Picking up the Pieces, 17: Halloween
Title: Picking up the Pieces
Author: exquisite_ugly
Rating/Warnings: M (language, future explicit sex)
Summary: Bella returns to Forks a few years after having married Edward and moving to Alaska. Mistakes and regrets, loneliness and grief, she severs ties and returns to those she truly loves to start over. What will she come home to? AU, A/D/R, M-language/sex
*~*~*
Today I've cried a many tear/And pain is in my heart/Around me lies a somber scene/I don't know where to start/But I feel warmth on my skin/The stars have all aligned/The wind has blown but now I know/That tomorrow will be kinder
*~*~*
Jake was fast asleep next to me, one arm slung over his head, his lips parted slightly in a soft snore. He had bent over backwards to take care of me as I continued to heal from the surgery and because I was still suffering from a few after-effects. It made me feel guilty because he came from working all day to help me make dinner, to shower, and to make sure I was comfortable. He told me to get over it when I said something, but I knew he was tired. I had begun to feel better after the surgery and was able to go to work, but I tired easily and couldn't move too fast because of the stitches. Plus, there was still some residual pain.
Easing out of bed, I pulled the extra blanket out of the open closet and wrapped it around myself. Even with his still better-than-normal hearing, Jake didn't stir. He was fast asleep. Carefully, I slid out of the room and sat out on the little deck off the living room. The night air was a little chilly, but it felt good on my face as I tilted it up to the night sky. The stars were obscured by the clouds, but I could see the faint outline of an almost full moon.
I tried to tuck my legs under me, wincing slightly as my stomach twinged. Taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly, I felt the pain subside enough to relax.
I rested my hand on my stomach, feeling the sadness and fear that came in waves. I leaned my head back, staring at the view of the apartments across the street. Some still had lights on and there was movement behind the curtains. It was a good distraction from thinking about what had been going on in our lives; to see people going about their own business.
The door opened behind me, and I turned my head to see Jake. He looked tired and had faint circles under his eyes.
"You okay, Bells?" he asked. He perched on the chair next to me.
"I'm all right," I said, reaching out to brush the messy tangle of hair off his forehead. "I just couldn't sleep and wanted some fresh air. You look exhausted, though. You've done enough for me; why don't you get some more sleep and I'll be in soon?"
"I'm fine," he said, kissing my neck lightly.
I missed being intimate with him. I needed to heal more first. The conversation about that had been awkward with Carlisle. Every time I was with Jake, I craved him and the way he made me feel. He could brush a lock of his own hair away in distraction and I wanted him. He could be making dinner and I wanted him. He could come home hot, sweaty, and irritable and I wanted him. My need was strong, but Jake held me at arm's length because he was afraid of hurting me. It drove me nuts.
His hand enveloped mine and we sat there, loosely connected, but I knew our bond was solidifying. It was something I was really grateful for. He supported me through this, not once saying anything about how if I had made different choices, I might have a better chance at conceiving. Not that I ever thought Jake would say or even think that, but it was what went through my mind. This had just brought us closer where I couldn't imagine not having him in my life.
"I'm scared," I whispered into the dark, not looking at him.
A soft sigh escaped him. "So am I. I hope Carlisle is right and that this won't affect you anymore."
"And I'm sorry," I admitted finally. "I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but how this happened… I had no idea… and now I've probably ruined things."
My eyes burned with unshed tears as Jake turned to me. Firmly, he took my chin in his hand, turning my face to his. "Don't, Bella. It's not like I like the idea of it, but you didn't know. Do I wish you hadn't married him or been intimate with him? Hell yes, but there is no way I'm going to blame you for this. I know this is hard for you, honey; it's hard for me, too, but I believe we still have a chance. You should as well."
"You really don't care if I can't give you children? I feel like you should have that chance. You didn't ask for this and it makes me feel guilty," I said. My lips trembled, though I managed to refrain from crying.
"Bella, as long as I have you, I'm perfect. This doesn't make you any less than you are. I know I was angry and hurt when you came home, and we're still learning to be together, but I'm proud of you. You came back and you stayed even when things weren't easy. You're strong, honey."
My cheeks were chilled from the tears as I leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder. Jake was everything I ever wanted; it just took me awhile to realize it. We sat there in silence, watching the night pass us by and listening to the crickets chirping. When the rain started up again, he gave a sigh and rose.
"Come on," he said, helping me up and out of the chair. Gently, he picked me up and took me back to bed.
*~*~*
JPOV
I stood staring at the structure of the school. It was pretty amazing to see the progress we had made and to get an idea of how the finished project was going to look. Thankfully, we were right on target and got the outside work done before we rolled into November. It was Halloween weekend already. I checked my watch, realizing Bella would be on her way from work. She was cleared to drive, though her recovery was still in effect. Thankfully, it wasn't much longer. Her need for me was palpable, and I knew mine was for her. Resisting her was getting more and more difficult.
I tapped my fingers on my work bench, staring down at the blueprints, anxious for her to be here. It was nerve-wracking for me knowing she was driving. When I heard gravel crunching outside, relief flooded through me, and I went out to greet her.
