Picking up the Pieces, 14: Dreams, Dates, and Discovery
Title: Picking up the Pieces
Author: exquisite_ugly
Rating/Warnings: M (language, future explicit sex)
Summary: Bella returns to Forks a few years after having married Edward and moving to Alaska. Mistakes and regrets, loneliness and grief, she severs ties and returns to those she truly loves to start over. What will she come home to? AU, A/D/R, M-language/sex
*~*~*
I'll never let you go/If you promise not to fade away/never fade away/Our hopes and expectations/black holes and revelations/Hold you in my arms/I just wanted to hold you in my arms
*~*~*
BPOV
The snow was blowing into drifts, obscuring the driveway completely. As if I hadn't already felt trapped, it was even worse now. I couldn't walk through it; the snow was too damn deep. Plus, being human, I'd freeze to death.
Instead, I stood at the window, watching as the last streak of light in the sky disappeared and it became night. The house itself mirrored the outside world with all its white rooms and glass windows making me feel as if I were out in the drifts of snow itself. It was even cool inside the house, making me wrap my arms around myself under my hoodie for added warmth.
I wandered over and trailed my hands over the piano keys, sitting down on the bench. This was one thing that Edward had taught me in the beginning, when things were good between us. I had enjoyed hearing his music, so he taught me how to play. It was nothing like how he played it, but I picked up on it fairly well. My fingers flittered over the keys, bringing forth the haunting ballad. This was the first song I had learned.
The music shivered on the air, and I lost myself in the sound.
It was the song Edward taught me, but it made me think of Jacob. The memory of him standing on top of the cliff came to mind, his eyes on mine, as I begged him to stay. The idea of him fighting the newborn army was horrible, and I had been so damn selfish. The kiss had been soft, impossibly warm, and I had seen the life I could have had. It hurt as I sat in this cold house, in the middle of a freezing blizzard, wishing I was warm. With Jake.
My fingers faltered when Edward appeared from outside. His bronze hair glittered as the snow clung there, his golden eyes distant. "What's wrong?" he asked.
It was then that I felt the wetness on my cheeks. Thinking of home, of Jake, wondering what Charlie was doing, had made me cry. Absently, I brushed the tears from my cheeks. "It's… nothing," I murmured. I wasn't up for a fight.
"You miss home," he stated. "You miss your father, mother, and apparently Jacob as well."
"Yes, I do." There really was no use denying it.
"I guess I'll never be rid of the dog, since he occupies so much of your thoughts. Sometimes I wonder why you chose me, this life, when it's so obviously not what you want," he said. His voice was bitter, and I felt miserable and guilty for the choices I made. I should have waited and made sure it was what I really wanted.
"I miss my family. There's nothing wrong with that," I said my voice just as bitter as his. "I knew leaving Forks I might not see them for awhile, but I figured I'd still be able to talk to them. I wasn't anticipating this isolation from them, unable to talk to them after my death was faked. They probably think I disappeared off the face of the earth."
He shoved his hand through his hair, something that had become a frustrated habit of his.
"I know, and I'm sorry for that, but that's not the only reason for our problems, Bella." He turned to stride out of the room.
"No," I replied, knowing he would hear me as I moved back toward the window and the white world beyond. "I did love you, but I want to live. This isn't living."
The little wolf charm on my bracelet lay flat against my palm, a reminder of another life that had been left behind - one that I craved.
There were tears on my cheeks as I woke the next morning, my breath hitching in my throat. Surprised at the tightening of warm arms around me, I remembered I was with Jacob, the man I dreamed about while I was in Alaska. When I was done with work on Friday, he had told me to come over to the apartment. Most of the evening was spent in his bed, until we worked up an appetite to stop briefly for something to eat. It was after another round that I accidentally fell asleep there.
In the middle of the night I woke, worried because I'd fallen asleep instead of leaving, but found I was still in Jake's arms, his soft snores comforting. I had wanted to stay, but wasn't sure what he wanted. He hadn't woken me to go home, and had been wrapped around me, so I curled into him with a smile playing over my lips.
"Bella?" Jake murmured softly. "Are you okay?"
It was a little awkward, but we had promised to confide in each other now, hadn't we? I rolled over to face him. "It was a dream, but it was of something that really happened when I lived in Alaska," I admitted.
He stilled, but nodded slightly, so I began to tell him. To his credit, he stayed quiet while I talked. I told him how trapped I felt at times due to an occasional snowstorm and then because I was stuck in the house after my death. He absently stroked my hair as I tried to explain how strained things were at that point.
"He had always wanted me to live, but I knew he was still bothered in some way by the fact that I didn't want to be turned anymore. I think it was mainly because he had the feeling it wouldn't last if I was still human," I said, fiddling with the blanket between us.
He sighed quietly. "And it didn't. He should have let you go right from the beginning; then none of this would have happened. Selfish leech," he tacked on in an irritated tone. "He should have let you have a life, one worth living, free of misery and heartache."
