You're my perfect little punching bag
I just wanted to say a quick few words about 2008. All the economic shitstorm and what have you at the end here is casting a pall over the year as a whole, but it was really something special for me... at least at the beginning. The year was quite cruelly split in half for me, so it's hard to remember that Dublin really WAS part of this year. At the same time, it seems a million years ago, or that it lasted just the blink of an eye. Being in Dublin felt like taking a vacation from my own life, or conversely actually living my life for the first time. The memories are so vivid and gorgeous and intense that just looking at a couple pictures can bring everything rushing back and cause tears to prick at my eyes. The first three months of 2008 were easily the best of my life. It was the middle term (Michaelmas) of Trinity's school year, and I didn't have any labs to do, so I was free as a bird. I went to lectures and that was it. So I had endless expanses of free time which I used quite fruitfully. I was going out with my friends and having a blast at least twice a week, and during that time I was becoming extremely close to Kate, Emily, Cary, and Megan. I wasn't dating anyone (I was between Colin and James) so I was just... free. I cannot remember another time when I felt that happy and vibrant and alive. Then my best friend Michelle came to visit me in Dublin, followed immediately by my dad and sister, which was so so much fun. Niall and Laura's birthdays, St. Paddy's Day, Father Ted Night, going to Germany, Belfast, Cardiff, Brighton, and Oxford, endless hours of Guitar Hero, nights at The Pav or Fibbers or The Porterhouse or Doyles, throwing fantastic house parties, the PERFECT last week full of friends and joy... my memories are legion. Niall, Paddy, Lou, Dara, Barry, Bren, Niall C, James, Paul, Sinead, Sarah. It hurts my stomach to not be there anymore, but I will always treasure the memory and the people that are in my life because of Dublin.
*deep breath* Then I came home, and immediately had to start my lab job at my college. I was depressed but determined to make the best of being here... it only kind of worked. The school year started and I was thrust into some of the most intense and constant work I have ever had to accomplish. I also met Jeremy Moss. Oh yeah, and we elected a man that I truly believe in to the presidency. It was a weird, reclusive semester that is such a polar opposite to all that I just described about Dublin. I think I'm still trying to recover my equilibrium. But now I'm heading into my last semester of college, gearing up for grad school, and I don't even know where my head's at. Sometimes I feel impossibly old and grown up, sometimes I feel like a stumbling, naive little child. I'm both excited and scared of what 2009 will bring. I know that nothing will ever be Dublin again (though I do hope I'll make it back this summer) but I do hope that the growing I did in Dublin will serve me in good stead as I try to find my footing.
And that's enough of that! Dublin has been on my mind a lot lately... I think I just needed to talk about it some.
On a completely different note, I have been thinking a lot about vidding lately! I've made three music videos (Harry Potter, Buffy, and Supernatural) and I love all of them so much. I just don't have the tools anymore - the last time I did it I used my PC laptop and actually went through all the complicated crap to get Premiere working. But now I've got a Mac and I don't really want to go through the ridiculous process of downloading and figuring out Final Cut Pro. So I'm playing around with iMovie just to see what happens.
The idea I'm working with? A Merlin vid set to "I Just Can't Wait to be King". YEAH. I think Rob suggested it as a joke while he was watching with me and Michelle, and Michelle and I were like "....YES!" and now it won't leave my head! I started converting and organizing and clipping stuff last night. Who knows if I'll actually follow through with it! But it's just such an awesome idea, and Merlin has the really nice benefit of very limited source material, that I can't not *try*. Heehee.
A side effect of getting back in the vidding mindset is that I keep thinking of songs I listen to as potential vidding songs. I was listening to Pink's (I refuse to call her P!nk) latest album, and the song "Please Don't Leave Me" hit me as hilariously appropriate for Merlin and Arthur.
Do you know if I can yell any louder
How many times have I kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
da da da da-da
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is....broken
Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don't mean it
I mean it, I promise
Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Da da da-da da
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry.
Seriously, it's lolariously PERFECT. Semi-emo, just like preshface Arthur, but the music has this fun bouncy thing going on that I think would go well with the show. And, my perfect little punching bag. Ahahaha. I don't even know. I just know that it's PERFECT. <3
A couple fun things from today - I chatted with Jeremy on AIM tonight! Just for about 15 minutes, but it was really nice cause I've been missing him. Also, I got a voicemail today from my uncle's sister - she works for the National Institutes of Health and their Graduate Partnership Program. My uncle gave her my CV, and apparently she's really interested, or else she wouldn't be calling, especially since their application deadline was in December! She said she's going out of the country but she's passing me on to someone else in her office, so I'll probably be hearing from them soon. I have no idea if anything would come of it (the GPP is basically where you enroll at a university for your PhD and do courses there, but then do your dissertation research with a mentor at the NIH) but it's still really cool that my CV was apparently that impressive. Gives me good hope for my grad school apps! Which I still need to finish, rar.