She still looked a little worn, but was moving better. And she looked adorable in black jeans, orange-brown sweater with brown and green leaves painted on her cheeks, though I wasn't sure why she had pictures colored on her face.
I touched her cheek lightly, trying to hold back a grin. "What's with the face paint?" I asked.
She rolled her eyes. "Damn, I forgot to wipe it off. It was part of a work thing; kids came in to the office for Halloween and the supervisors asked us to dress the part. I thought I was smart in wearing Halloween colors, but apparently I needed to look more like a pumpkin."
I did laugh then. "You look cute in face paint," I said, earning a punch in the gut.
I slid my arms around her, pressing a kiss to her thick, wavy hair. "I'm glad you're here," I said quietly.
She knew I worried still, so she rested her head on my chest and held on to me. We stood there like that until we were interrupted by the rest of the pack. Even the remaining brothers in my pack that weren't thrilled with Bella had gotten over it in light of everything that happened. They could feel Bella's pain of being unsure if she could give me children one day, solidifying how she felt about me. They already knew how I felt about her. Due to the nature of our relationship, they weren't exactly connected to her like they were to me, but they could read her like a book.
Quil was wrestling with Embry, while Seth egged them on, and making Bella giggle. "Are you sure you're up for tonight?" I asked. My hand eased over her stomach, stroking and soothing.
She smiled. "I am. That one bonfire we were at briefly before we, um, had to leave wasn't enough. I miss going to them."
I chuckled, remembering how we were in such a hurry to get back to her house because we were desperate to be together. The thought was going to drive me nuts because I really wanted her now, but didn't want to hurt her.
"It'll be a fun weekend," she assured me. "We'll go to the bonfire tonight, and we'll go to Emily and Sam's Halloween party tomorrow night and have a good time."
"Only if you dress up as a pumpkin," I teased her.
She gave me a smack, and laughing, we hit the store to grab some supplies before driving down to the beach. Once there, they got the bonfire blazing quickly. We sat around discussing the school and our plans for the holiday.
"We should totally TP the high school," Quil said.
"Or throw eggs!" Jared crowed.
"We should try to frighten the crap out of kids," Paul added.
I just shook my head, laughing. "What are we? Twelve?"
Just then I realized Bella wasn't paying attention. Her focus was on Sam and Emily, and I tuned in, realizing right away what was going on. My stomach sank, and I tightened my arm around Bella. Emily's cheeks were glowing and she looked thrilled. Sam had his arm around her, his hand occasionally drifting to rest protectively on her stomach. He also had a glow about him.
When Bella couldn't take her eyes away, I cleared my throat. My eyes met Sam's, and he looked down briefly before clearing his throat.
"We, um, have an announcement," he murmured quietly. All conversation came to a halt at that.
Leah had been uncharacteristically quiet, and I saw her shift slightly and take hold of Bella's other hand. Emily realized Bella had seen and took a deep breath before looking up at all of us.
"Sam and I are going to have a baby," she finally said.
No one moved at first, the knowledge of what had just happened recently hitting them. Bella's hand tightened briefly around mine, but she smiled. "Emily, Sam… I don't want you to be afraid to be happy for my sake. This is huge news, fantastic news, and I'm thrilled for both of you."
Bella's statement caused everyone to relax a little. The guys got all rowdy, congratulating them, laughing, and there was a lot of back-slapping and hugging. Bella looked calm, happy for them, but I wondered what was going on in her head. Leah leaned over and murmured something in her ear. I could barely hear it, but it had something to do with strength.
Leah's face hadn't changed either, but I could feel the briefest inner turmoil from her before she squelched it. Her eyes met mine, and I nodded slightly. She gave me a small smile. We brought the food out then - hot dogs, potato salad, chips, cookies Emily had made, and of course marshmallows - and ate and talked some more.
When it was time to leave, we made our rounds, and I smiled as Bella hugged Emily and Sam. Her hand rested briefly on Emily's stomach. "I wish you a healthy pregnancy, and I'm so happy for both of you. Let me know if I can help out with anything."
On our way back to the little house we were staying in for the weekend, thanks to Sue Clearwater, I tried to gauge how Bella was feeling. She was quiet, but seemed pretty calm. Once inside, I opened my mouth to say something, but Bella had reached up to lock her arms around my neck. When she urged me down, I could feel desperation in her kiss. Her tongue was insistent; sliding sinuously inside, eager and teasing.
She felt so delicate under my hands, the bones small and fragile, and her skin soft to the touch. I never got tired of the thickness of her hair as I buried my hands in it, tilting her head back slightly to get a better angle. Carefully, I slid an arm under her, lifting her and carrying her back to the bedroom. I stretched out on my side next to her, tracing a pattern over her stomach, to her side, up to her breast, and back down to her hip.
Bella gave a small purr, arching a little at my touch, and tried to hide the wince it caused. I had seen it, though, and I backed off. "Jake, no…" she sighed, tugging my hand back, "Keep touching me."