I let him get it out, mostly because I knew he was right. Edward had dazzled me, and while I had loved him, my humanity and the love I had for a boy who never gave up on me, was the strongest in the end. I should've known better.
"I'm free of misery and heartache now," I assured him. When he met my eyes, I was taken aback at the uncertainty that was there. It struck me how much he had been affected; seeing that in his eyes, knowing the grief that was still hidden, had me tightening my arms around him.
"There's no need for uncertainty," I whispered, kissing him softly, over and over. "As long as you want me, I'm yours. I love you."
"I love you, too." His face relaxed, his lips warming against mine, and I knew no matter how long it took, I would do what I could to show him. I succumbed to his touch again, letting go of all inhibitions, and taking and giving right along with him.
*~*~*
JPOV
"So, you're banging Bella, huh? It's about time," Quil said. His voice floated down to me as I hammered home another nail.
I glanced up at him through my goggles, the sweat dripping down my temples, hot and annoyed. "What's it to you?" I asked feeling crabby. "We're working on it."
Quil held his hands up in surrender. "What crawled up your ass and died, Chief? I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just glad that it's progressing, and it's good to hear you two are working on it."
I stood, stretching the kinks out of my back. "Sorry, man," I said ruefully. "You didn't offend me. I'm a little tired, and we ran into a bit of a snag with the blueprints. I've spent too much damn time today trying to work on that."
"No problem, Jake," he said, handing me a bottle of water. I guzzled it in seconds.
"I may not be as familiar with construction as I am with helping you work on cars, but if you need help, I'll see what I can do," he added.
"Thanks, man," I said. "I might just do that. And as far as Bella, it's going okay. There's still the issue of the marriage, but apparently I can't stay away. And we're both moving past the regret and anger. She's been telling me a bit more of what happened here and there, and I'm trying to do the same. It helps."
"Good, that's really good. And you're fucking like rabbits it seems, too."
I raised an eyebrow at him, fighting a laugh. We really were; being with Bella was addicting and I couldn't get enough of it. We were going at it every possible place we could; in the car, in her room or my apartment, in the woods, right at our driftwood log, up against the wall, in the garage, and I still kept finding new places. She was wilder than I had imagined, and I often wondered if her strength in coming back from what happened lowered her inhibitions a little. I loved it.
We had been in the woods, leaning up against a tree the one day. Bella's soft, perfectly shaped behind was in my hands when she demanded, "Damn, Jake, just do it." Her voice was breathy as well as forceful. "I want you to screw me like there's no tomorrow."
It had caught me off-guard, making me laugh. A dirty-talking Bella was an incredible turn-on.
"Say it again, honey. Tell me what you want," I ordered as I swiveled my hips, slowly drilling myself into her. "Jake," she whined. She took her breast into her hand - though she was more wanton, she still blushed - and urged my head down so she could push her nipple into my mouth.
"Do it," she had gasped as I gave a hard suck on her nipple. "Screw me hard and fast." So, I screwed her just like she wanted; like there was no tomorrow.
We had also nearly been caught in the garage by Quil and Embry, hence his comment.
"You should talk, Ateara. You and Alyssa have been slobbering all over each other lately," I remarked.
He snickered, and his eyes lit up, just like they did every single time her name was mentioned. He was smitten with her, and I was seriously happy she seemed to feel the same way about him.
"Mmmm," he sighed. He got that creepy look, and I cringed away from him.
"Yeah, okay, I think this talk is over now."
His laughter followed me as I went back to work.
When we wrapped up for the day, I stopped in to check on my dad. Charlie was in there with him and they'd just finished watching the game together. "You doing okay?" I asked. "Rach said she dropped off a meatloaf for you for dinner. Should I put it in the oven?"
"Charlie actually got it in - seems Bella is rubbing off on him since he knows how to use an oven now and all - so it should be done soon," he said with a grin.
Charlie punched him in the arm, and I smiled at their antics. "Okay, great, I'll get everything else together and eat with you before I head home."
Billy began to set the table as I got a couple potatoes in the oven and the vegetables out. Charlie turned to me when I was done. "Jake? Can I talk to you for a minute outside?"
"I'll be right back, dad," I said, following Charlie down the front steps.
He turned to face me, his brown eyes so much like Bella's it was unnerving. He looked uncomfortable, but looked me in the eye. "Jake, I haven't really talked to Bella in-depth about all this, but I'm aware the two of you are… seeing each other," he said.
Well, this was going to be slightly awkward. I was kind of tired of talking to everyone about my sex life.
"I know you two had some issues to work through, so I'm assuming you're making progress there, but I'm worried. I know how much you were hurt, and I know how much Bella has been repressing, and I just wanted to hear it from you that you're both aware of this and making an effort not to hurt each other."
I glanced up at him. "Hurting each other? As opposed to just me hurting her?" That sort of surprised me.
