Put that in your pipe and smoke it.
This post has been a long time coming. It is by no means an angry post, just a tad indignant along the edges. Indignant and disappointed.
Right off the bat, I wish people would shut the fuck up about smoking. Yeah, it's bad for you. Yeah, 2nd hand smoke is more dangerous. It causes cancer, bad breath, rotting teeth, bronchitis, AIDS, +2 cool, and the Pope himself personally flies down to hit you over the head with his holy scepter. You aren't telling me anything I haven't heard from the Surgeon General himself.
In fact, the more you tell me not to smoke, you silly Straight Edge kids? The more I want to exhale on your face. Given the personality profile of smokers (don't give a fuck attitude, rebels with a lit stick, etc) preaching to us is a bit short sighted, innit? We'll put out our fags in your eye and piss in your flower pot too.
This sudden streak of anti-smoking activism is so far out, brewed overnight, and came out of nowhere. It shot through the door while we were busy celebrating the arrival of the Pro-Earth consciousness crew, and the damn bastard charlatan pretends to be one of them. Protip #1: gather all the smokers all over the world and let them light up at the same time. The amount of carbon monoxide they exhale pales in comparison to the CO levels found in factory emissions. Any factory emission. The only reason you're cracking down on smokers instead of these capitalist bastards is because we're weak, same as you. But you haven't the balls to take your hippy fight to the higher ups, don't you?
This brings me to culprit number 2. Media, baby, what's wrong? I though we were cool with each other, and now you're spreading all this hatred against me. Isn't that right , Disney? After Old Hollywood filled my head with James Dean and Humphrey Bogart, and both Cid and Kurt were known smokers before they kicked the proverbial bucket with their proverbial DM's (or Chucks. Apparently, they're both not that cool), how could you forget so easily? Didn't I welcome your propaganda with open arms? Didn't we fatten up your cool cats with every breath of non-fresh air? Now you're heading the witch hunt against us. (The funny thing is-- the way we ate up your pro-smoking propaganda is the same way these new-fangled vigilantes are eating up your anti-smoking propaganda. Sly, wily media. Making us fuck each other in the ass with a double-headed dildo).
The bulk of the blame goes to the cigarette manufacturers themselves. I've never heard of a business so sunk in muck and grime. Dating as far back, the Spanish they gave priority in cultivating sugar cane, indigo, and tabacco instead of rice in our islands so they can trade with the Brits. The effects of this wacky tobacky plantation business can still be felt now, what with the rice crisis and the Philippines being the 15th leading producer of cigarettes in the world. I'd claim to help the country's economy if I were sure these cigarette companies paid their taxes.
But it's their propaganda that's incredibly amazing. Back in the day, the American tobacco industry was threatened by this other plant that anyone could grow in their backyard. Hemp. It smoked smoother and had a more relaxing feel than tobacco. Best of all, you could cultivate it yourself. The DIY ethos makes capitalists' collective testicles shrink in fear, so the tobacco industry funded the Hollywood machine to make a movie, demonizing hemp to its users. They called in marijuana and told people it makes them cuh-ray-zee. When the ball got rolling, legislation passed. Hemp users are penalized with jail time while the tobacco industry padded their swimming pools with money. And so it came to be that we smoke lung-cancer causing tobacco while a plant with zero fatalities is categorized right beside crack cocaine.
I'm not asking for sympathy or understanding from the non-smoking population. I've bought into media propaganda knowingly and now I'm hooked on nicotine. But it isn't entirely my fault. You want to blame someone, tear down this capitalist system that made us. The working class smokes to keep awake. Because time spent resting is time spent not earning, and the same capitalist system that makes us smoke needs their workers to be wide awake in the factories, to drive trucks, in the docks. You made us, fuckers. But if you can't let go of your iPod and you want a Starbucks venti in your hand, let us pollute our lungs in peace. Let us pollute yours too. You support the capitalist system, you take it all in. Child labor, sweatshops, outsourcing and all. You can't pick and select.