"Bells, we can't. I don't want to hurt you…"
"You aren't. I need you, Jake, please."
My resolve was weakening, so I idly stroked her hip and said, "We'll compromise. Just hold still. If you move too much, I'm stopping."
I unbuttoned her jeans, hooking my fingers into the waistband and pulled them off along with her panties. Slowly, I got her sweater and bra off so she was bare before me. Her eyes met and held mine, warm with lust, as I leaned down to lightly nip and taste her luscious pink nipples.
She gave a small moan, but I backed off before she could move under me. "Jake," she sighed.
I placed a soft kiss over the area that she had stitches before moving down further. Pressing light kisses to her inner thighs, she tried to keep from squirming, her breath choppier than before. I slid my arms under her thighs, placing my hands under her ass, raising her slightly before I pressed my mouth to the center of her.
"Oh God… mmmm, that feels so good," she panted.
I concentrated on nibbling those soft lips, pressing my tongue to her clit. When she shifted, I reached up and held her down firmly. It was to hold her still so she didn't hurt herself, but it turned her on even more. Slowly, I eased my tongue into her, making her cry out.
"So sweet," I murmured.
Pressing little kisses along the length of her, I looked up to see her head thrashing on the pillow. When I focused on just where she wanted, I nipped, licked, and sucked until she came with a cry. As I moved up next to her, her brown eyes were pleading. "I want to make love to you," she said.
"Soon, honey," I promised. "It's only a couple more days."
When I saw a tear slide down her cheek, followed by another, I knew it was more than just wanting sex. The news of Sam and Emily's pregnancy was hitting her hard and she was looking for something neither of us was ready for just to see if it could happen. She was crying silently now. She turned away from me, but I held her against my chest. Her body shook slightly with her sobs and I remained quiet, letting her get it out of her system.
"I'm s-sorry," she gasped. "I thought I was… I don't know…"
"When the time is right down the road, we'll try," I told her. "Bella, I know this is hard, but it isn't something that should happen now just because it's happening for someone else. I know we aren't ready for kids yet."
She turned and tucked her head under my chin. "I miss being intimate with you even if it hasn't been that long. Seeing Emily just freaked me out, and I thought if I tried right now, maybe it would happen. I just lost my head for a bit," she mumbled.
Her sniffles stopped, and I rubbed her back. "I know. It's okay, honey."
She turned and smiled wearily at me. "Thank you for being understanding. I know I've been a mess lately, and I'm sorry, but it's getting better. This was just a huge reminder."
"Don't apologize," I murmured. "You know I'm here for you. It hasn't been easy, but we're doing okay. We just have to keep on going and continue what we're doing."
When she relaxed against me again, it didn't take long for her to fall asleep. Her soft breath ghosted over my chest as I stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep as I envisioned Bella pregnant with my child.
*~*~*
BPOV
I was embarrassed at my display; practically trying to force Jake to have sex with me before the healing process was complete. I was misguided enough to think if we did so I might get pregnant, too. He was right. It wasn't something I wanted immediately, but all the talk of uncertainty and Emily being pregnant sent me into a bit of a tailspin.
Determined to have some fun and try to forget all of the problems that had cropped up recently, I called Leah to help me find a sexy Catwoman outfit for the party. It didn't take her long to arrive and she smirked when I opened the door.
"So, is Jake going as a sexy Batman? You could wear leather and look at each other all sexy-like. Or you two could duke it out; have a sexy fight."
I snickered at the thought of a sexy fight. "What does that entail? We eventually engage in some naked wrestling?"
She laughed. "I'm rubbing off on you. That's awesome!"
I gave her an innocent smile. "He's actually going as Bane."
We drove to a nearby store to look at costumes. It didn't take long to find a Catwoman costume. It was the typical black leather, though the front unbuttoned to show off some cleavage. I didn't want to go too crazy with something sexy because I still wasn't technically allowed to have sex yet. Jake wanted me, I could tell, but he wasn't bending. He was too afraid of hurting me.
Leah held up a Playboy bunny outfit. "Think I could just wear the ears with a thong?" she asked.
I laughed. "It wouldn't surprise me if you did."
We paid for our outfits and headed back to Charlie's. He was home from work and threw some steaks on the grill for us before we had to leave. Jake met me back at our temporary home and we changed into our costumes. He was still in the bedroom, so I fished out my caramel-coated apples that I'd made that morning along with the chocolate studded rice krispie treats that resembled spiders.
When I turned back around, I gave a shriek. "Jake!" I exclaimed. My stomach had ached a little in response to that, but I refrained from wincing. "You scared the crap out of me!"
The Bane costume was freaky enough to begin with, but on Jake, with his russet skin, his height, and massive muscle, it was pretty terrifying. The mask obscured most of his face and he looked rather evil. He leaned down and nuzzled my neck, though. "Sorry," he said in an overly husky voice, making me giggle at his attempt to sound scary, too.
"Those look good," he said, leaning eagerly over my shoulder. I smirked and gave him a small one.
