E-mail to the author, re: A Kiss is Just a Kiss (boykissing and slash, and why we love it!)
Remember that article I linked to a little while back? If not, here it is again: A Kiss is Just a Kiss. You should definitely read it.
Based on a comment redbrickrose made, that the author doesn't really know fandom, I decided to send an email to her (the author) enlightening her about our little corner of the web. I hope I do us justice. I'm posting it here so you all can give me your opinions.
Dear Ms. Ganahl,
I recently read your article "A Kiss is Just a Kiss," and I found it very interesting. For the purposes of perspective, I am an 18 year old straight woman, and I'd like to reply to some of the things you said. In particular, I would like to focus on this passage:
Maybe more women are in positions of power these days in the entertainment industry, since many women seem to think boy-kissing is pretty sexy too. (I read once that gay porn is very big among single women. What's that about, I wonder? Get Dr. Freud on the phone!) For me, I think it depends on how it's presented. Comically -- a la "Hitch" or "American Pie 2" -- it's not at all sexy. And when both actors are supposed to be gay, and completely at ease with displays of affection (as in "Queer as Folk"), again, it's not that sexy. But pent-up hetero boys giving in to their curious urges? As in "Kinsey," or "Y Tu Mamá También"? Mamma mia.
I don't think a lot of women share my fascination. But if most women can take or leave boy-kissing, it sure makes straight men uncomfortable! Even the actors themselves.
While most of the article rang very true to me, and coincided with many of the things I have been thinking recently, there is something that you've missed (or maybe simply don't agree with), and that is the huge straight female population that absolutely adores things like "Queer as Folk." I personally am a massive fan of the show, almost entirely because of the main couple: Brian and Justin. I assume that you've seen the show, and you therefore know that Brian and Justin are anything but vague about their sexuality. Brian is as gay as they come, and also as promiscuous as they come. And us straight girls love him. And him with Justin, in particular. We find their scenes incredibly sexy! Boy-kissing (I love that you used that word, it's a favorite among me and my friends) is incredibly alluring, in any form, and I would almost argue especially when it is consenting and comfortable. After a while, they are no longer two gay men, but two lovers. I, and many of my fellow fans, have fallen in love with Brian and Justin because of who they are as people, and their relationship (or rather, their non-relationship, at times), and in my opinion that is one of the hugest triumphs of the show. But at the same time, we do find the boy-kissing (and boy-other activities...) very attractive.
Now you may be wondering who I mean by "we;" I am referring to the community of fans that is present, very strongly, on the blogging service of livejournal.com . LJ is how I first found QaF, and subsequently found all the female fans that are out there. We share fanfiction, fanart, fan videos, and discussions on the characters and stories of the show. And the community is overwhelmingly female; in all of the months that I have been a part of it, I have only once or twice encountered a male fan of the show, and both of them were gay. I suppose that is a characteristic of the medium, because I know that there is a large male (gay) population that watches the show, they just don't go onto blogs and "squee" about it. But there are certainly a lot of us out there. The "queerasfolkfans" community currently has 2219 members, and there are many other communities and journals geared towards female fans of the show.
Now, as for the why, I'm not sure I can come up with an answer to that. I've actually often wondered that myself. From "Queer as Folk," I have branched off into other types of gay media; my favorite movie is far and above Velvet Goldmine, which you also referenced in your article. In this case, it's harder to get to know the people involved, since it's a much shorter framework, and also the nature of the story does not delve too far into personality; but again, the "gay" factor is just a part of the enjoyment. As a story and as a movie, I love VG independent of the "boy-kissing," but somehow that just elevates it to another level; it spices it up, if you will. I am also extremely excited for the upcoming Brokeback Mountain, which looks to be a beautiful story that just happens to be about gay men. Beyond movies and television, there are also books. I recently finished a series of fantasy novels called "Nightrunner," by Lynn Flewelling, in which the main two characters are men in a relationship (well, after a period of figuring things out for the first two books). To me the books were an amazing find (I was recommended them by friends on livejournal, actually) because my favorite literary genre is fantasy, and now here there was a melding of my two interests into one. The books were engaging, entertaining, and by the end I had simply fallen in love with the two main characters. It is not graphic at all, but simply a portrayal of a loving relationship that, again, just happens to include two men. I am soon going to start another fantasy book series called "Wraeththu," by Storm constantine, that involves an androgynous race, and therefore many "gay" couples, by our way of thinking.
