Of making choices
I like most things very easily. Relatively a non-fussy person, I have few preclusions (I do have some!) in my life, whether in matters of people, food, choice of lifestyle, interests, activities, etc. Which makes me a fairly jovial, tolerant, interesting and easy person to be with.
But it also makes the decision-making process that much tougher for me. An inability to say no, a tendency to want to keep all doors open, a knack for being up for practically anything and a horrible track record of closing options completely make for a deadly combination. I linger, I procrastinate, I hover way below what could be my personal zenith, just because I can't quite decide which path to pick, among the so many available.
Commitment-phobia, a tenuous link to reality, shuttling between various times and spaces - the curses of indecision are manifest in more tangible ways than what one might imagine. Living in alternate dimensions is a special form of affliction, affecting such people as myself (I know I am not alone, because I know others like me) because most would tire of the cumbersome rituals surrounding it.
The irony of those who like almost everything is that they often cannot like any one thing enough to feel enough conviction and to say no to everything else. Dilettantes of the highest order, we dabble and we experiment, before we flit onto the next fascination. What would my epitaph read? "The one who lived her life trying to decide."? I hope not.
Fate and circumstances have often played catalysts towards a faster, more instinctive decision-making process. What is my fate? Am I ready to include an agent beyond myself towards making choices? Is the fatalistic approach an escapist's easy way out? What am I trying to escape? Life? Growing up? Making choices?
But it also makes the decision-making process that much tougher for me. An inability to say no, a tendency to want to keep all doors open, a knack for being up for practically anything and a horrible track record of closing options completely make for a deadly combination. I linger, I procrastinate, I hover way below what could be my personal zenith, just because I can't quite decide which path to pick, among the so many available.
Commitment-phobia, a tenuous link to reality, shuttling between various times and spaces - the curses of indecision are manifest in more tangible ways than what one might imagine. Living in alternate dimensions is a special form of affliction, affecting such people as myself (I know I am not alone, because I know others like me) because most would tire of the cumbersome rituals surrounding it.
The irony of those who like almost everything is that they often cannot like any one thing enough to feel enough conviction and to say no to everything else. Dilettantes of the highest order, we dabble and we experiment, before we flit onto the next fascination. What would my epitaph read? "The one who lived her life trying to decide."? I hope not.
Fate and circumstances have often played catalysts towards a faster, more instinctive decision-making process. What is my fate? Am I ready to include an agent beyond myself towards making choices? Is the fatalistic approach an escapist's easy way out? What am I trying to escape? Life? Growing up? Making choices?