We got to Emily and Sam's house which was decked out with black and orange lanterns strung in the trees and placed along the front porch and sidewalk. There were orange floodlights illuminating the house, and I could hear thumping music pouring out the windows and front door. The inside of the house was covered in black and orange streamers, fake spider webs decorated the corners of the house, and dancing skeletons and witches hung strategically around the rooms.
The food covered the kitchen table, plus every space of the countertop was taken except for a little spot for my own treats. "Hey Bella," Emily said giving me a hug.
She was too tactful to say anything, but I knew she was worrying about my reaction. I gave her a smile and a hug back. "How are you feeling?"
"Good," she said a little carefully, though I could see the hint of a happy smile ready to bloom on her face.
"The food looks amazing," I said staring in awe at all of it. There were trays of sandwiches, meatballs and sausages, and there were deviled eggs with olives to make them look like eyeballs, bowls of chips, pumpkin soup, and plenty of treats that looked like spiders, marshmallow treats that looked like ghosts, and so many more.
Jake got a massive plate of food while I settled for a more reasonable one. We ate before heading into the living room. The Nightmare before Christmas soundtrack began playing and we laughed and talked with everyone.
It was all perfectly normal and fun, and I couldn't help laughing as the pack managed to tackle and pin down Sam. They managed to get some lipstick and rouge on him before he managed to get out from under them.
I danced with Leah, laughing at her skimpy leather mini-skirt with a bunny tail attached to it. She shook it, making all the men that didn't know her drool. "I think I'm going to be scoring some tail tonight," she said with a wicked grin.
"You're such a slut," I said teasingly.
"I have a strong sexual appetite," she said loftily. I snickered until she wound herself around me, mimicking dry-humping. I think every single man in the place turned and stared. "See how they're all looking at us? What a bunch of dogs."
My cheeks were red, but I couldn't help laughing at her antics.
"Hey, get off my girlfriend," Jake said with a chuckle. "That's my job."
I smiled, sliding my arms around him. "Fine," Leah sighed. "Go off with someone who has a penis, why don't you? I'm gonna go find me a Hugh Hefner, though a hotter and younger version. Toodle-oo!"
Jake was just shaking his head, and I giggled. "She's unique," he said. I agreed whole-heartedly.
He danced with me, holding me against his body, spinning me around carefully. I smiled and let myself be twirled around as I stood on his feet. It didn't take long before we ended up outside, the breeze cooling my cheeks. "Did that punch have alcohol in it?" I asked fanning myself.
He grinned. "I think so. You didn't have that much, though, so I think you're good."
A swirl of yellow and orange leaves rustled around us as the air stirred them. He danced slowly with me, holding me now, so I could rest my head on his shoulder. "I like how your ass feels in leather," he said, surprising a laugh out of me.
"I'll have to wear it more often," I teased. "Maybe when I'm in the clear we can have a little leather night."
He smirked, but I could see his eyes warm at the thought. I could scarcely wait. His mouth trailed a line of kisses along my jaw while we danced until he reached my mouth. The touch of his tongue against mine set off sparks inside me; tingles shot up and down my spine at his touch. His mouth was so warm and I lost myself in his kiss, the languid stroke of his tongue, and I tilted my head back as he tasted my neck.
"Jake," I murmured.
He knew what I wanted, so he let me slide down his body. I wanted to return the favor from last night. "Don't tell me no," I said with a wicked grin. "I promise to be careful. Let's go."
He groaned painfully and laughed. "Okay, let's go say good bye."
As we headed toward the door, I felt a trickle of cold ease down my spine. The back of my neck prickled, and I spun around to stare at the forest behind me. Trees swayed in the cool breeze, the leaves rustling, but I thought I saw a flash of color. It happened so fast, I wasn't sure if I was imaging it or not. The uneasy feeling inside me was still there; fear had me pinned in place momentarily.
Jake looked at me, concerned. "Bells, what's wrong?"
Not sure if I had too much of the alcohol after all, I tried to give him a reassuring smile. "Nothing. I think the leaves rustling and the Halloween spirit is making me a little jumpy."
He frowned, his nostrils flaring slightly as he sniffed at the air. "All I can smell is the hot dogs cooking," he said as the fumes from a nearby cooking pit wafted over. Some of the party had spilled outside and were using the outdoor pit to roast hot dogs. Looking a little frustrated, Jake said, "Let me go further and check…"
"No, don't worry about it," I said, tightening my grip on his arm. I couldn't explain it, but I wanted him by my side. "Let's just go home. I want to be alone with you."
He was still a little tensed, but relaxed at my words, giving me a sly smile. We headed inside to say good bye to everyone before hopping into Jake's car to head home. I stroked his thigh, eager to repay him in whatever way he allowed me.
The feeling I had outside never quite left, though. I pushed it to the back of my mind, attributing it to an overactive imagination, and focused on what was in front of me.
