like...a year. it's weird. 20 used to seem old to me.
i feel...like i'm in limbo, i think. i'm so anxious to get out of it, and find my place in the world. i think this is one of those "you think you know everything there is to know" stages, like when you're 12 years old and no one can tell you you're wrong. ...except i'm obviously not 12. but i still don't like hearing that i'm wrong. which often translates to condescendence...but i really just want everyone to grow up. me included.
...i don't know how much sense this makes.
annnnd christmas magic via jimmy stewart andhearts-semicolon.
probably because i hate everything.
...i should work on that. i believe falling asleep to it's a wonderful life will pretty much be the perfect remedy.
i'm kind of feeling detached in a less than zero-esque way...only not so extreme. i don't know. i think all the college freshman are kind of going through it...drifting between homes or whatever. i'm starting to associate that idea less with places and more with faces, if you know what i mean. ...that last sentence was gay; i'm sorry you had to witness that.
anyway. i've finally hit that point where i'm ready for life to start...and i mean...college is awesome...but i want to be in my Real Life. and skip over the getting-there part. i'm just impatient, i guess. and i'm pretty sure i'll be 20 in like...a year. it's weird. 20 used to seem old to me.
i feel...like i'm in limbo, i think. i'm so anxious to get out of it, and find my place in the world. i think this is one of those "you think you know everything there is to know" stages, like when you're 12 years old and no one can tell you you're wrong. ...except i'm obviously not 12. but i still don't like hearing that i'm wrong. which often translates to condescendence...but i really just want everyone to grow up. me included.
...i don't know how much sense this makes.
annnnd christmas magic via jimmy stewart andhearts-semicolon.