He nodded. "Jake, I've always cared about you. I saw first-hand what it did to you, but I also see that Bella suffered, too. I haven't forgotten either… she'll explain to me one of these days what the hell happened, but for right now, I want you two to be aware of what you're getting into. She loves you so much, and I know you love her, but I need to say this."
I could understand his concern, so I answered him as honestly as I could.
"I do love, Bella, Charlie; a hell of a lot. I'm also beginning to understand how much she went through and that she really didn't want to hurt us. We've talked about a few things, got them out in the open, and we're working through it. I want to continue to do so, and I don't plan on bailing on her. We both know what we're getting into," I assured him.
He nodded, looking more relieved. "I'm glad. I hope it continues to work out for you both, but Jake? While I care about you, I will warn you that if you hurt my daughter in any way possible, I'll pull out all the stops. Understand that."
His gaze never wavered once as he threatened me. Knowing he meant it, I nodded my understanding, and he then gave my shoulder a slap. "Later, Billy," he called out and then to me, "See you later, Jake."
I stood watching him drive off, lost in memories of how wan, tired, and depressed Bella looked when she got home from Alaska. It was such a difference from how she looked now. She had vitality now, there was more sparkle in her eyes, and she looked healthier physically. I didn't want to do anything to ruin that, whether or not Charlie threatened me.
After dinner with Billy, I drove back to my apartment. Bella wouldn't be there, which was depressing. I realized after that she had felt awkward about falling asleep and staying over with me, but I had enjoyed it. I liked having her there with me. After I showered and stretched out in bed to watch television, I realized Bella and I had strictly been having sex, but we hadn't actually gone out together.
On a whim, I called her, relieved when she answered.
"Hey, Jake," she said softly, a smile in her voice. "I was just thinking about you."
I wish you were here.
"Bella, are you doing anything this weekend?" I asked, staring out the window at the rain sluicing over the panes.
"Not really. I'm just going out to lunch with Angela on Saturday. Do you have something in mind?"
"Yeah, I was wondering if you'd…want to go out together Saturday night? We could get dinner or whatever you want." I was suddenly feeling kind of tongue-tied.
"Sure," she said. I could hear the surprise and happiness in her tone. It made me feel guilty for not having thought of this earlier. "Should I come there?"
We agreed on a time and bid each other good-night. The smile was still curling my lips as I dozed off.
*~*~*
BPOV
It was the night of our date, and I was excited that Jake had suggested this. Lately, as much as I loved having sex with him, I'd been wondering if we were actually together. We didn't exactly go anywhere together; just to each other's beds or wherever else we felt the urge to have sex.
I was nervous about bringing that topic up, though. We were still talking, but some issues were still a bit sensitive. It was like going to the dentist and then having your tooth poked at it when it's still a little raw.
It was a surprise when he suggested it, but I couldn't wait. I didn't care what we did.
Charlie had ordered a pizza knowing I was heading out for the evening. He was perched in front of the television with it and his beer. When I poked my head in, he jumped and gave me a guilty smile. I had been trying to get him to eat some healthier food in light of Billy's health issues.
I leaned against the doorjamb, raising an eyebrow at him. "Pizza and beer, huh?"
Charlie smiled sheepishly. "One night doesn't hurt, right?"
I rolled my eyes, but laughed. "I guess not. But you have to promise me that when I move out you'll do your best to eat the good stuff on a more regular basis than the bad. I mean it, dad," I added, feeling serious all of a sudden.
He noticed, and he got up to kiss the top of my head. "I do promise, honey. I will eat my salad and vegetables, fruits, and buy only lean cuts of meat. And fish. I'll indulge in a little pizza or beer here and there, but I won't do it real often."
He was teasing me a little, but I could see his eyes were serious. He knew my worries, and he would do this for me.
"Don't worry too much about your old man, kiddo. Though speaking of worry, I know you and Jake are, well… let's say really close."
My cheeks immediately heated. "Dad, you do know we already had the sex talk," I muttered, stringing my words together quickly. Saying sex around my dad still wasn't something I liked. It didn't matter how old I was.
"I know," he said, looking embarrassed himself. "I just wanted to say to keep your wits about you. He loves you, but be careful with your feelings, okay? Just keep talking to each other."
"Is there something I should know?" I asked, suddenly worried.
"No, no," he assured me. "I know Jake's feelings for you are real. I just want the two of you to understand what you're getting into and to work toward maintaining a good relationship."
I relaxed, agreeing with him. "I will, dad," I said and made my escape.
Feeling decidedly feminine enough, but not overdone, I drove to Port Angeles about a half hour later. My hair was braided and pinned at the nape of my neck, the way Leah had shown me, and I was wearing a soft, dove-gray skirt that came to a little above my knees and a pale purple scoop-necked shirt. Jake's bracelet he had given me before the newborn fight was fastened to my wrist, and I wore little silver hoop earrings.