Chapter 18
*~*~*
AN: Hmmm… curious, eh? Heh Hope you enjoyed! And didn't do too bad with the lateness of this chapter. Took me a bit to get back in the swing of it, but going to try for a week and a half again now that I'm home (booo heh)
Author: exquisite_ugly
Rating/Warnings: M (language, future explicit sex)
Summary: Bella returns to Forks a few years after having married Edward and moving to Alaska. Mistakes and regrets, loneliness and grief, she severs ties and returns to those she truly loves to start over. What will she come home to? AU, A/D/R, M-language/sex
*~*~*
Today I've cried a many tear/And pain is in my heart/Around me lies a somber scene/I don't know where to start/But I feel warmth on my skin/The stars have all aligned/The wind has blown but now I know/That tomorrow will be kinder
*~*~*
Jake was fast asleep next to me, one arm slung over his head, his lips parted slightly in a soft snore. He had bent over backwards to take care of me as I continued to heal from the surgery and because I was still suffering from a few after-effects. It made me feel guilty because he came from working all day to help me make dinner, to shower, and to make sure I was comfortable. He told me to get over it when I said something, but I knew he was tired. I had begun to feel better after the surgery and was able to go to work, but I tired easily and couldn't move too fast because of the stitches. Plus, there was still some residual pain.
Easing out of bed, I pulled the extra blanket out of the open closet and wrapped it around myself. Even with his still better-than-normal hearing, Jake didn't stir. He was fast asleep. Carefully, I slid out of the room and sat out on the little deck off the living room. The night air was a little chilly, but it felt good on my face as I tilted it up to the night sky. The stars were obscured by the clouds, but I could see the faint outline of an almost full moon.
I tried to tuck my legs under me, wincing slightly as my stomach twinged. Taking a deep breath, letting it out slowly, I felt the pain subside enough to relax.
I rested my hand on my stomach, feeling the sadness and fear that came in waves. I leaned my head back, staring at the view of the apartments across the street. Some still had lights on and there was movement behind the curtains. It was a good distraction from thinking about what had been going on in our lives; to see people going about their own business.
The door opened behind me, and I turned my head to see Jake. He looked tired and had faint circles under his eyes.
"You okay, Bells?" he asked. He perched on the chair next to me.
"I'm all right," I said, reaching out to brush the messy tangle of hair off his forehead. "I just couldn't sleep and wanted some fresh air. You look exhausted, though. You've done enough for me; why don't you get some more sleep and I'll be in soon?"
"I'm fine," he said, kissing my neck lightly.
I missed being intimate with him. I needed to heal more first. The conversation about that had been awkward with Carlisle. Every time I was with Jake, I craved him and the way he made me feel. He could brush a lock of his own hair away in distraction and I wanted him. He could be making dinner and I wanted him. He could come home hot, sweaty, and irritable and I wanted him. My need was strong, but Jake held me at arm's length because he was afraid of hurting me. It drove me nuts.
His hand enveloped mine and we sat there, loosely connected, but I knew our bond was solidifying. It was something I was really grateful for. He supported me through this, not once saying anything about how if I had made different choices, I might have a better chance at conceiving. Not that I ever thought Jake would say or even think that, but it was what went through my mind. This had just brought us closer where I couldn't imagine not having him in my life.
"I'm scared," I whispered into the dark, not looking at him.
A soft sigh escaped him. "So am I. I hope Carlisle is right and that this won't affect you anymore."
"And I'm sorry," I admitted finally. "I know you probably don't want to talk about it, but how this happened… I had no idea… and now I've probably ruined things."
My eyes burned with unshed tears as Jake turned to me. Firmly, he took my chin in his hand, turning my face to his. "Don't, Bella. It's not like I like the idea of it, but you didn't know. Do I wish you hadn't married him or been intimate with him? Hell yes, but there is no way I'm going to blame you for this. I know this is hard for you, honey; it's hard for me, too, but I believe we still have a chance. You should as well."
"You really don't care if I can't give you children? I feel like you should have that chance. You didn't ask for this and it makes me feel guilty," I said. My lips trembled, though I managed to refrain from crying.
"Bella, as long as I have you, I'm perfect. This doesn't make you any less than you are. I know I was angry and hurt when you came home, and we're still learning to be together, but I'm proud of you. You came back and you stayed even when things weren't easy. You're strong, honey."
My cheeks were chilled from the tears as I leaned over to rest my head on his shoulder. Jake was everything I ever wanted; it just took me awhile to realize it. We sat there in silence, watching the night pass us by and listening to the crickets chirping. When the rain started up again, he gave a sigh and rose.
"Come on," he said, helping me up and out of the chair. Gently, he picked me up and took me back to bed.
*~*~*
JPOV
I stood staring at the structure of the school. It was pretty amazing to see the progress we had made and to get an idea of how the finished project was going to look. Thankfully, we were right on target and got the outside work done before we rolled into November. It was Halloween weekend already. I checked my watch, realizing Bella would be on her way from work. She was cleared to drive, though her recovery was still in effect. Thankfully, it wasn't much longer. Her need for me was palpable, and I knew mine was for her. Resisting her was getting more and more difficult.
I tapped my fingers on my work bench, staring down at the blueprints, anxious for her to be here. It was nerve-wracking for me knowing she was driving. When I heard gravel crunching outside, relief flooded through me, and I went out to greet her.
