I keep waiting for Clinton and Stacy to ambush me with film footage and a Visa.
Why oh why aren't sweat pants considered fashionable? 'Cause dude, I would be the most stylish girl around if sweat pants were considered fashionable and flattering. Alas, the editors at Vogue just don't see things my way. It's not that I don't want to look good, it's just that the definition of what looks good (okay, and the visual effect) conflicts with my deep and abiding love of cheap stretchy pants.
I honestly tried on at least 18 different articles of clothing the other night when I was getting dressed to go to dinner with friends. I'd spent the day in sweats up until that point, and once I tried to get dressed in something acceptable to wear to a nice restaurant, everything else just felt awful. Everything was too stiff and too tight or had too much of a muffin top effect. Some of this is related to me gaining back some of the weight I'd lost before going to India, but I was even trying on clothes that fit me this time last year, before all the dieting and exercising even started. Have I really gained back ALL of the weight I lost? My scale doesn't work right now (no batteries), but I don't THINK that's the case. I think it's just that once you've spent the whole day reveling in the comfort of sweat pants and an old concert t shirt (Tori Amos, 2003), everything else just feels like a straight jacket. A really tight straight jacket that accentuates one's muffin top (where did this come from?), boobs (they're out of control!) and back fat (is there really no bra in existence that doesn't create a roll that doesn't seem to exist when naked?). I finally settled on an outfit that had some problems but still more or less worked, but I brought along a pair of scrubs and a t-shirt that I got free after donating blood a couple of years ago. As soon as I got back to The Man's house after dinner, I put those on.
The Man knows that when I say I'm going to slip into something more comfortable, it is definitely NOT a euphemism for lingerie.
I honestly tried on at least 18 different articles of clothing the other night when I was getting dressed to go to dinner with friends. I'd spent the day in sweats up until that point, and once I tried to get dressed in something acceptable to wear to a nice restaurant, everything else just felt awful. Everything was too stiff and too tight or had too much of a muffin top effect. Some of this is related to me gaining back some of the weight I'd lost before going to India, but I was even trying on clothes that fit me this time last year, before all the dieting and exercising even started. Have I really gained back ALL of the weight I lost? My scale doesn't work right now (no batteries), but I don't THINK that's the case. I think it's just that once you've spent the whole day reveling in the comfort of sweat pants and an old concert t shirt (Tori Amos, 2003), everything else just feels like a straight jacket. A really tight straight jacket that accentuates one's muffin top (where did this come from?), boobs (they're out of control!) and back fat (is there really no bra in existence that doesn't create a roll that doesn't seem to exist when naked?). I finally settled on an outfit that had some problems but still more or less worked, but I brought along a pair of scrubs and a t-shirt that I got free after donating blood a couple of years ago. As soon as I got back to The Man's house after dinner, I put those on.
The Man knows that when I say I'm going to slip into something more comfortable, it is definitely NOT a euphemism for lingerie.