I'll put my cigarette out for a commie, but not for a cap.
Right off the bat, I wish people would shut the fuck up about smoking. Yeah, it's bad for you. Yeah, 2nd hand smoke is more dangerous. It causes cancer, bad breath, rotting teeth, bronchitis, AIDS, +2 cool, and the Pope himself personally flies down to hit you over the head with his holy scepter. You aren't telling me anything I haven't heard from the Surgeon General himself.
In fact, the more you tell me not to smoke, you silly Straight Edge kids? The more I want to exhale on your face. Given the personality profile of smokers (don't give a fuck attitude, rebels with a lit stick, etc) preaching to us is a bit short sighted, innit? We'll put out our fags in your eye and piss in your flower pot too.
This sudden streak of anti-smoking activism is so far out, brewed overnight, and came out of nowhere. It shot through the door while we were busy celebrating the arrival of the Pro-Earth consciousness crew, and the damn bastard charlatan pretends to be one of them. Protip #1: gather all the smokers all over the world and let them light up at the same time. The amount of carbon monoxide they exhale pales in comparison to the CO levels found in factory emissions. Any factory emission. The only reason you're cracking down on smokers instead of these capitalist bastards is because we're weak, same as you. But you haven't the balls to take your hippy fight to the higher ups, don't you?
This brings me to culprit number 2. Media, baby, what's wrong? I though we were cool with each other, and now you're spreading all this hatred against me. Isn't that right , Disney? After Old Hollywood filled my head with James Dean and Humphrey Bogart, and both Cid and Kurt were known smokers before they kicked the proverbial bucket with their proverbial DM's (or Chucks. Apparently, they're both not that cool), how could you forget so easily? Didn't I welcome your propaganda with open arms? Didn't we fatten up your cool cats with every breath of non-fresh air? Now you're heading the witch hunt against us. (The funny thing is-- the way we ate up your pro-smoking propaganda is the same way these new-fangled vigilantes are eating up your anti-smoking propaganda. Sly, wily media. Making us fuck each other in the ass with a double-headed dildo).
The bulk of the blame goes to the cigarette manufacturers themselves. I've never heard of a business so sunk in muck and grime. Dating as far back, the Spanish they gave priority in cultivating sugar cane, indigo, and tabacco instead of rice in our islands so they can trade with the Brits. The effects of this wacky tobacky plantation business can still be felt now, what with the rice crisis and the Philippines being the 15th leading producer of cigarettes in the world. I'd claim to help the country's economy if I were sure these cigarette companies paid their taxes.
But it's their propaganda that's incredibly amazing. Back in the day, the American tobacco industry was threatened by this other plant that anyone could grow in their backyard. Hemp. It smoked smoother and had a more relaxing feel than tobacco. Best of all, you could cultivate it yourself. The DIY ethos makes capitalists' collective testicles shrink in fear, so the tobacco industry funded the Hollywood machine to make a movie, demonizing hemp to its users. They called in marijuana and told people it makes them cuh-ray-zee. When the ball got rolling, legislation passed. Hemp users are penalized with jail time while the tobacco industry padded their swimming pools with money. And so it came to be that we smoke lung-cancer causing tobacco while a plant with zero fatalities is categorized right beside crack cocaine.
I'm not asking for sympathy or understanding from the non-smoking population. I've bought into media propaganda knowingly and now I'm hooked on nicotine. But it isn't entirely my fault. You want to blame someone, tear down this capitalist system that made us. The working class smokes to keep awake. Because time spent resting is time spent not earning, and the same capitalist system that makes us smoke needs their workers to be wide awake in the factories, to drive trucks, in the docks. You made us, fuckers. But if you can't let go of your iPod and you want a Starbucks venti in your hand, let us pollute our lungs in peace. Let us pollute yours too. You support the capitalist system, you take it all in. Child labor, sweatshops, outsourcing and all. You can't pick and select.
I'll put my cigarette out for a commie, but not for a cap.