She still looked a little worn, but was moving better. And she looked adorable in black jeans, orange-brown sweater with brown and green leaves painted on her cheeks, though I wasn't sure why she had pictures colored on her face.
I touched her cheek lightly, trying to hold back a grin. "What's with the face paint?" I asked.
She rolled her eyes. "Damn, I forgot to wipe it off. It was part of a work thing; kids came in to the office for Halloween and the supervisors asked us to dress the part. I thought I was smart in wearing Halloween colors, but apparently I needed to look more like a pumpkin."
I did laugh then. "You look cute in face paint," I said, earning a punch in the gut.
I slid my arms around her, pressing a kiss to her thick, wavy hair. "I'm glad you're here," I said quietly.
She knew I worried still, so she rested her head on my chest and held on to me. We stood there like that until we were interrupted by the rest of the pack. Even the remaining brothers in my pack that weren't thrilled with Bella had gotten over it in light of everything that happened. They could feel Bella's pain of being unsure if she could give me children one day, solidifying how she felt about me. They already knew how I felt about her. Due to the nature of our relationship, they weren't exactly connected to her like they were to me, but they could read her like a book.
Quil was wrestling with Embry, while Seth egged them on, and making Bella giggle. "Are you sure you're up for tonight?" I asked. My hand eased over her stomach, stroking and soothing.
She smiled. "I am. That one bonfire we were at briefly before we, um, had to leave wasn't enough. I miss going to them."
I chuckled, remembering how we were in such a hurry to get back to her house because we were desperate to be together. The thought was going to drive me nuts because I really wanted her now, but didn't want to hurt her.
"It'll be a fun weekend," she assured me. "We'll go to the bonfire tonight, and we'll go to Emily and Sam's Halloween party tomorrow night and have a good time."
"Only if you dress up as a pumpkin," I teased her.
She gave me a smack, and laughing, we hit the store to grab some supplies before driving down to the beach. Once there, they got the bonfire blazing quickly. We sat around discussing the school and our plans for the holiday.
"We should totally TP the high school," Quil said.
"Or throw eggs!" Jared crowed.
"We should try to frighten the crap out of kids," Paul added.
I just shook my head, laughing. "What are we? Twelve?"
Just then I realized Bella wasn't paying attention. Her focus was on Sam and Emily, and I tuned in, realizing right away what was going on. My stomach sank, and I tightened my arm around Bella. Emily's cheeks were glowing and she looked thrilled. Sam had his arm around her, his hand occasionally drifting to rest protectively on her stomach. He also had a glow about him.
When Bella couldn't take her eyes away, I cleared my throat. My eyes met Sam's, and he looked down briefly before clearing his throat.
"We, um, have an announcement," he murmured quietly. All conversation came to a halt at that.
Leah had been uncharacteristically quiet, and I saw her shift slightly and take hold of Bella's other hand. Emily realized Bella had seen and took a deep breath before looking up at all of us.
"Sam and I are going to have a baby," she finally said.
No one moved at first, the knowledge of what had just happened recently hitting them. Bella's hand tightened briefly around mine, but she smiled. "Emily, Sam… I don't want you to be afraid to be happy for my sake. This is huge news, fantastic news, and I'm thrilled for both of you."
Bella's statement caused everyone to relax a little. The guys got all rowdy, congratulating them, laughing, and there was a lot of back-slapping and hugging. Bella looked calm, happy for them, but I wondered what was going on in her head. Leah leaned over and murmured something in her ear. I could barely hear it, but it had something to do with strength.
Leah's face hadn't changed either, but I could feel the briefest inner turmoil from her before she squelched it. Her eyes met mine, and I nodded slightly. She gave me a small smile. We brought the food out then - hot dogs, potato salad, chips, cookies Emily had made, and of course marshmallows - and ate and talked some more.
When it was time to leave, we made our rounds, and I smiled as Bella hugged Emily and Sam. Her hand rested briefly on Emily's stomach. "I wish you a healthy pregnancy, and I'm so happy for both of you. Let me know if I can help out with anything."
On our way back to the little house we were staying in for the weekend, thanks to Sue Clearwater, I tried to gauge how Bella was feeling. She was quiet, but seemed pretty calm. Once inside, I opened my mouth to say something, but Bella had reached up to lock her arms around my neck. When she urged me down, I could feel desperation in her kiss. Her tongue was insistent; sliding sinuously inside, eager and teasing.
She felt so delicate under my hands, the bones small and fragile, and her skin soft to the touch. I never got tired of the thickness of her hair as I buried my hands in it, tilting her head back slightly to get a better angle. Carefully, I slid an arm under her, lifting her and carrying her back to the bedroom. I stretched out on my side next to her, tracing a pattern over her stomach, to her side, up to her breast, and back down to her hip.
Bella gave a small purr, arching a little at my touch, and tried to hide the wince it caused. I had seen it, though, and I backed off. "Jake, no…" she sighed, tugging my hand back, "Keep touching me."
