What a difference a couple of days make
All life seems to be is work and stress, maybe some romance and heartbreak, with a few moments of happiness scattered n between. It's a smile and a handshake, kind words and false interest, a whirlwind of programmed responses and robotic actions, all the while, wishing for something more.
What is more? What am I looking for? A connection? Someone to understand me? I've only just turned 21 and I feel my days are numbered. Why does that upset me? Not that I'm trying to be deep or emo, or anything, but I spend most of my time being pissed off at this chaotic bullshit and at the same time, I'm terrified at the thought of seeing it go. Why should I be, if I hate it so much?
I guess I know why. I guess what hurts is that I don't have anyone that wants to know, let alone cares. Nowadays I feel that talking to my friends is like combing air, and no matter how hard I try, there is still this lack of understanding, or even indifference towards me. I'll even go as far as to make some new friends, start some new connections, and still it is the same, or worse. I guess adults discard friendship as a silly childish pastime. Sometimes I feel like screaming, "I'm lonely dammit!".
I can't type anymore.
I hate working in an office.
What is more? What am I looking for? A connection? Someone to understand me? I've only just turned 21 and I feel my days are numbered. Why does that upset me? Not that I'm trying to be deep or emo, or anything, but I spend most of my time being pissed off at this chaotic bullshit and at the same time, I'm terrified at the thought of seeing it go. Why should I be, if I hate it so much?
I guess I know why. I guess what hurts is that I don't have anyone that wants to know, let alone cares. Nowadays I feel that talking to my friends is like combing air, and no matter how hard I try, there is still this lack of understanding, or even indifference towards me. I'll even go as far as to make some new friends, start some new connections, and still it is the same, or worse. I guess adults discard friendship as a silly childish pastime. Sometimes I feel like screaming, "I'm lonely dammit!".
I can't type anymore.
I hate working in an office.