Books I have been reading - part I?
So, there have been a few books I have alternately reading over the past few months, plus what I read on vacation:
Okay, so let me expound a bit.
I. First, there is The Crossing. I have read about 1/3 of it. This is my second attempt at this book.
Last year, after I finished All The Pretty Horses, which is the first book in the Border Trilogy of McCarthy's, I read almost half of this book, but, I had to return it to our wonderful library. So, this year, I bought it for myself, and now I am reading and savoring it again. As I have mentioned previously, it is a challenging read. You might infer that from the one quote I have mentioned in my LJ (repeated here in this Public posting):
The old man [returned] to his testament. To his pacing and his argufying. He'd become something like a barrister. he pored over the record not for the honor or the glory of his Maker but rather to find against Him. To seek out in nice subtleties some darker nature. False favors. Small deceptions. Promises forsaken or a hand too quickly raised. To make cause against Him, you see. He understood what the priest could not. That what we seek is the worthy adversary. For we strike out to fall flailing through demons of wire and crepe and we long for something of substance to oppose us. Otherwise there were no boundaries to our own being and we too must extend our claims until we lose all definition. Until we must be swallowed up at last by the very void to which we wished to stand opposed.
Oh, yes, there is a very dark vision of the Universe in this novel. Oh, yes, there is dark, heretical theology and philosophy in this book. Oh, yes, it is stark. And, I thank all that is Holy for works of fiction like this.
However, having said that, it is not a book I can read all the time. It is a difficult thing to relax with at the end of a workday. It is an intellectually and emotionally challenging read, like any great literary novel. And, it is not something to be taken lightly. It's stark, ultra-realism and bareness are just something I cannot take all the time. And, I need to be fairly well rested to really enjoy the book. If not, I can usually just get through a few pages at a time, digesting a bit as I go. It is just that dense with thought, inflection, depth, ideas and complex language. It is, so far, as the New York Times Book review put, a Masterwork.
So, to all on my F-list, or who even ever read my public posts, do not walk, but RUN to your local bookstore/book-selling-website or library to get this book.
Oh, and I can say nothing but absolutely fantastic, ravishing thing about All The Pretty Horses. That book has single-handedly reinvigorated my interest in American Literary fiction. It is that good!
II.Passionate Marriage (
) is a book on marriage and sexual relationships in long-term monogamous relationships.
I would be hesitant to call it a self-help book, although it is a Phsychology book written at the intelligent person who wants to improve her/his romantic life and relationship, by this Psychologist named David Schnarch. Please note that this book is aimed at Heterosexuals in Monogamous relationships or who have been in and would like to improve future monogamous relationships.
I have been reading this book on and off for the past year, plus. I recently picked it up again and read several more chapters. I am about 3/4 done with it.
I have found this book very, very insightful about my own personal behavior, fears, level (or lack of) maturity and areas where I need to grow. I have also found it very helpful to explain some of the dynamics that take place in the (sometimes stormy) relationship with my spouse of 3.5 years (and 8 years total together), as well as some of what is actually going on with her. I have been able to see when she is actually making strides in growing, herself, and pushing me to do the same, as well as areas in which it is difficult, if not impossible, for her to grow.
The important part of this book is that it is based on the modern research associated with the theory of Differentiation for explaining normal human behavior. A lot of this work build upon the research and work of Murray Bowen and Michael Kerr. Generally the book is more helpful and better aimed at older couples, who, apparently, are often the ones better able to handle and acquire the level of differentiation to be able to bring a much greater level of emotional intimacy into their sex lives.
But, I would submit, that if you can understand the theoretical part of this book, and start to put it into context, seeing where it may fit into your own current (and past) relationships, you may be able to apply it's lessons to your own life and start to understand what you may need to do yourself, and what your partner may have to do, in order to start to achieve the kind of intimacy in a monogamous relationship that is really satisfying. For me, I had to actually go as far as being completely willing to literally walk away from my marriage, before I really got my point across as to what was most important to me and what I needed from my spouse. What I did that, everything changed. This book explained to me exactly WHY that is, what that act of courage did for me and for us.
So, I actually really recommend this book to everyone on my F-List or, just anybody from the rest of the public reading this post. At the very least, if you pay close attention, and can really digest what Schnarch is talking about, it will help you understand a hell of a lot more about yourself and your close relationships with others: what the actual dynamics are.