"Bells, we can't. I don't want to hurt you…"
"You aren't. I need you, Jake, please."
My resolve was weakening, so I idly stroked her hip and said, "We'll compromise. Just hold still. If you move too much, I'm stopping."
I unbuttoned her jeans, hooking my fingers into the waistband and pulled them off along with her panties. Slowly, I got her sweater and bra off so she was bare before me. Her eyes met and held mine, warm with lust, as I leaned down to lightly nip and taste her luscious pink nipples.
She gave a small moan, but I backed off before she could move under me. "Jake," she sighed.
I placed a soft kiss over the area that she had stitches before moving down further. Pressing light kisses to her inner thighs, she tried to keep from squirming, her breath choppier than before. I slid my arms under her thighs, placing my hands under her ass, raising her slightly before I pressed my mouth to the center of her.
"Oh God… mmmm, that feels so good," she panted.
I concentrated on nibbling those soft lips, pressing my tongue to her clit. When she shifted, I reached up and held her down firmly. It was to hold her still so she didn't hurt herself, but it turned her on even more. Slowly, I eased my tongue into her, making her cry out.
"So sweet," I murmured.
Pressing little kisses along the length of her, I looked up to see her head thrashing on the pillow. When I focused on just where she wanted, I nipped, licked, and sucked until she came with a cry. As I moved up next to her, her brown eyes were pleading. "I want to make love to you," she said.
"Soon, honey," I promised. "It's only a couple more days."
When I saw a tear slide down her cheek, followed by another, I knew it was more than just wanting sex. The news of Sam and Emily's pregnancy was hitting her hard and she was looking for something neither of us was ready for just to see if it could happen. She was crying silently now. She turned away from me, but I held her against my chest. Her body shook slightly with her sobs and I remained quiet, letting her get it out of her system.
"I'm s-sorry," she gasped. "I thought I was… I don't know…"
"When the time is right down the road, we'll try," I told her. "Bella, I know this is hard, but it isn't something that should happen now just because it's happening for someone else. I know we aren't ready for kids yet."
She turned and tucked her head under my chin. "I miss being intimate with you even if it hasn't been that long. Seeing Emily just freaked me out, and I thought if I tried right now, maybe it would happen. I just lost my head for a bit," she mumbled.
Her sniffles stopped, and I rubbed her back. "I know. It's okay, honey."
She turned and smiled wearily at me. "Thank you for being understanding. I know I've been a mess lately, and I'm sorry, but it's getting better. This was just a huge reminder."
"Don't apologize," I murmured. "You know I'm here for you. It hasn't been easy, but we're doing okay. We just have to keep on going and continue what we're doing."
When she relaxed against me again, it didn't take long for her to fall asleep. Her soft breath ghosted over my chest as I stared at the ceiling, unable to sleep as I envisioned Bella pregnant with my child.
*~*~*
BPOV
I was embarrassed at my display; practically trying to force Jake to have sex with me before the healing process was complete. I was misguided enough to think if we did so I might get pregnant, too. He was right. It wasn't something I wanted immediately, but all the talk of uncertainty and Emily being pregnant sent me into a bit of a tailspin.
Determined to have some fun and try to forget all of the problems that had cropped up recently, I called Leah to help me find a sexy Catwoman outfit for the party. It didn't take her long to arrive and she smirked when I opened the door.
"So, is Jake going as a sexy Batman? You could wear leather and look at each other all sexy-like. Or you two could duke it out; have a sexy fight."
I snickered at the thought of a sexy fight. "What does that entail? We eventually engage in some naked wrestling?"
She laughed. "I'm rubbing off on you. That's awesome!"
I gave her an innocent smile. "He's actually going as Bane."
We drove to a nearby store to look at costumes. It didn't take long to find a Catwoman costume. It was the typical black leather, though the front unbuttoned to show off some cleavage. I didn't want to go too crazy with something sexy because I still wasn't technically allowed to have sex yet. Jake wanted me, I could tell, but he wasn't bending. He was too afraid of hurting me.
Leah held up a Playboy bunny outfit. "Think I could just wear the ears with a thong?" she asked.
I laughed. "It wouldn't surprise me if you did."
We paid for our outfits and headed back to Charlie's. He was home from work and threw some steaks on the grill for us before we had to leave. Jake met me back at our temporary home and we changed into our costumes. He was still in the bedroom, so I fished out my caramel-coated apples that I'd made that morning along with the chocolate studded rice krispie treats that resembled spiders.
When I turned back around, I gave a shriek. "Jake!" I exclaimed. My stomach had ached a little in response to that, but I refrained from wincing. "You scared the crap out of me!"
The Bane costume was freaky enough to begin with, but on Jake, with his russet skin, his height, and massive muscle, it was pretty terrifying. The mask obscured most of his face and he looked rather evil. He leaned down and nuzzled my neck, though. "Sorry," he said in an overly husky voice, making me giggle at his attempt to sound scary, too.
"Those look good," he said, leaning eagerly over my shoulder. I smirked and gave him a small one.