When he opened his door, I felt a rush of warmth between my thighs. It was pretty much a given every time I saw him now. His hair was smoothed back, looking incredibly soft. He was wearing dark slacks and a gray buttoned-shirt, looking delicious and very polished. It wasn't a style I was used to seeing on Jake; he was usually wearing only shorts or jeans and a t-shirt. This was a change and a very nice one.
"You look beautiful," he said, leaning down to kiss me.
"So do you. No sort of about it," I said with a grin.
He chuckled and led me out to his car. He took me to Smuggler's Landing on the waterfront. The view of the water was nice and we ordered clams and soup to begin with and smoked salmon for our entrée.
We agreed that we would keep all sensitive topics at bay for the night, so we talked about books, movies we wanted to see and agreed that's what we would do on our next date, and we discussed Billy and his health.
We just took our last bite of dessert. He sighed, leaned back, and ordered me another glass of wine.
"More wine?" I said with a grin.
"Hey, you're legal," he said, smirking. "Plus, you enjoyed it, and I could see you eyeing your empty glass."
I laughed. "Okay, but only one more."
I sipped my wine, feeling really happy, as Jake's fingers twined with mine on top of the table. When we finished, we strolled along the pier to stretch our legs and he even indulged me by going into the bookstore nearby so I could browse. We held hands as we watched the sunset, and I felt his lips against my temple.
"Let's go," he murmured. "I want you so much."
We hurried back to his apartment, barely able to keep our hands to ourselves. Inside, he hoisted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Our mouths locked, and we nearly fell into his bedroom. I laughed as my foot banged off the bedpost in his haste to deposit me.
I gasped as his head disappeared under my skirt. His mouth pressed against me in a heated kiss right through the flimsy lingerie I bought. My legs spread even wider, a small cry ripped from my throat, but he backed off right away.
His shirt was in the way, and I grasped it, trying to get it off of him. His eyes were wild, hungry, and my hips rose, wanting him to touch me everywhere. "No, baby," he purred, looking exactly like an untamed animal. "Touch yourself."
"What?" I said faintly. This was… new.
"You heard me. Touch yourself. Do it now." His voice was eager with need, demanding and hard, but his hands were gentle.
Hesitantly, I slid my fingers down my thigh, my eyes never leaving Jake's. When I slid my fingers beneath my flimsy pink panties, I realized just how wet I was. My lip caught between my teeth, I slid my fingers inside myself and began stroking. My back arched, my eyes roving over his naked, sculpted torso and down to where his slacks were unbuttoned.
The trail of hair leading down to his bulge had my mouth going dry. I whimpered and began stroking and pinching my clit in earnest, writing under him as he straddled me, watching me pleasure myself.
When I made myself come, I cried out. "Good girl," he murmured, stripping the rest of my clothes off. "Now you get a reward," he said teasingly.
I laughed breathily, gasping when he turned me over so I was face down. I put my hands down as I felt his mouth blaze a trail down my spine, his hands coming around to cup my breasts. When he finally grasped my hips, he inched himself inside me from behind. The position was new for me, and I moaned and thrust back as my body hummed from his touch.
As his hips began to pump, rocking me forward, I tried to hold on to what was left of my sanity.
"Oh," I gasped as he hooked one arm around my stomach, pulling me up so I was sitting on his lap backwards. "Oh yes," I whimpered when my head dropped back onto his shoulder. While he bounced me in his lap, his fingers unerringly zeroed in on my clit.
The fingers of his other hand were playing with my breasts, tweaking and tugging at them. I turned my head, my body throbbing with all that he was doing to me. When my fingers brushed over his, down to explore where we were connected, he groaned.
His mouth sought out mine, and I opened, craving the warmth and the feel of his tongue. Kissing Jake was like eating a decadent dessert; lush and delicious. His lips were soft, and I nipped at them as he continued to drive us toward the edge. His fingers touched my chin, his tongue delving deep, just as my back arched and I came heavily.
"Unhhhhh," I cried out, writhing, as his hips jerked me up higher. He bit down again on sensitive flesh, and I gripped his hair in my fist as he groaned out his own release.
I practically fell forward on the bed. Jake's cheek pressed to the small of my back. I stared out at the winking stars in the sky, feeling wrung out in the best way possible and happy. His lips pressed against my spine, fingers idly stroking over the skin of my side. It tickled, but I was too tired to move.
"Stay tonight," he murmured.
I smiled into his pillow. "Yes."
"And then stay here for good. Live with me, Bells."
Surprised, I managed to lift my head off the bed. "Really?" I asked.
He nodded against my back, and I felt delirious with joy. "Okay," I whispered.
I couldn't stop smiling. I hadn't heard it once since I'd come back, but it didn't escape my notice that he just called me Bells again.