III. Next, is Couples by Updike. Well I had to try it for myself because it looked interesting, but I have to agree with something that die7fox said about Updike: namely, he is revolting and sucks!!
Uye, I have read about 100 pages of this book in the past month, and it was so incredibly dry, boring and I had no affinity with any of the characters. I hate them all. Finally his style is, just terrible. I have no idea what he is actually trying to get at, but, I am 100% certain it does not ever matter, because he bored me so much, that I don't even care what the fuck he is trying to say.
This book is supposedly about marriage, intimacy (or lack thereof), adultery, adults acting poorly, and people being afraid of death. Perhaps it is. I never got that far. I could not stand his drivel. There was nothing noble or anything to care about in any of the characters. There was no real passion or love or color or joy or real kindness in any of them. Even their pain was trite, annoying and mainly self-inflicted. A bunch of fucking narcissistic children. Yeah, so what. I meet people like that constantly. I find them to be annoying like flies buzzing around my head. I usually try to keep my Narcissist-swatter near by, wherever I go. Why write about them for fuck's sake?
OK. I am done with that.
Basically, Updike is off the list. and don't go near Couples.
IV. Finally, there is Hitchhiker's. A very nice, very light, amusing, sardonic look at human life and culture. I like it very much. but I love satire, so this fits right in. Not much more to say. I chuckled and laughed a lot. I will probably get the rest in this series for some very light reading. Nothing terribly heavy or deep in these. No real heavy ideas, but a few interesting ones thrown in.
Also in the past year or so, I read Tom Robbins' Still Life With Woodpecker, which I loooooved.
Currently queued up (already in the "Aram library," waiting for me):
More books for the future to put on my list (recommendations from from kriserin)
Alright, I am really tired now. Off to bed with me.
- Cormac McCarthy The Crossing
- David Schnarch - Passionate Marriage
- John Updike - Couples
- On vacation I read The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy, by Adams (for the 1st time in my life, can you believe that shite? I mean, really, I am an effing SciFi, Computer Programming geek. So this is kind of crazy. I was reading Stranger in A Strange Land and Dune and the LOTR series at 15/16. But, only now have I read Hitchhiker's...craziness.)
Okay, so let me expound a bit.
I. First, there is The Crossing. I have read about 1/3 of it. This is my second attempt at this book.
Last year, after I finished All The Pretty Horses, which is the first book in the Border Trilogy of McCarthy's, I read almost half of this book, but, I had to return it to our wonderful library. So, this year, I bought it for myself, and now I am reading and savoring it again. As I have mentioned previously, it is a challenging read. You might infer that from the one quote I have mentioned in my LJ (repeated here in this Public posting):
The old man [returned] to his testament. To his pacing and his argufying. He'd become something like a barrister. he pored over the record not for the honor or the glory of his Maker but rather to find against Him. To seek out in nice subtleties some darker nature. False favors. Small deceptions. Promises forsaken or a hand too quickly raised. To make cause against Him, you see. He understood what the priest could not. That what we seek is the worthy adversary. For we strike out to fall flailing through demons of wire and crepe and we long for something of substance to oppose us. Otherwise there were no boundaries to our own being and we too must extend our claims until we lose all definition. Until we must be swallowed up at last by the very void to which we wished to stand opposed.
Oh, yes, there is a very dark vision of the Universe in this novel. Oh, yes, there is dark, heretical theology and philosophy in this book. Oh, yes, it is stark. And, I thank all that is Holy for works of fiction like this.
However, having said that, it is not a book I can read all the time. It is a difficult thing to relax with at the end of a workday. It is an intellectually and emotionally challenging read, like any great literary novel. And, it is not something to be taken lightly. It's stark, ultra-realism and bareness are just something I cannot take all the time. And, I need to be fairly well rested to really enjoy the book. If not, I can usually just get through a few pages at a time, digesting a bit as I go. It is just that dense with thought, inflection, depth, ideas and complex language. It is, so far, as the New York Times Book review put, a Masterwork.
So, to all on my F-list, or who even ever read my public posts, do not walk, but RUN to your local bookstore/book-selling-website or library to get this book.
Oh, and I can say nothing but absolutely fantastic, ravishing thing about All The Pretty Horses. That book has single-handedly reinvigorated my interest in American Literary fiction. It is that good!