I want to also touch on an aspect of "fandom," on livejournal in particular, that demonstrates just how entertained and attracted straight women are by men together. This aspect is "slash." I don't know if you have heard the term before, but it refers to pairing two men together in a fandom (or perhaps between fandoms) who are not gay. The term comes from the symbol "/", or a slash, which is used to denote pairings, such as Brian/Justin. It can also be used for two women (femslash) but that is less common. People then write stories or create artwork that put these two men into a relationship, or at least some sexual situation, that they would never be in in "canon." As strange as this may seem, the practice is extremely widespread. I know I find myself thinking with a slashy mindset when I watch almost anything. For example, a very popular slash pairing is Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, from the Star Wars movies. Have you seen Revenge of the Sith? If so, then you might know where this stems from. But slash can be incredibly and wildly out there, sometimes to a disturbing extent; for example, in the Harry Potter fandom, it is rather popular to pair Snape and Harry. I personally don't subscribe to that, but there are many women who do! All of this does play more to your interest in two heterosexual men giving in to their "urges," although often slash fanfic assumes that the characters are actually gay. Often, it becomes an accepted truth among a certain group of people.
I think that the visceral attraction stems from the fact that since boykissing involves two men, and straight women find men attractive, so therefore it is simply double the attraction. There is also a sense of detachment, impersonality, because you do not feel compelled to insert yourself into the situation at all (except, perhaps, as a voyeur...) and therefore you can enjoy without any conflicting emotions. There is no element of jealousy, as in watching heterosexual relationships, because you don't have to compare yourself to one of the people in the relationship and inevitably find yourself lacking (whether it be in personality or physical attributes or anything else). Watching gay men, or reading about gay men, is a pure pleasure with no strings attached. I realize that this is not true for all women, by any means, but what I am saying definitely holds true for a significant number of straight women.
I would like to thank you for writing such a thoughtful and candid article on a topic that is so relevant to me; it was very nice to see it expressed in an "official" manner, in a newspaper that other people read. I hope that eventually homosexuality will not be anything worth any special note in media, but that day is some time to come, so in the meantime, it is good to know that there are people like you out there. I hope that you found something interesting about my perspective.
Sincerely,
Anne Gillies
Based on a comment redbrickrose made, that the author doesn't really know fandom, I decided to send an email to her (the author) enlightening her about our little corner of the web. I hope I do us justice. I'm posting it here so you all can give me your opinions.
Dear Ms. Ganahl,
I recently read your article "A Kiss is Just a Kiss," and I found it very interesting. For the purposes of perspective, I am an 18 year old straight woman, and I'd like to reply to some of the things you said. In particular, I would like to focus on this passage:
Maybe more women are in positions of power these days in the entertainment industry, since many women seem to think boy-kissing is pretty sexy too. (I read once that gay porn is very big among single women. What's that about, I wonder? Get Dr. Freud on the phone!) For me, I think it depends on how it's presented. Comically -- a la "Hitch" or "American Pie 2" -- it's not at all sexy. And when both actors are supposed to be gay, and completely at ease with displays of affection (as in "Queer as Folk"), again, it's not that sexy. But pent-up hetero boys giving in to their curious urges? As in "Kinsey," or "Y Tu Mamá También"? Mamma mia.
I don't think a lot of women share my fascination. But if most women can take or leave boy-kissing, it sure makes straight men uncomfortable! Even the actors themselves.
While most of the article rang very true to me, and coincided with many of the things I have been thinking recently, there is something that you've missed (or maybe simply don't agree with), and that is the huge straight female population that absolutely adores things like "Queer as Folk." I personally am a massive fan of the show, almost entirely because of the main couple: Brian and Justin. I assume that you've seen the show, and you therefore know that Brian and Justin are anything but vague about their sexuality. Brian is as gay as they come, and also as promiscuous as they come. And us straight girls love him. And him with Justin, in particular. We find their scenes incredibly sexy! Boy-kissing (I love that you used that word, it's a favorite among me and my friends) is incredibly alluring, in any form, and I would almost argue especially when it is consenting and comfortable. After a while, they are no longer two gay men, but two lovers. I, and many of my fellow fans, have fallen in love with Brian and Justin because of who they are as people, and their relationship (or rather, their non-relationship, at times), and in my opinion that is one of the hugest triumphs of the show. But at the same time, we do find the boy-kissing (and boy-other activities...) very attractive.