Chapter 15
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AN: Well, this one was a bit lighter for you! Not everything is solved, of course, but they're doing much better wouldn't you say? :o)
Author: exquisite_ugly
Rating/Warnings: M (language, future explicit sex)
Summary: Bella returns to Forks a few years after having married Edward and moving to Alaska. Mistakes and regrets, loneliness and grief, she severs ties and returns to those she truly loves to start over. What will she come home to? AU, A/D/R, M-language/sex
*~*~*
I'll never let you go/If you promise not to fade away/never fade away/Our hopes and expectations/black holes and revelations/Hold you in my arms/I just wanted to hold you in my arms
*~*~*
BPOV
The snow was blowing into drifts, obscuring the driveway completely. As if I hadn't already felt trapped, it was even worse now. I couldn't walk through it; the snow was too damn deep. Plus, being human, I'd freeze to death.
Instead, I stood at the window, watching as the last streak of light in the sky disappeared and it became night. The house itself mirrored the outside world with all its white rooms and glass windows making me feel as if I were out in the drifts of snow itself. It was even cool inside the house, making me wrap my arms around myself under my hoodie for added warmth.
I wandered over and trailed my hands over the piano keys, sitting down on the bench. This was one thing that Edward had taught me in the beginning, when things were good between us. I had enjoyed hearing his music, so he taught me how to play. It was nothing like how he played it, but I picked up on it fairly well. My fingers flittered over the keys, bringing forth the haunting ballad. This was the first song I had learned.
The music shivered on the air, and I lost myself in the sound.
It was the song Edward taught me, but it made me think of Jacob. The memory of him standing on top of the cliff came to mind, his eyes on mine, as I begged him to stay. The idea of him fighting the newborn army was horrible, and I had been so damn selfish. The kiss had been soft, impossibly warm, and I had seen the life I could have had. It hurt as I sat in this cold house, in the middle of a freezing blizzard, wishing I was warm. With Jake.
My fingers faltered when Edward appeared from outside. His bronze hair glittered as the snow clung there, his golden eyes distant. "What's wrong?" he asked.
It was then that I felt the wetness on my cheeks. Thinking of home, of Jake, wondering what Charlie was doing, had made me cry. Absently, I brushed the tears from my cheeks. "It's… nothing," I murmured. I wasn't up for a fight.
"You miss home," he stated. "You miss your father, mother, and apparently Jacob as well."
"Yes, I do." There really was no use denying it.
"I guess I'll never be rid of the dog, since he occupies so much of your thoughts. Sometimes I wonder why you chose me, this life, when it's so obviously not what you want," he said. His voice was bitter, and I felt miserable and guilty for the choices I made. I should have waited and made sure it was what I really wanted.
"I miss my family. There's nothing wrong with that," I said my voice just as bitter as his. "I knew leaving Forks I might not see them for awhile, but I figured I'd still be able to talk to them. I wasn't anticipating this isolation from them, unable to talk to them after my death was faked. They probably think I disappeared off the face of the earth."
He shoved his hand through his hair, something that had become a frustrated habit of his.
"I know, and I'm sorry for that, but that's not the only reason for our problems, Bella." He turned to stride out of the room.
"No," I replied, knowing he would hear me as I moved back toward the window and the white world beyond. "I did love you, but I want to live. This isn't living."
The little wolf charm on my bracelet lay flat against my palm, a reminder of another life that had been left behind - one that I craved.
There were tears on my cheeks as I woke the next morning, my breath hitching in my throat. Surprised at the tightening of warm arms around me, I remembered I was with Jacob, the man I dreamed about while I was in Alaska. When I was done with work on Friday, he had told me to come over to the apartment. Most of the evening was spent in his bed, until we worked up an appetite to stop briefly for something to eat. It was after another round that I accidentally fell asleep there.
In the middle of the night I woke, worried because I'd fallen asleep instead of leaving, but found I was still in Jake's arms, his soft snores comforting. I had wanted to stay, but wasn't sure what he wanted. He hadn't woken me to go home, and had been wrapped around me, so I curled into him with a smile playing over my lips.
"Bella?" Jake murmured softly. "Are you okay?"
It was a little awkward, but we had promised to confide in each other now, hadn't we? I rolled over to face him. "It was a dream, but it was of something that really happened when I lived in Alaska," I admitted.
He stilled, but nodded slightly, so I began to tell him. To his credit, he stayed quiet while I talked. I told him how trapped I felt at times due to an occasional snowstorm and then because I was stuck in the house after my death. He absently stroked my hair as I tried to explain how strained things were at that point.
"He had always wanted me to live, but I knew he was still bothered in some way by the fact that I didn't want to be turned anymore. I think it was mainly because he had the feeling it wouldn't last if I was still human," I said, fiddling with the blanket between us.
He sighed quietly. "And it didn't. He should have let you go right from the beginning; then none of this would have happened. Selfish leech," he tacked on in an irritated tone. "He should have let you have a life, one worth living, free of misery and heartache."