We got to Emily and Sam's house which was decked out with black and orange lanterns strung in the trees and placed along the front porch and sidewalk. There were orange floodlights illuminating the house, and I could hear thumping music pouring out the windows and front door. The inside of the house was covered in black and orange streamers, fake spider webs decorated the corners of the house, and dancing skeletons and witches hung strategically around the rooms.
The food covered the kitchen table, plus every space of the countertop was taken except for a little spot for my own treats. "Hey Bella," Emily said giving me a hug.
She was too tactful to say anything, but I knew she was worrying about my reaction. I gave her a smile and a hug back. "How are you feeling?"
"Good," she said a little carefully, though I could see the hint of a happy smile ready to bloom on her face.
"The food looks amazing," I said staring in awe at all of it. There were trays of sandwiches, meatballs and sausages, and there were deviled eggs with olives to make them look like eyeballs, bowls of chips, pumpkin soup, and plenty of treats that looked like spiders, marshmallow treats that looked like ghosts, and so many more.
Jake got a massive plate of food while I settled for a more reasonable one. We ate before heading into the living room. The Nightmare before Christmas soundtrack began playing and we laughed and talked with everyone.
It was all perfectly normal and fun, and I couldn't help laughing as the pack managed to tackle and pin down Sam. They managed to get some lipstick and rouge on him before he managed to get out from under them.
I danced with Leah, laughing at her skimpy leather mini-skirt with a bunny tail attached to it. She shook it, making all the men that didn't know her drool. "I think I'm going to be scoring some tail tonight," she said with a wicked grin.
"You're such a slut," I said teasingly.
"I have a strong sexual appetite," she said loftily. I snickered until she wound herself around me, mimicking dry-humping. I think every single man in the place turned and stared. "See how they're all looking at us? What a bunch of dogs."
My cheeks were red, but I couldn't help laughing at her antics.
"Hey, get off my girlfriend," Jake said with a chuckle. "That's my job."
I smiled, sliding my arms around him. "Fine," Leah sighed. "Go off with someone who has a penis, why don't you? I'm gonna go find me a Hugh Hefner, though a hotter and younger version. Toodle-oo!"
Jake was just shaking his head, and I giggled. "She's unique," he said. I agreed whole-heartedly.
He danced with me, holding me against his body, spinning me around carefully. I smiled and let myself be twirled around as I stood on his feet. It didn't take long before we ended up outside, the breeze cooling my cheeks. "Did that punch have alcohol in it?" I asked fanning myself.
He grinned. "I think so. You didn't have that much, though, so I think you're good."
A swirl of yellow and orange leaves rustled around us as the air stirred them. He danced slowly with me, holding me now, so I could rest my head on his shoulder. "I like how your ass feels in leather," he said, surprising a laugh out of me.
"I'll have to wear it more often," I teased. "Maybe when I'm in the clear we can have a little leather night."
He smirked, but I could see his eyes warm at the thought. I could scarcely wait. His mouth trailed a line of kisses along my jaw while we danced until he reached my mouth. The touch of his tongue against mine set off sparks inside me; tingles shot up and down my spine at his touch. His mouth was so warm and I lost myself in his kiss, the languid stroke of his tongue, and I tilted my head back as he tasted my neck.
"Jake," I murmured.
He knew what I wanted, so he let me slide down his body. I wanted to return the favor from last night. "Don't tell me no," I said with a wicked grin. "I promise to be careful. Let's go."
He groaned painfully and laughed. "Okay, let's go say good bye."
As we headed toward the door, I felt a trickle of cold ease down my spine. The back of my neck prickled, and I spun around to stare at the forest behind me. Trees swayed in the cool breeze, the leaves rustling, but I thought I saw a flash of color. It happened so fast, I wasn't sure if I was imaging it or not. The uneasy feeling inside me was still there; fear had me pinned in place momentarily.
Jake looked at me, concerned. "Bells, what's wrong?"
Not sure if I had too much of the alcohol after all, I tried to give him a reassuring smile. "Nothing. I think the leaves rustling and the Halloween spirit is making me a little jumpy."
He frowned, his nostrils flaring slightly as he sniffed at the air. "All I can smell is the hot dogs cooking," he said as the fumes from a nearby cooking pit wafted over. Some of the party had spilled outside and were using the outdoor pit to roast hot dogs. Looking a little frustrated, Jake said, "Let me go further and check…"
"No, don't worry about it," I said, tightening my grip on his arm. I couldn't explain it, but I wanted him by my side. "Let's just go home. I want to be alone with you."
He was still a little tensed, but relaxed at my words, giving me a sly smile. We headed inside to say good bye to everyone before hopping into Jake's car to head home. I stroked his thigh, eager to repay him in whatever way he allowed me.
The feeling I had outside never quite left, though. I pushed it to the back of my mind, attributing it to an overactive imagination, and focused on what was in front of me.
Chapter 18
*~*~*
AN: Hmmm… curious, eh? Heh Hope you enjoyed! And didn't do too bad with the lateness of this chapter. Took me a bit to get back in the swing of it, but going to try for a week and a half again now that I'm home (booo heh)