II.Passionate Marriage (
) is a book on marriage and sexual relationships in long-term monogamous relationships.
I would be hesitant to call it a self-help book, although it is a Phsychology book written at the intelligent person who wants to improve her/his romantic life and relationship, by this Psychologist named David Schnarch. Please note that this book is aimed at Heterosexuals in Monogamous relationships or who have been in and would like to improve future monogamous relationships.
I have been reading this book on and off for the past year, plus. I recently picked it up again and read several more chapters. I am about 3/4 done with it.
I have found this book very, very insightful about my own personal behavior, fears, level (or lack of) maturity and areas where I need to grow. I have also found it very helpful to explain some of the dynamics that take place in the (sometimes stormy) relationship with my spouse of 3.5 years (and 8 years total together), as well as some of what is actually going on with her. I have been able to see when she is actually making strides in growing, herself, and pushing me to do the same, as well as areas in which it is difficult, if not impossible, for her to grow.
The important part of this book is that it is based on the modern research associated with the theory of Differentiation for explaining normal human behavior. A lot of this work build upon the research and work of Murray Bowen and Michael Kerr. Generally the book is more helpful and better aimed at older couples, who, apparently, are often the ones better able to handle and acquire the level of differentiation to be able to bring a much greater level of emotional intimacy into their sex lives.
But, I would submit, that if you can understand the theoretical part of this book, and start to put it into context, seeing where it may fit into your own current (and past) relationships, you may be able to apply it's lessons to your own life and start to understand what you may need to do yourself, and what your partner may have to do, in order to start to achieve the kind of intimacy in a monogamous relationship that is really satisfying. For me, I had to actually go as far as being completely willing to literally walk away from my marriage, before I really got my point across as to what was most important to me and what I needed from my spouse. What I did that, everything changed. This book explained to me exactly WHY that is, what that act of courage did for me and for us.
So, I actually really recommend this book to everyone on my F-List or, just anybody from the rest of the public reading this post. At the very least, if you pay close attention, and can really digest what Schnarch is talking about, it will help you understand a hell of a lot more about yourself and your close relationships with others: what the actual dynamics are.
III. Next, is Couples by Updike. Well I had to try it for myself because it looked interesting, but I have to agree with something that die7fox said about Updike: namely, he is revolting and sucks!!
Uye, I have read about 100 pages of this book in the past month, and it was so incredibly dry, boring and I had no affinity with any of the characters. I hate them all. Finally his style is, just terrible. I have no idea what he is actually trying to get at, but, I am 100% certain it does not ever matter, because he bored me so much, that I don't even care what the fuck he is trying to say.
This book is supposedly about marriage, intimacy (or lack thereof), adultery, adults acting poorly, and people being afraid of death. Perhaps it is. I never got that far. I could not stand his drivel. There was nothing noble or anything to care about in any of the characters. There was no real passion or love or color or joy or real kindness in any of them. Even their pain was trite, annoying and mainly self-inflicted. A bunch of fucking narcissistic children. Yeah, so what. I meet people like that constantly. I find them to be annoying like flies buzzing around my head. I usually try to keep my Narcissist-swatter near by, wherever I go. Why write about them for fuck's sake?
OK. I am done with that.
Basically, Updike is off the list. and don't go near Couples.
IV. Finally, there is Hitchhiker's. A very nice, very light, amusing, sardonic look at human life and culture. I like it very much. but I love satire, so this fits right in. Not much more to say. I chuckled and laughed a lot. I will probably get the rest in this series for some very light reading. Nothing terribly heavy or deep in these. No real heavy ideas, but a few interesting ones thrown in.
Also in the past year or so, I read Tom Robbins' Still Life With Woodpecker, which I loooooved.
Currently queued up (already in the "Aram library," waiting for me):
- American Pastoral by Philip Roth
- Even Cowgirls Get The Blues by Tom Robbins
More books for the future to put on my list (recommendations from from kriserin)
- The Mists Of Avalon - MARION ZIMMER BRADLEY. Get Mists Here
- The Sound And The Fury - William Faulkner Get The Sound And The Fury here. I actually really do have a thing for good southern American writers.
- Crime And Punishment - Dostoevsky Get the book here
Alright, I am really tired now. Off to bed with me.