I let him get it out, mostly because I knew he was right. Edward had dazzled me, and while I had loved him, my humanity and the love I had for a boy who never gave up on me, was the strongest in the end. I should've known better.
"I'm free of misery and heartache now," I assured him. When he met my eyes, I was taken aback at the uncertainty that was there. It struck me how much he had been affected; seeing that in his eyes, knowing the grief that was still hidden, had me tightening my arms around him.
"There's no need for uncertainty," I whispered, kissing him softly, over and over. "As long as you want me, I'm yours. I love you."
"I love you, too." His face relaxed, his lips warming against mine, and I knew no matter how long it took, I would do what I could to show him. I succumbed to his touch again, letting go of all inhibitions, and taking and giving right along with him.
*~*~*
JPOV
"So, you're banging Bella, huh? It's about time," Quil said. His voice floated down to me as I hammered home another nail.
I glanced up at him through my goggles, the sweat dripping down my temples, hot and annoyed. "What's it to you?" I asked feeling crabby. "We're working on it."
Quil held his hands up in surrender. "What crawled up your ass and died, Chief? I didn't mean to offend you. I'm just glad that it's progressing, and it's good to hear you two are working on it."
I stood, stretching the kinks out of my back. "Sorry, man," I said ruefully. "You didn't offend me. I'm a little tired, and we ran into a bit of a snag with the blueprints. I've spent too much damn time today trying to work on that."
"No problem, Jake," he said, handing me a bottle of water. I guzzled it in seconds.
"I may not be as familiar with construction as I am with helping you work on cars, but if you need help, I'll see what I can do," he added.
"Thanks, man," I said. "I might just do that. And as far as Bella, it's going okay. There's still the issue of the marriage, but apparently I can't stay away. And we're both moving past the regret and anger. She's been telling me a bit more of what happened here and there, and I'm trying to do the same. It helps."
"Good, that's really good. And you're fucking like rabbits it seems, too."
I raised an eyebrow at him, fighting a laugh. We really were; being with Bella was addicting and I couldn't get enough of it. We were going at it every possible place we could; in the car, in her room or my apartment, in the woods, right at our driftwood log, up against the wall, in the garage, and I still kept finding new places. She was wilder than I had imagined, and I often wondered if her strength in coming back from what happened lowered her inhibitions a little. I loved it.
We had been in the woods, leaning up against a tree the one day. Bella's soft, perfectly shaped behind was in my hands when she demanded, "Damn, Jake, just do it." Her voice was breathy as well as forceful. "I want you to screw me like there's no tomorrow."
It had caught me off-guard, making me laugh. A dirty-talking Bella was an incredible turn-on.
"Say it again, honey. Tell me what you want," I ordered as I swiveled my hips, slowly drilling myself into her. "Jake," she whined. She took her breast into her hand - though she was more wanton, she still blushed - and urged my head down so she could push her nipple into my mouth.
"Do it," she had gasped as I gave a hard suck on her nipple. "Screw me hard and fast." So, I screwed her just like she wanted; like there was no tomorrow.
We had also nearly been caught in the garage by Quil and Embry, hence his comment.
"You should talk, Ateara. You and Alyssa have been slobbering all over each other lately," I remarked.
He snickered, and his eyes lit up, just like they did every single time her name was mentioned. He was smitten with her, and I was seriously happy she seemed to feel the same way about him.
"Mmmm," he sighed. He got that creepy look, and I cringed away from him.
"Yeah, okay, I think this talk is over now."
His laughter followed me as I went back to work.
When we wrapped up for the day, I stopped in to check on my dad. Charlie was in there with him and they'd just finished watching the game together. "You doing okay?" I asked. "Rach said she dropped off a meatloaf for you for dinner. Should I put it in the oven?"
"Charlie actually got it in - seems Bella is rubbing off on him since he knows how to use an oven now and all - so it should be done soon," he said with a grin.
Charlie punched him in the arm, and I smiled at their antics. "Okay, great, I'll get everything else together and eat with you before I head home."
Billy began to set the table as I got a couple potatoes in the oven and the vegetables out. Charlie turned to me when I was done. "Jake? Can I talk to you for a minute outside?"
"I'll be right back, dad," I said, following Charlie down the front steps.
He turned to face me, his brown eyes so much like Bella's it was unnerving. He looked uncomfortable, but looked me in the eye. "Jake, I haven't really talked to Bella in-depth about all this, but I'm aware the two of you are… seeing each other," he said.
Well, this was going to be slightly awkward. I was kind of tired of talking to everyone about my sex life.
"I know you two had some issues to work through, so I'm assuming you're making progress there, but I'm worried. I know how much you were hurt, and I know how much Bella has been repressing, and I just wanted to hear it from you that you're both aware of this and making an effort not to hurt each other."
I glanced up at him. "Hurting each other? As opposed to just me hurting her?" That sort of surprised me.
