(no subject)
I haven't had a real update in a long time. Mainly because my life is rather boring, and typing in this little white box is just sort of a reminder of how boring it is.
The last few months have been filled with many ups and downs and not a lot of inbetweens. One day I will be feel like I have everything in controll and the next day I will burst into tears 15 throughout the day. I've been dealing with the things that bother me by myself and not really talking to people about these things, which has been really therapeutic for me. I dont feel dependent on anyone, and thats an accomplishment for me. For so long I was so dependent on Nick, and after lots of really terrible night and lots of prayer, I finally feel free from that. However, I did cry to him a few nights ago. He called and we were talking like usual, untill I casually mentioned somthing that caused me to burst into tears. I couldn't controll it. But he encouraged me to cry and get it all out. I've been so focused on being strong and not letting my weakness show(esp. to him)that it felt so good to have him actually encourage me to cry. It reminded me that he is still a soft place for me to fall, even when I dont want to make myself that vulnerable.
Speaking of Nick, he came up to Georgia for a visit a few weeks ago. Caught a greyhound bus up here. I had been kind of nervous for him to come because I was scared it would be to hard for me to be around him and just be his friend, but the weekend was really really. It was nice for me to know that we share a connection that with stand the crumbling for our romantic relationship. On the last day he apologized for the way some things happened, and let me know how much me cared for me. It was a big deal for me because I knew he truly meant the things he was saying to me. Our friendship has been better ever since then.
I do miss him though. I miss being around someone that I'm so at home with. I dont have that in my life right now. I mean, I have Nick, but he lives a state away. And to be honest, I dont really have a friend in Sandersville. I spend every weekend alone, and that does get sort of hard. But im trying to make the best of it, and I try to take advantage of all that alone time and spend in with God. In January I will be moving and starting a new(and better) part of my life.
I was voted 'most likely to be famous' in highschool. I know everyone expected me leave town and never come back, becuase thats what I had been talking about doing my entire life. God just kind of knocked me own my face and taught me that that life is never gonna end up like you expect it to. Im sure this lesson will come in handy sometime.
I understand that God brought me to this place that I am at so that he can refine me. It sucks right now, but I know its a blessing.
The last few months have been filled with many ups and downs and not a lot of inbetweens. One day I will be feel like I have everything in controll and the next day I will burst into tears 15 throughout the day. I've been dealing with the things that bother me by myself and not really talking to people about these things, which has been really therapeutic for me. I dont feel dependent on anyone, and thats an accomplishment for me. For so long I was so dependent on Nick, and after lots of really terrible night and lots of prayer, I finally feel free from that. However, I did cry to him a few nights ago. He called and we were talking like usual, untill I casually mentioned somthing that caused me to burst into tears. I couldn't controll it. But he encouraged me to cry and get it all out. I've been so focused on being strong and not letting my weakness show(esp. to him)that it felt so good to have him actually encourage me to cry. It reminded me that he is still a soft place for me to fall, even when I dont want to make myself that vulnerable.
Speaking of Nick, he came up to Georgia for a visit a few weeks ago. Caught a greyhound bus up here. I had been kind of nervous for him to come because I was scared it would be to hard for me to be around him and just be his friend, but the weekend was really really. It was nice for me to know that we share a connection that with stand the crumbling for our romantic relationship. On the last day he apologized for the way some things happened, and let me know how much me cared for me. It was a big deal for me because I knew he truly meant the things he was saying to me. Our friendship has been better ever since then.
I do miss him though. I miss being around someone that I'm so at home with. I dont have that in my life right now. I mean, I have Nick, but he lives a state away. And to be honest, I dont really have a friend in Sandersville. I spend every weekend alone, and that does get sort of hard. But im trying to make the best of it, and I try to take advantage of all that alone time and spend in with God. In January I will be moving and starting a new(and better) part of my life.
I was voted 'most likely to be famous' in highschool. I know everyone expected me leave town and never come back, becuase thats what I had been talking about doing my entire life. God just kind of knocked me own my face and taught me that that life is never gonna end up like you expect it to. Im sure this lesson will come in handy sometime.
I understand that God brought me to this place that I am at so that he can refine me. It sucks right now, but I know its a blessing.