learning gender

[exterra]

i forgot to write about an incident that happened last month, as i was walking to my gym (have i mentioned that i generally hate gyms and the idea of paying to exercise and the idea of exercising inside, but that given my various physical-conditions, i find myself in a place where i rely on them to get aerobic exercise that doesn't further injure

Comments

[exterra]

You know, many young children (toddler age) don't look particularly gendered to me. Were it not for the gender-signifiers parents tend to put on them to mark/indicate their gender (long vs. short hair, dress & "girly" shoes vs. pants & a shirt with a firetruck print, for example) I have a hard time guessing the gender of a lot of small children.

I had a similar incident as you describe happen more than once when I was a weekend nanny for a 3 year old boy with long, curly locks. We'd go out on a walk or to a grocery store and would get comments like, "what a beautiful little girl you are!" This little one, however, responded with less calmness and rather with angry indignation and had a tendency to shout, "I'm not a little girl, I'm a little boy!" with furrowed brows.

I imagine his indignation came, in part, from overhearing the heated arguments his mother & grandmother had about his hair -- the grandmother strongly disapproved of it and would make disparaging remarks about long hair wasn't for little boys but for little girls both in his mother's presence and, alone with the child, would joke about how she would get his hair cut soon so everyone would know he was a little boy. Aiiiaiai.

[laverick]

my childhood best friend had very short hair as a young girl and her face was strong-jawed and not stereotypically feminine. I seem to remember people remarking on how alike in appearance she was to her brother. She hated that hairdo, and has worn her hair long and curly ever since. I think she makes almost a conscious effort at times to look especially feminite now as a result.

[laverick]

cute typo "feminite", I meant feminine of course