He nodded. "Jake, I've always cared about you. I saw first-hand what it did to you, but I also see that Bella suffered, too. I haven't forgotten either… she'll explain to me one of these days what the hell happened, but for right now, I want you two to be aware of what you're getting into. She loves you so much, and I know you love her, but I need to say this."
I could understand his concern, so I answered him as honestly as I could.
"I do love, Bella, Charlie; a hell of a lot. I'm also beginning to understand how much she went through and that she really didn't want to hurt us. We've talked about a few things, got them out in the open, and we're working through it. I want to continue to do so, and I don't plan on bailing on her. We both know what we're getting into," I assured him.
He nodded, looking more relieved. "I'm glad. I hope it continues to work out for you both, but Jake? While I care about you, I will warn you that if you hurt my daughter in any way possible, I'll pull out all the stops. Understand that."
His gaze never wavered once as he threatened me. Knowing he meant it, I nodded my understanding, and he then gave my shoulder a slap. "Later, Billy," he called out and then to me, "See you later, Jake."
I stood watching him drive off, lost in memories of how wan, tired, and depressed Bella looked when she got home from Alaska. It was such a difference from how she looked now. She had vitality now, there was more sparkle in her eyes, and she looked healthier physically. I didn't want to do anything to ruin that, whether or not Charlie threatened me.
After dinner with Billy, I drove back to my apartment. Bella wouldn't be there, which was depressing. I realized after that she had felt awkward about falling asleep and staying over with me, but I had enjoyed it. I liked having her there with me. After I showered and stretched out in bed to watch television, I realized Bella and I had strictly been having sex, but we hadn't actually gone out together.
On a whim, I called her, relieved when she answered.
"Hey, Jake," she said softly, a smile in her voice. "I was just thinking about you."
I wish you were here.
"Bella, are you doing anything this weekend?" I asked, staring out the window at the rain sluicing over the panes.
"Not really. I'm just going out to lunch with Angela on Saturday. Do you have something in mind?"
"Yeah, I was wondering if you'd…want to go out together Saturday night? We could get dinner or whatever you want." I was suddenly feeling kind of tongue-tied.
"Sure," she said. I could hear the surprise and happiness in her tone. It made me feel guilty for not having thought of this earlier. "Should I come there?"
We agreed on a time and bid each other good-night. The smile was still curling my lips as I dozed off.
*~*~*
BPOV
It was the night of our date, and I was excited that Jake had suggested this. Lately, as much as I loved having sex with him, I'd been wondering if we were actually together. We didn't exactly go anywhere together; just to each other's beds or wherever else we felt the urge to have sex.
I was nervous about bringing that topic up, though. We were still talking, but some issues were still a bit sensitive. It was like going to the dentist and then having your tooth poked at it when it's still a little raw.
It was a surprise when he suggested it, but I couldn't wait. I didn't care what we did.
Charlie had ordered a pizza knowing I was heading out for the evening. He was perched in front of the television with it and his beer. When I poked my head in, he jumped and gave me a guilty smile. I had been trying to get him to eat some healthier food in light of Billy's health issues.
I leaned against the doorjamb, raising an eyebrow at him. "Pizza and beer, huh?"
Charlie smiled sheepishly. "One night doesn't hurt, right?"
I rolled my eyes, but laughed. "I guess not. But you have to promise me that when I move out you'll do your best to eat the good stuff on a more regular basis than the bad. I mean it, dad," I added, feeling serious all of a sudden.
He noticed, and he got up to kiss the top of my head. "I do promise, honey. I will eat my salad and vegetables, fruits, and buy only lean cuts of meat. And fish. I'll indulge in a little pizza or beer here and there, but I won't do it real often."
He was teasing me a little, but I could see his eyes were serious. He knew my worries, and he would do this for me.
"Don't worry too much about your old man, kiddo. Though speaking of worry, I know you and Jake are, well… let's say really close."
My cheeks immediately heated. "Dad, you do know we already had the sex talk," I muttered, stringing my words together quickly. Saying sex around my dad still wasn't something I liked. It didn't matter how old I was.
"I know," he said, looking embarrassed himself. "I just wanted to say to keep your wits about you. He loves you, but be careful with your feelings, okay? Just keep talking to each other."
"Is there something I should know?" I asked, suddenly worried.
"No, no," he assured me. "I know Jake's feelings for you are real. I just want the two of you to understand what you're getting into and to work toward maintaining a good relationship."
I relaxed, agreeing with him. "I will, dad," I said and made my escape.
Feeling decidedly feminine enough, but not overdone, I drove to Port Angeles about a half hour later. My hair was braided and pinned at the nape of my neck, the way Leah had shown me, and I was wearing a soft, dove-gray skirt that came to a little above my knees and a pale purple scoop-necked shirt. Jake's bracelet he had given me before the newborn fight was fastened to my wrist, and I wore little silver hoop earrings.