I am so relaxed and unstressed right now - I'd forgotten what this feels like. *HAPPY SIGH*
*deep breath* Then I came home, and immediately had to start my lab job at my college. I was depressed but determined to make the best of being here... it only kind of worked. The school year started and I was thrust into some of the most intense and constant work I have ever had to accomplish. I also met Jeremy Moss. Oh yeah, and we elected a man that I truly believe in to the presidency. It was a weird, reclusive semester that is such a polar opposite to all that I just described about Dublin. I think I'm still trying to recover my equilibrium. But now I'm heading into my last semester of college, gearing up for grad school, and I don't even know where my head's at. Sometimes I feel impossibly old and grown up, sometimes I feel like a stumbling, naive little child. I'm both excited and scared of what 2009 will bring. I know that nothing will ever be Dublin again (though I do hope I'll make it back this summer) but I do hope that the growing I did in Dublin will serve me in good stead as I try to find my footing.
And that's enough of that! Dublin has been on my mind a lot lately... I think I just needed to talk about it some.
On a completely different note, I have been thinking a lot about vidding lately! I've made three music videos (Harry Potter, Buffy, and Supernatural) and I love all of them so much. I just don't have the tools anymore - the last time I did it I used my PC laptop and actually went through all the complicated crap to get Premiere working. But now I've got a Mac and I don't really want to go through the ridiculous process of downloading and figuring out Final Cut Pro. So I'm playing around with iMovie just to see what happens.
The idea I'm working with? A Merlin vid set to "I Just Can't Wait to be King". YEAH. I think Rob suggested it as a joke while he was watching with me and Michelle, and Michelle and I were like "....YES!" and now it won't leave my head! I started converting and organizing and clipping stuff last night. Who knows if I'll actually follow through with it! But it's just such an awesome idea, and Merlin has the really nice benefit of very limited source material, that I can't not *try*. Heehee.
A side effect of getting back in the vidding mindset is that I keep thinking of songs I listen to as potential vidding songs. I was listening to Pink's (I refuse to call her P!nk) latest album, and the song "Please Don't Leave Me" hit me as hilariously appropriate for Merlin and Arthur.
Do you know if I can yell any louder
How many times have I kicked you outta here?
Or said something insulting?
da da da da-da
I can be so mean when I wanna be
I am capable of really anything
I can cut you into pieces
But my heart is....broken
Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Please don't leave me
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
How did I become so obnoxious?
What is it with you that makes me act like this?
I've never been this nasty
Can't you tell that this is all just a contest?
The one that wins will be the one that hits the hardest
But baby I don't mean it
I mean it, I promise
Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Da da da-da da
Please don't leave me
Da da da-da da
I always say how I don't need you
But it's always gonna come right back to this
Please, don't leave me
I forgot to say out loud how beautiful you really are to me
I can't be without, you're my perfect little punching bag
And I need you, I'm sorry.
Seriously, it's lolariously PERFECT. Semi-emo, just like preshface Arthur, but the music has this fun bouncy thing going on that I think would go well with the show. And, my perfect little punching bag. Ahahaha. I don't even know. I just know that it's PERFECT. <3
A couple fun things from today - I chatted with Jeremy on AIM tonight! Just for about 15 minutes, but it was really nice cause I've been missing him. Also, I got a voicemail today from my uncle's sister - she works for the National Institutes of Health and their Graduate Partnership Program. My uncle gave her my CV, and apparently she's really interested, or else she wouldn't be calling, especially since their application deadline was in December! She said she's going out of the country but she's passing me on to someone else in her office, so I'll probably be hearing from them soon. I have no idea if anything would come of it (the GPP is basically where you enroll at a university for your PhD and do courses there, but then do your dissertation research with a mentor at the NIH) but it's still really cool that my CV was apparently that impressive. Gives me good hope for my grad school apps! Which I still need to finish, rar.
I am so relaxed and unstressed right now - I'd forgotten what this feels like. *HAPPY SIGH*