The gods have not created man. Man has created gods.

[exsequar]

For the record, I STILL LOVE JOSH LYMAN. This is getting slightly ridiculous. Heaaaarts <33333 Does ANYBODY know where I can find some good Sam/Josh fic??? Rec lists, authors, ANYTHING? I know there has to be something out there, but my searching skillz are failing utterly! :( I am now going back and rewatching some S1 episodes and I'm noticing even the TINIEST Sam/Josh moments. This is a SURE sign that I need fic.

Let's bulletpoint.

Yesterday, I:

• Went to Cinema lecture. Prof Moss continues to be adorable. We watched a clip from a 2006 movie called The TV Set which stars David Duchovny. It was like, surprise!DavidDuchovny at 10 in the morning! I was pleased. I was, however, not pleased by the new girl in the class who is LOUD and obnoxious and would not shut the fuck up about how she thought The Dark Knight was "the perfect movie". I wanted to strangle her. She's small and blonde and was wearing a kimono. Ugh hate. I am still impressed by how Prof Moss deals with idiots though. I could not do as well.
  
• Went to Analytical Chem lecture. About as exciting as you'd think.
  
• Went to work at the library for three hours.
  
• Went to Prof Moss's office to make up the quiz I missed on Friday. He's still, in case you were wondering, adorable.
  
• Went to the lab to tie up some loose ends for about an hour.
  
• Ran home for a half hour break and a frozen dinner.
  
• Went to the screening of Jean-Luc Godard's Le Meprise (Contempt) for Cinema class. I'd never seen a Godard film so it was quite an experience. He's an experimental, wacky French filmmaker, for those who don't know, and I really liked the movie. Afterwards I stayed chatting with Prof Moss and another student named Dave about the movie and other movies. Dave is deeply attractive, with long hair and freckles and beautiful eyes, and he's smart and articulate. Needless to say, I've noticed him before. We chatted before the movie too, when I found out he's 23, a sophomore, local, took years out between high school and college, and wants to be a filmmaker. He's awesome. Chatting with the two of them was really interesting, even though I knew a lot less than they did about movies. Afterwards, I asked Dave if he might give me company home since it's a bad neighborhood to walk through at night, and he offered me a ride :) But here's the clincher: he revealed that he lives with his girlfriend. Well damn. So, new friend yay, but not new potential anything else. All the good ones are taken!

Today, I:

• Woke up at 6:45. Say it with me: ughhhhh. I had to go in early for my prof's office hours at 8. Luckily he helped me out quite a bit so it was worth it.
  
• Wore the following: my new skinny jeans (I've never owned anything but flare before! But these were size 11 SHORT, the only pair of that size in all of Aeropostale, and they don't even touch the ground!! It's miraculous and I really love them), my Chucks, a black SPN Impala tshirt, and a black MCR hoodie. Basically, SCENEKID. And as a result, I felt like an ALIEN on my upper-middle class preppy college campus. Seriously. This led me to a whole thought process about how Ireland let me truly discover myself and never made me feel ashamed for it, but that's for some other time.
  
• Had Biochem lecture. Mehl is SUCH a good lecturer, I'm learning so much. Still terrified of his class, but getting a better handle.
  
• Worked at the library for two hours.
  
• Worked in the lab for two hours.
  
• Came home at FOUR! :O This is literally the earliest I've been home on a weekday since classes started. I have to go back into the lab to check the progress of a reaction later this evening though.

School is pretty much overwhelmingly nonstop, as you can tell. The actual daily routine I can handle no problem, but the main emotion I'm feeling right now is... isolation. I am having zero social interaction with anyone that isn't my two roommates. Which, thank god they're my best friends because that could suck even more otherwise. I walk around campus and occasionally see a face I know, even more occasionally see someone whose name I know, and only very rarely see someone I know well enough to say hi. Partially this is because fully 50% of the campus is people who weren't here when I left, and partially because I never had a heck of a lot of friends to begin with, and a lot of them graduated. This is in sharp contrast to how I felt at Trinity, which is 12,000 students (as opposed to 1,800 here) and yet I could hardly walk from one end of campus to the other without stopping and chatting with someone.

I'm trying not to be a downer, sorry. I'm feeling better about academic things than I did a few days ago. But I do fear I'm going to be a little less... chipper than usual in the coming months. Sorry :-/ You all are being really awesome and supportive and I appreciate it a whole lot. I'm sorry if I'm terrible at replies - as you can see, busybusybusy. But I'm reading them all <3