When he opened his door, I felt a rush of warmth between my thighs. It was pretty much a given every time I saw him now. His hair was smoothed back, looking incredibly soft. He was wearing dark slacks and a gray buttoned-shirt, looking delicious and very polished. It wasn't a style I was used to seeing on Jake; he was usually wearing only shorts or jeans and a t-shirt. This was a change and a very nice one.
"You look beautiful," he said, leaning down to kiss me.
"So do you. No sort of about it," I said with a grin.
He chuckled and led me out to his car. He took me to Smuggler's Landing on the waterfront. The view of the water was nice and we ordered clams and soup to begin with and smoked salmon for our entrée.
We agreed that we would keep all sensitive topics at bay for the night, so we talked about books, movies we wanted to see and agreed that's what we would do on our next date, and we discussed Billy and his health.
We just took our last bite of dessert. He sighed, leaned back, and ordered me another glass of wine.
"More wine?" I said with a grin.
"Hey, you're legal," he said, smirking. "Plus, you enjoyed it, and I could see you eyeing your empty glass."
I laughed. "Okay, but only one more."
I sipped my wine, feeling really happy, as Jake's fingers twined with mine on top of the table. When we finished, we strolled along the pier to stretch our legs and he even indulged me by going into the bookstore nearby so I could browse. We held hands as we watched the sunset, and I felt his lips against my temple.
"Let's go," he murmured. "I want you so much."
We hurried back to his apartment, barely able to keep our hands to ourselves. Inside, he hoisted me up, and I wrapped my legs around his waist. Our mouths locked, and we nearly fell into his bedroom. I laughed as my foot banged off the bedpost in his haste to deposit me.
I gasped as his head disappeared under my skirt. His mouth pressed against me in a heated kiss right through the flimsy lingerie I bought. My legs spread even wider, a small cry ripped from my throat, but he backed off right away.
His shirt was in the way, and I grasped it, trying to get it off of him. His eyes were wild, hungry, and my hips rose, wanting him to touch me everywhere. "No, baby," he purred, looking exactly like an untamed animal. "Touch yourself."
"What?" I said faintly. This was… new.
"You heard me. Touch yourself. Do it now." His voice was eager with need, demanding and hard, but his hands were gentle.
Hesitantly, I slid my fingers down my thigh, my eyes never leaving Jake's. When I slid my fingers beneath my flimsy pink panties, I realized just how wet I was. My lip caught between my teeth, I slid my fingers inside myself and began stroking. My back arched, my eyes roving over his naked, sculpted torso and down to where his slacks were unbuttoned.
The trail of hair leading down to his bulge had my mouth going dry. I whimpered and began stroking and pinching my clit in earnest, writing under him as he straddled me, watching me pleasure myself.
When I made myself come, I cried out. "Good girl," he murmured, stripping the rest of my clothes off. "Now you get a reward," he said teasingly.
I laughed breathily, gasping when he turned me over so I was face down. I put my hands down as I felt his mouth blaze a trail down my spine, his hands coming around to cup my breasts. When he finally grasped my hips, he inched himself inside me from behind. The position was new for me, and I moaned and thrust back as my body hummed from his touch.
As his hips began to pump, rocking me forward, I tried to hold on to what was left of my sanity.
"Oh," I gasped as he hooked one arm around my stomach, pulling me up so I was sitting on his lap backwards. "Oh yes," I whimpered when my head dropped back onto his shoulder. While he bounced me in his lap, his fingers unerringly zeroed in on my clit.
The fingers of his other hand were playing with my breasts, tweaking and tugging at them. I turned my head, my body throbbing with all that he was doing to me. When my fingers brushed over his, down to explore where we were connected, he groaned.
His mouth sought out mine, and I opened, craving the warmth and the feel of his tongue. Kissing Jake was like eating a decadent dessert; lush and delicious. His lips were soft, and I nipped at them as he continued to drive us toward the edge. His fingers touched my chin, his tongue delving deep, just as my back arched and I came heavily.
"Unhhhhh," I cried out, writhing, as his hips jerked me up higher. He bit down again on sensitive flesh, and I gripped his hair in my fist as he groaned out his own release.
I practically fell forward on the bed. Jake's cheek pressed to the small of my back. I stared out at the winking stars in the sky, feeling wrung out in the best way possible and happy. His lips pressed against my spine, fingers idly stroking over the skin of my side. It tickled, but I was too tired to move.
"Stay tonight," he murmured.
I smiled into his pillow. "Yes."
"And then stay here for good. Live with me, Bells."
Surprised, I managed to lift my head off the bed. "Really?" I asked.
He nodded against my back, and I felt delirious with joy. "Okay," I whispered.
I couldn't stop smiling. I hadn't heard it once since I'd come back, but it didn't escape my notice that he just called me Bells again.
Chapter 15
*~*~*
AN: Well, this one was a bit lighter for you! Not everything is solved, of course, but they're doing much better wouldn't you say? :o)