Now you may be wondering who I mean by "we;" I am referring to the community of fans that is present, very strongly, on the blogging service of livejournal.com . LJ is how I first found QaF, and subsequently found all the female fans that are out there. We share fanfiction, fanart, fan videos, and discussions on the characters and stories of the show. And the community is overwhelmingly female; in all of the months that I have been a part of it, I have only once or twice encountered a male fan of the show, and both of them were gay. I suppose that is a characteristic of the medium, because I know that there is a large male (gay) population that watches the show, they just don't go onto blogs and "squee" about it. But there are certainly a lot of us out there. The "queerasfolkfans" community currently has 2219 members, and there are many other communities and journals geared towards female fans of the show.
Now, as for the why, I'm not sure I can come up with an answer to that. I've actually often wondered that myself. From "Queer as Folk," I have branched off into other types of gay media; my favorite movie is far and above Velvet Goldmine, which you also referenced in your article. In this case, it's harder to get to know the people involved, since it's a much shorter framework, and also the nature of the story does not delve too far into personality; but again, the "gay" factor is just a part of the enjoyment. As a story and as a movie, I love VG independent of the "boy-kissing," but somehow that just elevates it to another level; it spices it up, if you will. I am also extremely excited for the upcoming Brokeback Mountain, which looks to be a beautiful story that just happens to be about gay men. Beyond movies and television, there are also books. I recently finished a series of fantasy novels called "Nightrunner," by Lynn Flewelling, in which the main two characters are men in a relationship (well, after a period of figuring things out for the first two books). To me the books were an amazing find (I was recommended them by friends on livejournal, actually) because my favorite literary genre is fantasy, and now here there was a melding of my two interests into one. The books were engaging, entertaining, and by the end I had simply fallen in love with the two main characters. It is not graphic at all, but simply a portrayal of a loving relationship that, again, just happens to include two men. I am soon going to start another fantasy book series called "Wraeththu," by Storm constantine, that involves an androgynous race, and therefore many "gay" couples, by our way of thinking.
I want to also touch on an aspect of "fandom," on livejournal in particular, that demonstrates just how entertained and attracted straight women are by men together. This aspect is "slash." I don't know if you have heard the term before, but it refers to pairing two men together in a fandom (or perhaps between fandoms) who are not gay. The term comes from the symbol "/", or a slash, which is used to denote pairings, such as Brian/Justin. It can also be used for two women (femslash) but that is less common. People then write stories or create artwork that put these two men into a relationship, or at least some sexual situation, that they would never be in in "canon." As strange as this may seem, the practice is extremely widespread. I know I find myself thinking with a slashy mindset when I watch almost anything. For example, a very popular slash pairing is Obi-Wan Kenobi/Anakin Skywalker, from the Star Wars movies. Have you seen Revenge of the Sith? If so, then you might know where this stems from. But slash can be incredibly and wildly out there, sometimes to a disturbing extent; for example, in the Harry Potter fandom, it is rather popular to pair Snape and Harry. I personally don't subscribe to that, but there are many women who do! All of this does play more to your interest in two heterosexual men giving in to their "urges," although often slash fanfic assumes that the characters are actually gay. Often, it becomes an accepted truth among a certain group of people.
I think that the visceral attraction stems from the fact that since boykissing involves two men, and straight women find men attractive, so therefore it is simply double the attraction. There is also a sense of detachment, impersonality, because you do not feel compelled to insert yourself into the situation at all (except, perhaps, as a voyeur...) and therefore you can enjoy without any conflicting emotions. There is no element of jealousy, as in watching heterosexual relationships, because you don't have to compare yourself to one of the people in the relationship and inevitably find yourself lacking (whether it be in personality or physical attributes or anything else). Watching gay men, or reading about gay men, is a pure pleasure with no strings attached. I realize that this is not true for all women, by any means, but what I am saying definitely holds true for a significant number of straight women.
I would like to thank you for writing such a thoughtful and candid article on a topic that is so relevant to me; it was very nice to see it expressed in an "official" manner, in a newspaper that other people read. I hope that eventually homosexuality will not be anything worth any special note in media, but that day is some time to come, so in the meantime, it is good to know that there are people like you out there. I hope that you found something interesting about my perspective.
Sincerely,
Anne Gillies